Ex Machina
by Big J Bonk
Summary: Engineer brings an oddly-behaving Scoutbot into the base in the hopes of dismantling and studying it, and the other mercenaries have to figure out how to cope with it as it learns how to live and interact with humans. Unfortunately, all of Mann Co. will have to deal with the consequences of Engineer's rash decision. Rated T for the usual TF2 stuff. Now with official cover.
1. Prologue

**Here we are with another TF2 story! I'd gone on a bit of a one-shot kick, and I'm probably going to continue to be on that kick, but I also wanted to try to write another multi-chapter story. I never seem to finish them, either because I get bored or because I run out of time or ideas. I'm not a very inspired person. :p So don't expect me to finish this, but I'm going to try. I have a few chapters written out, so it's not gonna end after one chapter.**

 **This idea's probably been done before, but you know what? I like Scoutbots. You guys seem to like Scoutbots. So I'm writing about a Scoutbot.**

 **By the way, this story was inspired by Sanctuscecidit. Be sure to read their stories, because they're great! :D**

 **Also, this story takes place in Ghost Town. That's where I usually play MVM, so I'm most familiar with that map.**

 **Now I'm gonna put up a boring disclaimer and shut up.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own TF2 in any way, shape, or form. I have a copy of the game, a few fanfics, and my own interpretation of the characters. Everyone on here knows I don't own the rights to the game, anyway. Why do we have disclaimers? With how many people there are who didn't make TF2, why aren't there claimers instead?**

 **Shutting up.**

* * *

Well, wasn't this a downright mess.

Ever since Gray Mann had announced his existence to TF Industries, the mercenaries had to fight off gigantic hordes of robots. Wave after wave, it seemed to be an endless battle, with little to no rest in between. Every few days, though, the bots would eventually trickle to a stop, where the mercs could possibly get a few hours of rest. After that, it was back to the grind. It was an endless, grueling cycle.

" _A TANK HAS ENTERED THE AREA._ "

"Dagnabbit," Engineer muttered, whacking a few fresh dents out of his Sentry. If there was a tank on the map, then a barrage of Scoutbots was almost sure to follow, and the rest of the team would be too busy with the tank to bother taking out any of them, even if one or two had a goshdarn _bomb_ strapped to their backs. And that's why the tinkerer had his Sentry holed up near the hatch. He could take care of any bots that came too close, and Wrangle the ones that were better taken care of from a distance (damn those giant Soldierbots). It also left him plenty of time to pack up and get to safety if a Sentry Buster happened to show up.

A couple minutes after the tank announcement, sure enough, a tidal wave of Scoutbots came running for the hatch, haphazardly swinging their bats at the empty air. Engineer heard their robotic hoots and screeches long before they arrived, so he already had his Sentry Wrangled, and he fired at the first hint of blue he saw. All around him robots fell, screeching their metallic obscenities before joining in the broken half-ring around the Sentry.

It wasn't until the end of the wave that Engineer realized that none of them had been carrying the bomb.

One by one the mercs started to trickle in, tired but happy- all six of them, as the rest were defending other bases. Besides Engineer, on the team was Medic, Pyro, Scout, Soldier, and Sniper, although Medic, Sniper, and Pyro had originally come from BLU. It was tough having to work with them at first, but time and a common enemy had eventually worked them into a friendly and effective team.

Scout, of course, was the first to appear. He jogged over to Engineer, hopping over the remains of a Demoknight. "Damn, Hardhat, ya shoulda seen da way I took out dat Pyrobot! What a fuckin' moron!"

"I think I know when ya mean. Was that when you came out of Respawn complainin' about gettin' your ass cooked?"

"Fuck you, Engie." Scout dismissively swatted his hand downwards and entered the base.

The next to arrive were Soldier and Medic. Despite coming from separate teams, they surprisingly became fast friends. It was more surprising that Soldier had accepted the ex-BLU Medic so quickly, but the doctor's Quick Fix likely had something to do with that.

"Ja, ja, I saw everyzhing, Soldier," Medic was saying. "I vas zhere, remember?"

"Ha! Nobody can say they beat a tank to death with a shovel! Nobody but me!"

"Howdy," Engineer greeted them. "So I see y'all took out the tank with a shovel?"

"Affirmative!" Soldier shouted before Medic could answer. "Those damn robots didn't stand a chance. Gray Mann should stop sending them, because they keep getting crushed by _me!_ But running like a bunch of commie cowards wouldn't save them from my wrath!"

"I see," Engineer said. "By the by, did either of ya happen to see a Scoutbot with a bomb? I didn't see one by the hatch."

"Zhis dummkopf vas too busy vith zhe tank to pay attention to his surroundings," Medic answered. "I, for vun, vas _not_ too busy. Even so, I didn't see any bombs. I _did_ zhink it vas razher strange..."

"Yeah," Engineer agreed. "Well, I plan to find out if there was one in the first place. There's always a few stragglers."

"Alright. But do be careful out zhere, Herr Engineer."

"Will do." The Texan pumped his shotgun for emphasis.

As Soldier and Medic headed back to base, Engineer went deeper into the map, looking into every nook and cranny as he passed. Sniper soon passed by with a polite wave, and Engineer later ran into Pyro, who was trying to pry his axe out of a recently-demolished Spybot. The firebug looked up and gave an enthusiastic wave.

"Hey there, Py. Have ya seen a bomb 'round here? Woulda been carried by a Scoutbot?"

Pyro thought for a moment, then he shook his head. "Mrrhrr, rr hrrbrrb. Brr wrrbph rrbrr, phrr brrph nrr mrr Sphrrpbrrbsp."

As Engineer continued on his way, he muttered to himself, "Somethin' just ain't right about this..."

It was near the ledge, with the carrier tank just beyond, that he heard it. A series of sharp static noises, as if something were shorting out. Lifting his shotgun and narrowing his eyes, he quickly marched in the direction of the noise: on his left, between two dilapidated buildings, a favorite spot for robots to hide until they aren't expected. Several times their base had nearly been compromised because of a single Pyrobot or Sniperbot, and Engineer seemed to be the only one who thought it was a good idea to look for bots there, although he was usually too far away to do anything about it.

The mechanic found the source when he turned the narrow corner. He could just see the nose of a bomb. When he stepped closer, he could see a Scoutbot next to it. But it wasn't acting quite right. Its bat lay next to it, and its back was to Engineer as it ripped out several wires from the bomb and mashed its bulky fingers on the number pad. Engineer figured that this was the cause of the static, but it was a miracle that the robot hadn't managed to set the bomb off in its efforts.

Suddenly the Scoutbot whipped around, just noticing Engineer's presence. It quickly stood and backed up, away from its bat, hands raised. Its eyes flickered, trying to maintain the signal it was no longer receiving. Engineer's eyes narrowed with curiosity. If a robot still had the ability to move, it was programmed to attack anyone and anything in red. The Texan checked and yes, he was indeed still wearing his team color. But the Scoutbot seemed almost afraid of him. Its body jerked in time with its engine, less dramatically than most other robots, almost giving the laborer the impression that it was quaking in fear. Could robots feel fear? Very curious indeed.

Engineer raised his shotgun, having not realized that he'd begun to lower it, and jabbed the Scoutbot in the midsection, causing it to stumble but remain upright. "I don't know If you can communicate, boy, but you are goin' to try. Ya got three seconds to tell me why you didn't deliver the bomb before I blow a hole in your core."

The Scoutbot continued to hold up its hands, as if trying to placate the merc, when surprisingly it _did_ say something. "Come on, man!" Engineer recognized it as a voice clip of a call for Medic, but it surprised him, nonetheless. It certainly wasn't programmed to say that in a situation like this, and yet that's exactly what came out of its vocal processor.

To his own surprise, Engineer put his gun away, never taking his eyes off of the robot, and instead reached for the wrench at his belt. He advanced and raised it high above his head. The Scoutbot shrank back and looked away, fully expecting the blow that came down on top of its head. It crumpled in a heap, twitching, its eyes still dimly flickering.

Engineer bent down and hefted the fallen robot over his shoulder. Here was a robot that displayed little, if any, aggression. Perhaps he could take it apart, study it. He could glean all the information he could from it; the possibilities were endless! Maybe he could even turn the robot against its creator. Maybe, just maybe, he could put an end to this long, terrible war.

He only hoped that his teammates would see it that way.

(...)

"What the hell is this, private?!"

Soldier was the first to see Engineer arrive with the Scoutbot, and boy was he _pissed._ "Fraternizing with the enemy! That is a criminal _offense!_ "

"Take it easy, Soldier," Engineer said in an attempt to calm him down. "It ain't gonna hurt us like this."

"Gotta say I'm with Soldier," Sniper added, walking in from another room. "I just don't get why you'd bring a bloody _robot_ into our base."

"Yeah! Dere ain't room for two Scouts in here!" Scout interjected from his perch on a dusty shelf.

"Krrn Hrr phrrb rrb rrn phrr?" Pyro asked.

"Not this one, Py," answered Engineer. "Somethin's different about this here Scoutbot, and I plan to dismantle it and study it."

"In case you have forgotten," said Medic, "ve are in zhe middle of a robot var. Ve don't have time for your hobbies."

"Dis comin' from da guy who cut our Spy open to try an' put a Spy-checkin' thingy in 'im," Scout shot back. " _In da middle of a Payload race._ "

"He vas such an annoyance! Besides, could you imagine zhe possibilities of a device zhat could render a Spy's cloak and disguises ineffective?"

"That aside," Engineer interrupted, getting the team back on track, "I was hopin' we could use the robot to stop this war. Sometimes the robots'll lock up when their signal gets interrupted, right?" The mercs nodded, some with more understanding than others. "Well, I can figure out the frequency of the signal they're recievin', and build a machine to block it. I might even be able to send my own signal and get the bots to turn on each other." The mercs looked varying levels of impressed, muttering amongst themselves.

"This plan has merit, private," Soldier barked, "but that does not change the fact that you let a robot into our base! What if it attracts the others?!"

"Except dat da others are already attackin' our base, dumbass," said Scout.

"I must admit, it is a good plan," Medic pondered. "If anyvun can pull it off, it vould be you, Herr Engineer. Zhe question is, how vill you find zhe time to vork on zhe robot vhen ve have an army of robots attacking us vithout end?"

"Well, I ain't gonna have it active while we're out fightin'," replied Engineer. "Could ya imagine what it could do to our base unattended? No, I'll only activate it when I can keep an eye on it."

Sniper weakly raised a hand. "Uh, fellas?"

"So you mean dat robot's still active and shit? Ya didn't break it?"

"Guys?"

"Heavens no, Scout! I don't wanna damage it more than it already is. It'd be hard to figure out how it works when it's broken. Pieces might not go together right, or-"

"Guys!"

All heads snapped in Sniper's direction. The bushman quietly pointed a finger at the Scoutbot, who up until this point had been motionless. Its eyes flickered once, and suddenly it started flailing. Engineer dropped the robot with a startled yell, sending it crashing to the floor. It scrambled to its feet, hunched over with its hands in the air. It met the gazes of each suspicious mercenary, but it didn't say a word, nor did it make a move to attack them.

"See? It ain't even armed," said Engineer. "It can't do no harm to us like this."

"Of course it can!" Soldier bellowed. "Everyone knows that all robots can shoot lasers! From their eyes!"

"Rrph phrr krrb, wrrhrrb phrr hrrb brrn rrph brr nrr?" Pyro reasoned.

"Well, erm... I suppose you have a point there..."

As Soldier tried to reason to himself how a robot could indeed be harmless, the Scoutbot had started backing towards what it hoped was a door. Instead it backed over the upgrade counter, crashing ungracefully on the other side with a very Scoutlike scoff.

"Vell," said Medic, astonished. "It certainly does not act like zhe ozher robots."

"Ya sure it ain't broken, Hardhat?" asked Scout.

"In all honesty... nope. But I still want to know why it's actin' the way it is."

As the Scoutbot peeked slightly over the counter, Sniper commented, "Looks to me loike it's scared."

"Impossible!" shouted Soldier. "Robots do not feel!"

"Hrr phrrk Phnrrbrrph rrph," Pyro interjected. "Rrnphrr, krrn rrbrph phrr?"

The Texan glanced at the cowering Scoutbot, whose eyes flickered as it tried to sink even lower. "...I don't know."

* * *

 **Here's the Pyro-ese translation, in case you wanted to know.**

 **"Nuh-uh, I haven't. The wave's over, so there's no more Scoutbots."**

 **"Can I set it on fire?"**

 **"If they could, wouldn't they have done it by now?"**

 **"I think Sniper's right. Engie, can robots feel?"**

 **So here's the first chapter at five in the morning. PLEASE tell me if there's any typos or errors in this. In general, tell me what you thought. More is on the way!**


	2. Ability

**Well, we're getting this up pretty quick, aren't we? I hate to say that, if I don't get the third up within the next few days, it could be a month before it's posted. But when it comes to me, that's nothing new, is it? :p**

 **This chapter was a little shorter than what I normally write, and future chapters probably will be, too. That is, unless something really eventful happens or I suddenly get good at including details.**

 **I really liked one scene in this chapter. I hope you guys like it, too.**

 **I'll let you read before I think of something else that gets me sidetracked.**

* * *

For the time being, the mercenaries reluctantly decided it was okay to keep the Scoutbot inside, as long as it didn't cause trouble. For the most part, it seemed to be behaving itself, although occasionally it would bump into a wall or accidentally knock down a portrait of some relative of Saxton Hale's. Sometimes, it would even imitate one of Scout's huffs or yells, as if it knew that a human would make such sounds in their annoyance. Engineer highly doubted that. But he knew that he was probably going to have to reset the robot's calibration, and maybe see if it had a loose wire in its eyes or something.

At the moment, the Scoutbot sat in Engineer's office, under the Texan's critical gaze. Occasionally it would rock back and forth, or drum its fingers against its legs. Of course, it was normal for a robot to share some quirks with its flesh-and-blood counterpart.

"So," Engineer said, getting the Scoutbot's attention. "You can communicate on some level." It wasn't a question, but the Scoutbot nodded anyways. "Can you only speak with prerecorded sounds?" It nodded again. "Could you record more?" The robot didn't move, but its eyes flickered twice. Engineer decided to interpret it as "I don't know." His entire body tingled. He was communicating with a robot... somewhat. It was rather exciting.

"Well, do you think you could try?" Again the Scoutbot didn't move, and Engineer thought it might have deactivated somehow. But its eyes still glowed, save for the occasional flicker. That train clearly wasn't going anywhere. So he tried a different approach. "Can ya tell me what you were doin' with the bomb?"

Suddenly, the Scoutbot bellowed, "Booo!" Engineer almost laughed; apparently the darn thing knew how to _jeer,_ of all things. But that didn't answer his question. He was about to rephrase, but the Scoutbot continued to speak. "Fol- _Fol_ -Follow me! Move up! _Move up!_ Come-Come-Come-Come- _CCCCCC-_ " The Scoutbot started to spark, its head jittering and twitching violently. Before Engineer could make a move to cool it down, it slumped in its seat, eyes dim.

"Dagnabbit!" Engineer cried. It looked like the darned robot had overheated. The laborer desperately hoped that nothing had been too seriously damaged. Thankfully, a diagnostic check showed that nothing had melted or anything, although something that Engineer figured was its processing chip was extremely hot.

Satisfied that the Scoutbot wasn't beyond repair, Engineer leaned back in his seat, thinking. Had the Scoutbot been trying to explain itself? Or had it just been randomly playing a bunch of voice clips? He suspected the latter, but considering the robot's behavior and general demeanor, he doubted it. This was one strange robot.

Sadly, Engineer had no time to think on it further, as an alarm started to blare, signaling the arrival of a carrier tank. Giving the Scoutbot one last check and satisfied that it wasn't going to activate on its own while he was away, the Texan grabbed his shotgun from its place by the door and rushed outside to fight another wave of robots.

(...)

It was another two days before Engineer could get back to his workshop, and he was exhausted. He groggily looked back and forth, paying special attention to the location and position of the Scoutbot, his scrap metal, and even his stool. Nothing seemed to be out of place, so he hunkered down on the stool and let out a weary sigh, running one hand underneath his hat. Trying to get himself to relax, he let the gentle humming that filled his office soothe him...

Humming? Nothing in his office hummed.

"...Scoutbot, I know you're active." Obediently, the robot's eyes blinked on as it switched out of idle, raising its head as its motor fully powered up. "You didn't touch anythin', did you?" It shook its head. "Did you go anywhere?" Silence. "'I don't know' ain't an acceptable answer. Now answer me honestly. Where did you go?"

The Scoutbot was silent for a long time, fidgeting. Suddenly, its voice gave way to static. And then it spoke. "Go right! Go right! _GGGo_ left!"

Engineer narrowed his eyes, thinking once again that the robot's voice box was on the fritz. But once he thought about what it said, he quickly pieced it together. Right, right, left... That would have brought the robot to the automatic door by the upgrade station. "You went outside?!"

The Scoutbot quickly shook its head. "Can we-we- _we_ just let's go?"

"No, you cain't just leave!"

"Need a teleporter here!"

"And I ain't buildin' you a teleporter!" Engineer couldn't believe it. He was arguing with a robot. A robot!

"Need a tele-teleporter here! Can we just let's go? Need a teleporter here! Need a teleporter here! Need a-Need a-Need a-NeedNeedNeed _NeedNeedNeedNeed-_ "

"If I have to say it again I can promise you that I _will_ dismantle you!" The Scoutbot shut up. "Good. Now, I know you can understand me. Can you tell me what you were doin' with the bomb?"

"Booo!"

"Boo what?" Engineer demanded. "What in Sam Hill is that s'posed to mean?"

"Booo! Come on, man! _Booo!_ "

This wasn't going anywhere.

"Come on, boy, get up. We're gonna have a chat with someone."

(...)

"Well, whaddya expect me to do, Hardhat?"

"I just wanna see somethin'," Engineer replied. "This here Scoutbot is apparently able to use various audio files in tandem with each other, which allows it to communicate on some level. But it ain't enough. Since they're all recordin's of _your_ voice, I figured if ya spoke to it, it could record more and use those to communicate."

"Can we just let's go?" blurted the Scoutbot.

"Um... yeeeaahhh, whatever all dat technobabble was," Scout drawled. "But why's it gotta be me?"

"You're a Scout. This is a Scoutbot. It ain't rocket science."

"I-I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to-to-to?"

Scout stared at the Scoutbot, then looked at Engineer. "How da hell'd it get a hold'a _dat_ one?" The Texan just shrugged, so Scout turned back to his robot counterpart. "I can't believe I'm doin' this... So, uh... hi."

"Yo whassup?"

Scout raised his eyebrows slightly, again looking at Engineer. "So it can say, like, anything I've eva said? Eva?"

"Well," Engineer said, "anythin' there's footage of, I suppose."

"Cool," Scout chuckled. He turned back to the Scoutbot, this time with a smile on his face. "So, do ya like baseball?"

The robot turned to Engineer, then to Scout, much like the runner had done before. It replied, "I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to?"

"Yeah, I guess ya wouldn't'a played much, huh." Silence. "...Well, how about rock, paper, scissors? Do ya know how to play dat?" The Scoutbot's eyes flickered. "It's easy. Ya just gotta get your hand flat, like dis. Or in a fist, or a peace-sign-lookin' thing. We both do it. Rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, and paper beats rock. Here, let's try it!"

Scout bounced his fist in his hand, but the robot had already held out a flat palm. "No, no, ya gotta do it at da same time. Like dis. One, two, shoot!"

" _Fire! Fire! Fire!_ " the Scoutbot shouted.

Scout spluttered as Engineer laughed. "What! No, it ain't _dat_ kinda shoot! Jeeze! Look, just look. One, two, three. Got it? Now try it."

The Scoutbot stared at Scout for a moment, eyes flickering, but then it bounced its hand like Scout had done, shooting paper on the third bounce.

"Dere, you're gettin' da hang of it! Now let's do it for real!"

Engineer watched in silent awe as the two Scouts played. The Scoutbot won with paper. Then it lost with paper. Then it lost with paper again. And again. "Here," he said, joining in on the lesson. "You ain't gonna win if you throw the same hand over and over. Ya gotta change it up, like Scout's doin'. Here, let us show you how it's done."

As Scout and Engineer played the game, the Scoutbot watched them, paying special attention to the hands thrown. Rock and paper. Rock and rock. Scissors and paper. Paper and scissors. The game continued until Engineer had five wins to Scout's three.

"Now you see? Try playin' against Scout again."

At first, the Scoutbot threw the same hands as Engineer had. Paper, rock, paper, scissors. But then the pattern changed. Scissors, scissors, rock, scissors, paper, rock, paper. It and Scout continued to play for several minutes, Scout quickly falling behind as Engineer watched. Soon, Scout wasn't getting wins or even ties. The Scoutbot had figured out his pattern, and calculated all of his moves and countered them accordingly.

Eventually, Scout just threw his hands in the air. "Ya never played dis before, how da hell are you better'n me? Screw dis!"

Needless to say, Engineer was stunned. Were the robots programmed with the ability to learn? Or was it just this one? Was it even supposed to be able to learn?

What were Gray Mann's machines capable of?

* * *

 **And here we have another chapter! Yay! :D The Scoutbot's going to meet everyone soon enough, and it already looks like he has a friend. Surely everyone's going to love and adore it... right? The Scoutbot isn't some Gary Stu, so not everything is going to go perfectly for it, obviously. Stay tuned, and be ready for the next chapter!**


	3. Enemy

**Well, I'm getting this up earlier than I thought.** ** _Way_** **earlier.**

 **Scoutbot's meeting another merc this time around. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

After the surprisingly intense rock paper scissors game, Engineer led the Scoutbot back to his workshop, where it went to claim its seat as the tinkerer sat on his stool. The two stared at each other for a while, Engineer with a sort of stunned pleasure and the Scoutbot with... something. It was hard to tell with lightbulb eyes and an inarticulate jaw.

Suddenly, Engineer chuckled. "Y'know, you really are somethin'." As expected, he didn't get much of an answer. "Are all of you robots programmed with a learnin' AI?" The Scoutbot's eyes flickered, then it nodded. "Well, how come you're the only one I've seen utilize it?"

The Scoutbot's eyes started to flicker again, but then it started to crackle with sparks.

"If ya cain't answer that, then don't overthink it." The sparking stopped, but its eyes continued to flicker. "Wouldn't want you meltin' down on me." Engineer shifted to make himself more comfortable. "So, how do you like our Scout? Quite a ball of energy, ain't he?"

The Scoutbot's eyes flickered again- Engineer was starting to wonder if it was trying to blink- then it raised its fist over an open palm.

"You liked that game, huh? Well, Scout's great if ya wanna find a way to pass the time. He's got quite the imagination on 'im. So hey, do ya think you managed to record him?" The Scoutbot lowered its hands, then copied the shrug that the Texan had done earlier. "Try sayin' somethin'."

The Scoutbot's eyes flickered... blinked? It let out a stream of static, harsh and grating, forcing Engineer to cover his ears. The robot's head started to jerk and twitch, and the static began to stutter. Then, as it looked like it was about to blow a fuse, the sound suddenly smoothed out. "Dere, you're gettin' da hang of it!"

When he heard that, the Texan nearly leapt out of his seat and did a jig. This robot was amazing! It could talk, learn, pick up on human speech... Could it think? Could it _feel?_ It could definitely process, as well as imitate. But could it feel true emotion, or could it simply only act like it could?

Thinking back, Engineer realized that he'd only asked factual questions from the Scoutbot. What would happen if he asked it a question that required having a preference? Would it prefer cats to dogs? Did it have a favorite color? It seemed to like rock paper scissors, so it was entirely possible.

"How would you like to talk to the rest of the team?" The Scoutbot's eyes flickered twice, then it started to stand up. "Now I ain't tellin' you that you _have_ to meet them. I'm askin' if ya _want_ to. I'm givin' you a choice."

Engineer expected it to start sparking, or jittering, or _something_ , but instead the robot froze in its half-raised position. The only movement it made came from the revolutions of its engine. Its eyes started to dim, but after several minutes they brightened back up as it stood to its full height. "Doc!"

"Ya wanna meet our Medic?"

"MEDIC!"

Engineer chuckled. "All righty then. Come on, he's probably in his office."

As they left the workshop, Engineer led the way, fully trusting the Scoutbot with his back.

(...)

"So, you're telling me zhat it _vanted_ to see me?"

"Eeyup."

"As in, it specifically requested _me,_ because it had a desire to do so? As a human being vould?"

"Medic's what came out of its voice box. If it wasn't askin' ta see you, then I don't know what it coulda meant."

"Fascinating. But vhy? How?"

"Why don't you ask it yourself?" The Scoutbot stood next to Engineer, staring intently at the doctor, who warily stared back.

After a moment, Medic sighed. "Alright, fine... Er... Vhy did you vish to see me, Scoutbot?"

The robot quickly answered in a monotonous voice, _"Low power. Refill required for optimum function._ "

Medic spluttered. "A-A refill? It came to be recharged? I deal vith human bodies, not vith robots!"

"Take it easy, pardner," Engineer said, trying to calm Medic down before things could start getting out of hand; the doctor hated feeling helpless, even under the most mundane of circumstances. "The Medicbots probably used to take care of that. We've got some money behind the counter. Why don't you go grab a handful, doc?"

"Erm... Ja. Yes. Er, I vill be back." With a sort of awkward nod, Medic briskly walked out of the room to find some money.

Once the doctor was gone, the Scoutbot turned its head to look at Engineer. "Oh, don't worry about him," said the laborer. "He just likes to be in control. Feels helpless if he thinks there's nothin' he can do. Best thing to do when he's like that is to give 'im a job to keep him busy... He's sorta like our old Medic like that." Engineer looked wistful at that, but the Scoutbot continued to stare at him. "Oh, didn't you know? There used to be two teams of mercenaries, RED and BLU. We joined forces after Gray Mann attacked us. We all started wearin' red because my Sentries kept shootin' at the BLUs." He chuckled a little at that. "And now, here we are."

The Scoutbot continued to listen, but Engineer had gone quiet, off in his own little world. However, they both snapped out of it when Medic returned, large wad of cash in hand. "I've got zhe money," he said.

"'Preciate it, doc," replied Engineer. "Now, do I put it in through this hatch here, or..." Experimentally, he opened up a small hatch on the Scoutbot's back. Inside were a couple of bills, singed at the edges. It looked like the right place, so the Texan placed the money inside with his gloved hand and secured the hatch. Almost immediately the Scoutbot's eyes blipped, and it gave an automatic, "Thanks, doc."

"So," said Medic, "have you figured out vhat's so special about zhis robot?"

"Besides its behavior, no," Engineer replied. "I've checked, and nothin' seems to be wrong with it. I'm startin' to think it's just some spontaneous glitch."

"So you've already taken it apart?"

"Well, sort of," said Engineer, rubbing the back of his head. "I ran a diagnostic check on it, and everythin' looks fine. I'd _like_ to take it apart-" The Scoutbot stepped back and shouted "Booo!" at Engineer. "-but I don't think I'd learn much from it that way at this point."

"Vell, vhat about zhat signal frequency you vere talking about?" Medic asked. "How are you going to figure it out if you don't take it apart?"

"Come on, man!" the Scoutbot exclaimed, looking back and forth between the two mercs. It had raised its hands slightly.

Engineer glanced at the nervous robot. "I don't think now's the best time for this conversation. I think we're scarin' it."

Medic deadpanned. "It's a robot."

"True," Engineer agreed, "but it's a robot that can think for itself. Takin' it apart... it just don't seem right."

The Scoutbot's voice box made a low static noise, then said, "Thanks, Hardhat."

The doctor scoffed and frowned. "Vell, I suppose I von't bozher you vith it any more. Do vhat you vish vith zhe robot. It's none of my business if you'd razher put us all in danger because you're so vorried about a robot's 'feelings.'"

"Now hold on just a-"

" _MEDIC!_ "

Both mercenaries snapped their gazes to the Scoutbot. It continued to cower, but it stared right at the doctor. "MEDIC! MEDIC! Ya doichebag!"

Medic openly gaped at the robot as Engineer tried to usher it out the door. But his face soon settled into a deep frown as he said, "Just remember vhere your loyalties lie." As soon as Engineer and the Scoutbot had backed past the doorframe, he slammed the door shut.

After walking down the hall a few paces, Engineer grumbled, "Where my loyalties lie... I don't want ta hear that comin' from a damn BLU..." He glanced at the Scoutbot, who was staring at the hallway behind them as they walked. "I'm real sorry about all that. He just doesn't understand yet. Just give him time, he'll come around. And thanks, for stickin' up for me earlier."

"We got 'em, we got 'em," the Scoutbot replied.

"...I ain't gonna take you apart," said Engineer. The Scoutbot blinked a few times, but didn't speak. "There's other ways to get the signal. It _has_ been naggin' at me though. Do you want this war to end?" After a pause, the Scoutbot nodded. "And, if you were given the chance, would you go back to Gray Mann to try to stop us from fightin'? That'd certainly be one way to end the war."

The Scoutbot didn't answer him. There was no static, no sparks, nothing. Engineer sighed through his nose. "I understand. That's probably a tough question. Wasn't right of me to ask." He paused. "Well, you still gotta meet the rest of the team. I'm sure Pyro'd be excited to meet you."

* * *

 **Next chapter we get to meet our favorite little maniac! I wonder how _this_ meeting's going to go? Obviously it's going to be a little mumble-heavy, so if you don't understand him, look at the bottom of the chapter for translation.**

 **You'll have to wait for this one, since I haven't finished writing it yet. Be sure to stay tuned, and I'll update as soon as I can.**


	4. Animosity

**I'm back from vacation, and I had a lot of fun! I saw a black bear with her cubs, white wolves, and elk, and a wild bird let me pet it. I also saw a bison in the road, and on a separate occasion a bunch of tourists got too close to one and nearly got rammed. Good times.**

 **To make up for the wait, this chapter is a little longer. Chapter five should be, too, and is almost done being written. I can't wait to put that one up.**

 **The meeting ended up shorter than I thought it would, so this chapter features two. Relationships (non-romantic ones) are being established! Yay!**

 **Also, thanks to those who have reviewed, faved, and followed. There's no better fuel for a fanfic writer. :) Enjoy!**

* * *

A few minutes later, Engineer was knocking on Pyro's door, with the Scoutbot fidgeting behind him. The firebug often hid in his room as soon as a battle was over, presumably only coming out to eat, fight, use the restroom, and maybe occasionally attempt to socialize with the rest of the team. Sadly, almost everyone, including the other ex-BLUs, couldn't understand a word he was saying, so conversations tended to be rather short.

Pyro was quick to answer the door, and he seemed a little surprised to see his friend. "Rr, Rrngrr. Yrr hrrbrrb Sphrrph brr rrn rr wrr." He then noticed the robot standing behind him. "Yrr brrph phrr Sphrrbrrph? Rrngrr, rrph phrrph rrbrph?"

"Oh, I was just introducin' this here Scoutbot to everyone," Engineer replied. "I wanted everyone to get used to havin' it around, since it'll likely be here a while."

"Rrkrr." Pyro sounded like he was smiling, though it was impossible to really tell, but he enthusiastically offered the robot a hand. "Nrrph phr mrrph yrr."

The Scoutbot flinched at the initial movement, but quickly realized it wasn't some sort of attack. Even so, it stared at the hand for a while before turning to look at Engineer for help.

"Oh, that's a handshake," the Texan explained. "It's somethin' you do to introduce yourself. Ya just hold his hand and shake it. It's easy."

The Scoutbot turned back around. Pyro still had his hand out, head cocked to the side. The robot looked at the hand, then at Pyro. It slowly reached out and grasped the firebug's hand, shaking it side to side. Pyro giggled. But when he tried to let go, the Scoutbot still had his hand in its grasp.

"Heh, you're s'posed to let go after a handshake," Engineer said with a chuckle, and the Scoutbot obediently let go. Pyro didn't seem to mind the slip, and in fact seemed rather amused. Engineer was just glad that the firebug didn't mind having the Scoutbot around. He figured he wouldn't; he was pretty friendly.

"Phr," Pyro began, turning to face the robot, "hrrph yrr mrrph phrr rrphrrph yrb?"

The Scoutbot looked back and forth down the hallway, making sure no one else was around. It leaned in close, and in a reduced volume, said, "Medic!"

"Mrrbrrk," Pyro repeated, slowly shaking his head. "Hrrph phrrph rr wrrbrr." Suddenly the firebug paused, then made a breathy noise that was probably a gasp. "Hrrb rrn. Krrn yrr rrnbrrphrrb mrr?" The Scoutbot nodded, and Pyro gasped again.

"You bet it can," Engineer said. "It can just about instantly recognize human speech-" To his surprise, Pyro actually scooped the Scoutbot into a huge bear hug. The poor robot immediately started squirming, letting out a harsh noise that sounded an awful lot like one of Scout's death cries.

"Take it easy, pardner," said Engineer, coming to the Scoutbot's aid. "It ain't used to everythin' yet. It's easy to scare it."

Pyro set the Scoutbot down, and it immediately darted behind Engineer. "Phrrhrr. Nrrwrrnph rrbrr rrnbrrphrrb mrr phrr krrkphrr brrphrr."

"Don't worry about it," Engineer replied. "Just take it easy, is all. I'm just glad you and the Scoutbot get along. Oh, it's also met our Scout, by the way."

"Phrrb?" Pyro asked. "Wrrb brrb yrr phrrnk? Hrrph hrr mrrnrrph phr rrnrr phr krrb rrph rrb yrr yrrb?" The Scoutbot suspended its fist over its palm in response. "Rr, rrph phrrb phrrbrph phr mrrn?"

"Kind of a big deal," the Scoutbot replied.

"It and Scout had a game of rock paper scissors," Engineer explained. "I guess it just associates the game with him now. It was quite a thing to watch."

"Rrhrr?" Pyro said. "Wrr, Rr nrr phrrnph rrb brrmph. Mrrbrr Rr krrb phrrph yrr phrrmphrrm." The Scoutbot nodded-with some enthusiasm, Engineer noticed-and Pyro happily clapped his hands and giggled.

"Well, maybe another time," said Engineer. "The Scoutbot's still gotta meet Sniper and Soldier. Can't say I know how that last one's gonna go, though..."

"Rr nrr," Pyro breathed. "Brrb rrk rrph phrrb rrn."

"No jokin'," the Texan sighed. "I think I'll introduce Sniper first. Hopefully gettin' everyone on board with the Scoutbot'll convince Soldier it ain't so bad. Hopefully."

"Rrph hrrb phr hrr rrph hrrm. Brrph brr krrphrr."

"Will do," Engineer said with a curt nod. "Come on, Scoutbot. Let's go see Sniper." When Engineer turned, the robot loyally followed, only a couple paces behind.

"Phrrnph phr phrrphm brr!" Pyro called after them.

Engineer turned long enough to offer a short wave. After a quick glance at him, the Scoutbot mimicked the gesture.

As soon as the two were a ways down the hallway, Engineer quickly turned around, pinning the Scoutbot with his stern gaze. "Now listen. Sniper don't live in these rooms. He stays in his camper van, and that means we have to go outside. I'm puttin' a lot of trust in you, you understand, so you are _not_ to leave my side as long as we're out. Do I make myself clear?"

The robot's shoulders hunched as it lowered its head, but it still nodded after a brief pause.

"Good. Now come. I don't know how much longer of a break Gray's gonna give us."

Engineer led the Scoutbot to the door leading to the battlefield. It slid open as the Texan approached, causing the robot to blink. Once outside, Engineer stayed close to the wall, occasionally glancing towards the ledge a ways away to scan for incoming robots. The Scoutbot stared for longer, eyeing one area in particular. It gazed at the little nook, the one between the two buildings. A lot had happened in that corner. The Scoutbot remembered, and the fact that it could had been a strange notion for it to accept.

"What part of 'do not leave my side' did ya not understand?!" Engineer called from a small distance away. Startled, the Scoutbot all but scampered to catch up to him, making a point to follow at no more than three steps behind.

The two made their way around the corner to an area that the Scoutbot, and perhaps even Gray Mann, hadn't even known existed. Still, Engineer stayed by the wall, so the Scoutbot did likewise. Soon, they'd made it to the back, where the camper van was parked, and on top rested Sniper, kicking back on an old, rusty lawn chair that he'd somehow managed to haul up there.

Despite not having looked over, the bushman seemed to be aware of their presence. "Wot're you doing back here," he asked shortly, "and why did you bring _that?_ "

Engineer gulped. Things were already looking bad. "I know you don't like none of us comin' back here, but I figured if the Scoutbot's gonna be stickin' around, it would be good for it to get to know everybody."

"Get to know..." Sniper chuckled. "It's a bloody _robot,_ Engie. It's not going to 'get to know' anything."

"Bein' a robot don't got nothin' to do with it," Engineer calmly countered. "It can think and learn just like the rest of us. Heck, it even likes Scout. It _likes_ somethin', Stretch."

"Well, how about rock, paper, scissors?" the Scoutbot added, raising a fist. "Do ya know how to play dat?"

"It also likes rock paper scissors," Engineer explained.

Sniper turned just enough to quirk a brow at the pair. "Did Scout teach it that?"

"You bet he did."

"So it's just copying him, then."

"Now it just ain't like that!" Engineer shouted in frustration, once again startling the Scoutbot. "Besides, didn't you say the other day that it looked scared? It would have to feel to-"

"I know exactly wot I said," Sniper snapped, rudely interrupting the Texan. "I said that it _looked_ loike it. All it's doing is copying our Scout, because that's wot Gray's robots do. _They copy us._ Did that thought ever cross your moind?"

Engineer opened his mouth to retort, but the Scoutbot had already stomped past him, staring, or possibly glaring, up at Sniper. Its head twitched, but the phrase that came out of its voice box came out loud and clear. " _What is your major malfunction?!_ "

"Now you've gone and made it angry," Engineer grumbled.

"I'm convinced," Sniper deadpanned.

" _Eat my dust!_ " the Scoutbot shouted at him.

"Alroight, that's it." With a grunt, Sniper tossed one leg over, and in one fluid movement he hopped down from the van, landing in a crouch. When he fully stood, he advanced on the Scoutbot, who shrieked and stepped back, and jabbed a finger at its chest.

"I don't care if you're a robot or not, but I'm not gonna just let you come back here, to my proivate spot, and talk to me as if you've got every roight to be here. So I suggest you turn around roight now before you end up with a hole between your eyes."

Engineer stepped up. "Now I don't know where you get of talkin' to it like that-"

"Quoite quick to defend the robot, aren't we?" the bushman commented with a crooked, sarcastic grin.

When Engineer next spoke, his voice was dangerously low; the Scoutbot wisely stepped back. "Son, what're you tryin' to imply?"

Sniper knew that he'd crossed a line with his teammate, but at that point he couldn't be bothered to care. "I'm not implying anything. I just foind it funny how ready a RED is to-"

Luckily for the marksman, he wasn't able to finish that sentence, as the carrier alarm had gone off, startling all three of them. Muttering a curse under his breath, Engineer rushed back around the corner, closely followed by Sniper, their argument temporarily forgotten. The Scoutbot was the last to follow, giving a short, metallic screech. It nearly slammed into the wall when it made the turn.

It did, however, run right into the sliding door, as it refused to automatically open for it. The robot stumbled and fell back with a startled cry. Glancing behind itself, it scrambled back to its feet. It approached the door again, this time stopping just before it. When it still wouldn't open, the Scoutbot resorted to repeatedly slamming its palms against it, rapidly swiveling its head back and forth. Finally the door slid open, and the Scoutbot was pulled in by its flesh-and-blood counterpart.

"Da hell were ya doin' out dere, Bucket-o-bolts?"

"MAGGOT!" Soldier bellowed. "Why are you letting that robot into our base?!"

"'Cuz it's _our_ robot, dumbass," Scout replied, dashing to the counter and grabbing spare ammo clips for his pistol.

"It's still vun of Gray Mann's robots," Medic threw in his two cents as he attached a solution solidifier to the nozzle of his Quick Fix. "I say it belongs out zhere vith zhe rest of zhem."

"It ain't done none of us any harm," Engineer argued as he made the final tweaks to his Teleporter. "In fact, I'd say it's helped us quite a bit. It left one less bomb for us to worry about."

A lot of the team gave collective huffs or eye rolls. Pyro gave the robot a thumbs-up.

"Okay, Scoutbot," Engineer said, grabbing the robot's attention. "I want you to go into my workshop, and stay there. Don't come out until we're back. Idle if you have to. Just whatever you do, don't touch nothin', and _don't go outside._ Ya got that?" The Scoutbot gave a huff of static, but it nodded. "Good. We'll get back when we get back."

The Scoutbot watched as everyone ran outside, the door slamming shut after them. Even after that, it peeked through the narrow window to watch them as they got into position. Scout and Pyro disappeared when they went around the center building to the front lines, Medic and Soldier soaring over to meet them a moment later. Sniper roosted on top of the building, setting his jars, currently empty, off to the side. Engineer left him a disposable Sentry, then moved further up to build his Dispenser and Sentry elsewhere. He wouldn't nest by the hatch until the tanks showed up.

The Scoutbot stepped away from the window. It had agreed to wait in Engineer's workshop, so that's where it went. It knew the way; it had had a lot of time to explore the building during the previous battle.

Once there, it sat down on the stool it had essentially claimed as its own. It remembered how long the previous wait was, and knew that it would quickly run out of power if it didn't idle. So idle it did, and it waited...

* * *

 **BLU Sniper is not quite as polite or professional as he pretends to be, but he's definitely got a plan to kill everyone he meets. At least RED Sniper is just moody rather than a perpetual downer. In my little universe, all of the REDs and BLUs have little differences, but I'm not getting into that unless you want me to, because that would leave you a very lengthy AN. So here's a little Pyro-ese for you.**

 **"Oh, Engie. You haven't stopped by in a while."**

 **"You brought the Scoutbot? Engie, what's this about?"**

 **"Okay."**

 **"Nice to meet you."**

 **"So, have you met the others yet?"**

 **"Medic. He's such a weirdo."**

 **"Hold on. Can you understand me?"**

 **"Sorry. No one's ever understood me so quickly before."**

 **"Scout? What did you think? Has he managed to annoy the crap out of you yet?"**

 **"Er, what's that supposed to mean?"**

 **"Really? Well, I know tons of games. Maybe I could teach you sometime."**

 **"Oh no. Good luck with that one."**

 **"It's hard to tell with him. Just be careful."**

 **"Thanks for stopping by!"**

 **The next chapter will be almost entirely from the Scoutbot's perspective, so you can learn how it processes things, and exactly how deep that currently goes. Hopefully it will be easier to understand it. I'm trying so hard not to Gary Stu it, guys, and it's already a rock paper scissors master who can perfectly understand Pyro and basically get Engie to treat it like a son. 0-0 Well, Engie's kind of a robo-nut anyway, so there's that.**

 **Stay tuned for the next chapter. I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!**


	5. Audacity

**I really shouldn't be updating this right now. I haven't even started writing chapter six because my fanfic notebook is full (mostly of unfinished OFF and Blue Exorcist fics) and I need to find a new one.**

 **Lots of Scoutbot in this one, with a side of goofiness as well as a healthy serving of tension. You'll see.**

* * *

 _..._

 _Prolonged idle, 24 hours._

 _Restarting..._

 _Power capacity: 30 percent..._

 _...50 percent..._

 _...70 percent..._

 _...90 percent..._

 _...full capacity reached._

 _Current orders: Deliver the bomb; stay in the workshop._

 _Error: Contradiction found._

 _Refresh?_

In those first moments coming out of idle, the Scoutbot was stuck. It was receiving two separate orders, and it couldn't act on one without neglecting the other. Normally, it would discard the oldest, but these were being sent at the same time. How was that possible?

 _Refresh?_

 _Yes._

 _Refreshing..._

 _...Wait._

Now it remembered. Engineer had told it to stay in the workshop while he and the others fought. It's always had the order to deliver the bomb. But without the bomb, it couldn't do that. So staying in the workshop it was.

Plus, the Scoutbot didn't want to deliver any bombs. Engineer seemed nice, and so did Scout and Pyro. Medic and Sniper? Not so much. But Engineer had said they'd come around, so the robot trusted that they would.

For a while, the Scoutbot spent its time looking at the various objects in Engineer's workshop, mostly scrap metal and discarded projects. However, it didn't take long for its processes to shift. It could only really be described as someone telling it to do something. It was an idea that certainly didn't belong. Engineer had said that it must feel; perhaps that was it. A feeling. Something that it knew it shouldn't have, but then again, there were many things showing up in its programming that it was sure weren't supposed to be there.

The feeling refused to be ignored, meaning that the Scoutbot had to do _something._ But what was a robot to do on its own? It had already explored last time it was left alone, and there was no one around to play rock paper scissors with. Maybe it could play baseball? It knew what it was-it was an integral part of Scout, and thus an integral part of the Scoutbot's programming-but it had never played it before. Could you play it by yourself?

Maybe. But what did you need to play baseball? A baseball, obviously, but you also needed... a bat.

...The Scoutbot did not have a bat. But it knew where to find one.

Therein lied a problem. It couldn't retrieve its bat without leaving the workshop, and then it would have to run through a battlefield that had hundreds of Scoutbots nearly identical to it. Nearly being because most of them were of a newer model. Regardless, most of the mercenaries likely wouldn't be able to tell the difference, so it still wasn't safe to go out there.

But the Scoutbot needed to get to its bat. It was possible that there was an area outside of the ghost town that it had access to so that it could reach its bat safely. If there was an area behind the building, then maybe there were other places where it could-

 _New order received: Keep the enemy in Respawn until a bomb arrives._

Oh. That meant that there were no bombs readily accessible, so the robots had no choice but to harass the mercs. Unfortunately, that made things a lot more difficult for the Scoutbot. The mercenaries would cycle through Respawn at regular intervals, and that meant that at all times at least one of them would be in the room, so there was no way the Scoutbot could leave through there without being seen. Did the base have another exit somewhere?

Yes, it did, the robot remembered. The other day it had come across a barricaded door with a glowing neon EXIT sign above it. If its sense of direction was to be trusted, the door would lead it to the side of the building. Perfect.

Plan in CPU, the Scoutbot got up from its seat, making its way towards the office door. The knob turned easily, and the robot found itself in the hallway.

 _Warning: All orders have been ignored or unfulfilled. New course of action prompted._

Big deal. It wasn't the first time it had disobeyed orders.

Making a left turn, the Scoutbot moved at its usual urgent pace in its search for the exit. Considering the size of the place, it only took a minute or so to find the blaring EXIT sign. Like it remembered, it was boarded up and covered in... police tape, for some reason. This was definitely the right door.

While time-consuming, the boards were relatively easy to pry off. However, when the Scoutbot tried the handle, it found the door to be locked. Thankfully, it was an old lock, and easily gave in with a hard shove. The Scoutbot was outside, and the sound of gunfire became a lot more prominent.

Along the edge of the base was a chain-link fence topped with barbed wire, which surrounded the entirety of the battlefield. The Scoutbot was on the other side, which contained nothing but miles of gray dirt and dusty tombstones.

The Scoutbot trotted alongside the fence, glancing out between the gaps. Mostly, it saw the backs of the rickety wooden buildings, but sometimes it caught a glimpse of the battle raging on the other side. Giant Heavybots, Demoknights, and Soldierbots alike were instantly Jarate'd, then mowed down by fire, rockets, and Sentry bullets. It seemed as if the robots were up against a nearly impenetrable defense.

The rest of the trip was rather short, as the Scoutbot quickly came across the corner where its bat was located. The Scoutbot could see it from the other side of the fence!

...The fence. The robot hadn't thought of that. How was it going to get over there, exactly? The Scoutbot could feel its processing unit start to overheat as it considered the possibilities. It couldn't jump like Scout could. It was also sure it couldn't break the fence to get through. But what did that leave?

Then, it had what a human might call a memory, although it wasn't the Scoutbot's. When it had been programmed, it had been fed a series of video and audio files, all of which were in some way or another related to Scout. The one its computer brought forth was a propaganda video for the RED team, one of the RED Scout dominating a BLU Heavy. When the Scoutbot paid attention to their fight, it noticed several odd behaviors performed by the Scout, including choking the larger man with his bat, and climbing onto an abandoned freight car and leaping down to the Heavy below.

Oh. So that's what an idea was.

The Scoutbot jumped as high as it could-about two feet-and grabbed the highest links it could reach. The fence sagged under the robot's weight. Its feet scrambled for a hold, until it managed to wedge the tip of one through a link. The Scoutbot hung there for a moment, then slowly crawled its way up, paying no mind to the barbed wire at the top. Once there, it swung a leg over so that it dangled on the other side. It let itself drop the rest of the way down, landing with a solid _clank._

It was really starting to like this whole thinking thing.

The Scoutbot knelt down and picked up its bat, taking a moment to quietly stare at it. With this, it could play baseball, and its boredom would go away.

Just as it was turning to climb back over the fence, however, a swarm of Huntsman Sniperbots ran by, and many of them took a detour around the corner the Scoutbot was currently trying to escape from. They didn't pay it any mind, so it went ahead and latched onto the fence. It froze when it heard the death cries of several of the Sniperbots.

Amidst the crowd, Scout jumped, whooping and pumping buckshot at any robot that happened to be too close. They attempted to rain a hail of arrows down on him, but the runner turned his body in midair, dodging every last arrow, and bashed one Sniperbot's head in as he landed. After he had massacred the entire group, he was going to simply grab the dropped money and run, but he saw the Scoutbot out of the corner of his eye and turned his head, confused.

 _Alert: Enemy sighted. Take offensive action._

The Scoutbot clambered over the fence, landing ungracefully on the other side, and ran.

"Shit," Scout spat, flipping his mic down. "Guys, a Scoutbot just got out, and it's runnin' right for da base!"

"Well, git on after it!" Engineer shouted back from the headset. "This wave's almost over, we've got things covered here. Just stop that robot!"

Scout jumped up onto the small building, then launched himself over the fence, landing in a sprint. He pulled out his pistol and fired, but he was too far behind to aim properly.

The Scoutbot was terrified. Now the entire team was going to be after it, and all because it wanted its stupid bat. Scout couldn't hit it from where he was, but the runner was faster, and quickly gaining. It wouldn't be long before he'd catch up, and then the Scoutbot would be destroyed.

The Scoutbot sharply turned into the base, hearing another curse from Scout. Even though it knew it was pointless, it made a mad dash for what it considered to be the safest place in the entire base: Engineer's workshop. Once inside, it turned to face the oncoming mercenary, or rather _mercenaries._

Apparently the battle had ended, for all six men were trying to cram through the narrow doorway, brandishing their melee weapons. All assuming that it was just a case of a runaway robot, none of them gave a moment's thought to the robot they were about to destroy.

None, of course, but one.

When Engineer first heard that a Scoutbot had jumped the fence, he didn't think much of it, either. But then it hit him that a robot had _jumped the fence._ None of the robots had even acknowledged that there _was_ a fence, let alone thought to climb over it. That suggested a higher level of intelligence, and that made the Texan very suspicious.

Because of this, Engineer, after instructing everyone to use their melee weapons (he didn't want everything in his workshop to get damaged after Scout informed him of the Scoutbot's location), made sure he was at the front of the group, and it was because of this that he was able to prevent the mercenaries' advance.

The Scoutbot was gripping its bat tightly, but not aggressively; it clutched the weapon close against its chest. The Scoutbot was as far from the doorway as possible, its back pressed against a relatively bare spot on the wall. It was shaking violently, and its eyes flickered so wildly that small sparks could be seen flying out of the sockets. Its shoulders were hunched as high, and its head ducked as low, as it could manage. Even as the robot shook so hard it rightfully should have fallen apart, it managed to stare right at Engineer.

"Son of a..." he murmured. He lowered his weapon slightly, but not completely. "Scoutbot, that's you, ain't it..." It sunk even lower, confirming his suspicions. "Son, ya better have a perfectly good explanation-"

"See?! _See?!_ " Soldier suddenly bellowed. The Scoutbot's head snapped up. "I've told you all that this robot scum would kill us all, and now you see?! It has armed itself! THIS IS WAR, BOYS!"

"I have to agree vith Soldier," Medic said with a snarl. "Vhy vould it retrieve its veapon unless it in fact intended to kill us?"

When the Scoutbot started violently shaking its head, Engineer tried to get a word in edgewise, but Sniper beat him to it. "I say we blow its head off before it can do any real harm."

Pyro mumbled something and made a placating gesture, but Soldier seemed to take it as a sign of encouragement. With a roar, he charged, raising his shovel and attempting to shoulder his way past Engineer.

" _DON'T..._ "

Soldier paused, and it was just enough for Engineer to put an arm out in front of him, blocking his way. All eyes were on the Scoutbot, whose head was starting to smoke as it tried to find the words to say what it wanted to say.

 _Ya know? Da ones dat don't go for a guy like me._ "...Don't..."

 _You're a disgrace to da uniform, pal!_ "...dis..."

 _Come on, man!_ "...mmm-m-man..."

 _Ya never played dis before, and you're already better'n me!_ "...ter'n me..."

For a long time, no one spoke, but the Scoutbot continued to repeat the short sentence, almost like a mantra. "Don't... dis... man... ter'n me... Don't... dis... man... ter'n me... D-D-Don't... dis... _man..._ ter'n me..." Engineer gasped.

 _Don't dismantle me._

Slowly, the Texan walked forward, and the Scoutbot flinched away, silencing immediately. Engineer paused, then after a moment of thought, placed the wrench back at his belt. He reached forward, and gently wrapped his fingers around the bat. He lightly pulled it away, and was met with no resistance. "This stays behind the counter," he told the robot, leaving just long enough to set the weapon down where he said it would be before swiftly returning. No one had moved.

"Men," Engineer said, turning back to the rest of the team, whose gazes were still transfixed on the terrified robot. "Head on outside. I'll be there in a jiffy." Unable to find a good argument, everyone, including Soldier, silently walked back out. There were still more waves to fight.

Engineer turned back to the Scoutbot, who had just about sunk to the floor. "You..." The robot blinked a few times, and the Texan sighed. "We'll talk later." That was all he said, and he left, shutting the door behind him. There was an audible _click,_ and the Scoutbot heard Engineer's receding footsteps. Then silence.

The Scoutbot let out a shaky almost-sigh. It had gotten its bat back, for the most part, and while it was definitely going to be in trouble when Engineer got back, it was fairly sure it wasn't going to get dismantled. And that was perfectly okay.

It had found a new way to speak, which it was sure had helped it in the end. But it was difficult, as it had had to fit bits and pieces of existing files together, and that took time and data. It worked, but it didn't feel right; it was so tiring.

The Scoutbot sat on its seat and switched into idle mode once again. It was a lot lower on energy than it normally would be, and there was still quite a wait to go. If Engineer was in a good mood when he got back, maybe it would ask for more fuel. As long as he didn't make Medic get it, that was.

* * *

 **It seems like poor Engie is doomed to forever be interrupted by his teammates.**

 **So I give to you the longest EM chapter to date, and I have no idea what's happening next! :D A talk with Engie seems to be in the near future, and whether or not the Scoutbot will behave itself in future chapters remains to be seen. The most likely answer is no, but that really depends on what and how it learns.**

 **If you usually skip ANs, please read this one paragraph, because I need help. I feel like this story would do better animated, as I animate way better than I write. I'd still be writing the story, of course. I'd just animate if I didn't have my sketchbook, and write if I didn't have computer access. I don't have SFM, but I do have Poser 11. Does anyone know how I can import the TF2 models into the program? Or would it be easier if I just Flash-animated it? I feel like a 3D animation would make for a better atmosphere.**

 **As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. ;) Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for chapter six!**


	6. Communicability

**Welcome back, everyone. I'm glad you all liked the last chapter.**

 **This is definitely the longest chapter thus far. I was going to split it into two when I was writing it, but then the parts would have been way too short. I like typing longer chapters. :)**

 **Now, who's ready for some bonding?**

* * *

Apparently Gray Mann was feeling generous, because the mercenaries had only a few more waves after that incident. Because of that, the team was able to return later that night. As they headed inside, hungry and exhausted, they hoped the man would be either nice enough or busy enough to give them time to eat a decent meal and get a good night's sleep.

Sniper never went inside; he headed straight for his camper van without a word to the rest of the team. Medic and Soldier arrived together. Medic went straight for his room, while Soldier took a detour through the kitchen to grab some ribs before following him down the hallway to his own room. Pyro came a little later, disappointed after a failed search for a friend for the Scoutbot, and trudged to his room. Scout slid into the kitchen, pulling out a tub of chicken and a caffeine-free Bonk! (he didn't want a repeat of what happened in '69) and taking a seat at the table. Engineer came in last, grabbing a sandwich and a beer before also sitting down.

"Dat was pretty fuckin' crazy, huh?" Scout asked, lazily gesturing with and spilling his impossible drink. In normal Scout fashion, he seemed intent on breaking any potential silence before it could begin. "I mean, da Scoutbot freakin' talked. Like, _really_ talked. Even doh it sounded all messed up. But I don't think I've eva said 'don't dismantle me.' I mean, have I?"

"I just don't understand it," Engineer sighed, giving up on eating in peace and quiet. "I'm as surprised by all this as you are. It doesn't make any sense. Why don't the others act like this?"

"I dunno, Hardhat," Scout replied. "You're da Engineer, not me. Haven't ya dissected da thing yet or what?"

"I just... I cain't seem to bring myself to do it," the Texan answered, running both hands underneath his hat. "It just acts too... human. I know it's somethin' I gotta do if we wanna win this war, but... it wouldn't feel right."

"Den I dunno whatta tell ya, man," Scout solemnly said. He was quiet for a moment. "I don't want it to get torn up, eider. It seems cool."

"Heh, it sure does, don't it?" Engineer chuckled. "But it does bother me that it went out of its way to get its bat. That brought up a lot of questions, and I ain't sure we're gonna like the answers."

"And if we don't," Scout cautiously asked, "are ya gonna kill it?"

"That depends on the Scoutbot," the Texan answered, biting into his sandwich. "Hopefully I won't have to. Before I do anythin', though, I gotta get somethin' in me."

The two continued eating, talking, bickering, and even gossiping about whatever came to mind. It was a nice little break from the war.

For being the fastest member of the team, Scout was a remarkably slow eater, and still had a few wings and thighs to go when Engineer stood up, carrying his empty plate to the sink. He sighed. He had a rebellious robot to deal with.

"Tell it hi for me, will ya, man?" Scout asked as Engineer grabbed his half-finished beer.

"I'll be sure to do that," the Texan replied, and with a quick nod, he left the room.

When Engineer tried to open the workshop door, he was surprised to find it locked. But then he remembered that he'd locked it to keep the Scoutbot inside. As he fished for the small key ring, he silently hoped that the robot didn't do anything to his office. It had proven itself to be pretty crafty, but surely it didn't know how to pick locks? Or dig holes through concrete?

When he opened the door, the Scoutbot was sitting on its stool, humming lightly in its idle mode. Nothing seemed out of place, so the Texan allowed himself a sigh of relief.

The small noise brought the Scoutbot to attention. Its eyes blinked on immediately and it tried to shy away, but as its motor hadn't yet warmed up, the movement was incredibly jerky, nearly causing the robot to fall over.

"D-D-Don't... dis... man-man-man... ter'n meee _eee,_ " it said weakly.

"I ain't gonna do that to ya," Engineer told it quietly. Its eyes flickered. In confusion or acceptance, Engineer didn't know. "Providin' you have a good explanation for what you did, that is. Why did you retrieve your weapon?"

The Scoutbot was silent for a long time, occasionally blinking or making a fizzling sound. After a few minutes, it finally said, "Baseball?" Even though the recording was spoken with a rising intonation, Engineer understood that it was intended as a statement, not a question.

"Baseball?" he repeated. "In the middle of a war?" The robot nodded. "...Why?"

Engineer could actually hear the Scoutbot's processors whirring as it tried to formulate a response. The Texan thought that perhaps it didn't have a response to give. Even if it did, would it be able to communicate it with such a limited vocabulary?

Apparently that wouldn't stop it from trying. "MMMove up-up-u-... Move. _Fshhh_ -Move."

"I'm afraid I don't know what ya mean by that."

The Scoutbot let loose one of Scout's famous scoffs. How was it going to explain itself? Did it have a recording it could use? There, maybe that one would work?

 _Alright, I feel good._ "...Feel. _Kshhh_... Feel... move."

Engineer raised a brow questioningly. "Ya felt like movin'?" he ventured. After a short lapse into static, the Scoutbot nodded. "Did ya get bored?" It mimicked a shrug. Engineer sighed again and took a swig of his beer. "While I'm glad you meant no ill intent, that don't excuse you from what you did." It flinched. "I told you to stay inside, but you didn't do that. If you'd just waited, I coulda gotten it for you. This time you get a warnin', but you better not do it again. You understand me?"

The Scoutbot shrank back in its seat and gave an odd hiss, but it eventually gave a slow nod.

"Good." Engineer thought for a moment. "Are ya low on energy again? Ya seem a mite twitchy."

The Scoutbot nodded, then added, "Doc! Ya doichebag!"

"What?" Then he remembered that Medic had been the one to get the money last time. "Ya don't want the doc gettin' it for ya again, do you?" The robot quickly shook its head, sparking slightly. "I s'pose I wouldn't either, after the way he's been treatin' ya. But like I said, he'll come around. Now I'll be right back. You stay here." When he left, the Scoutbot noticed that the door wasn't locked.

While he was out, Engineer discarded his empty bottle. He returned after grabbing a handful of cash, and chuckled lightly when he saw that the Scoutbot hadn't even budged. He opened the hatch in its back, and noted that there was barely more than a small pile of burnt paper and ash.

He let out a low whistle. "Not very energy-efficient, are ya?" He was met with silence, of course. "We might have to do somethin' about that in the future." The Scoutbot craned its head back to look at him.

Engineer added the credits to the pile and closed the hatch. The Scoutbot blinked and booped. "Thanks, Hardhat," it said.

"Not a problem," the Texan replied. "Now, didn't you say ya wanted to play baseball?" The Scoutbot eagerly nodded, earning it a light chuckle. "Hate to say I cain't play to save my life, but Scout sure can. Knowin' him, he's probably still awake. Maybe you should go see if he'd be interested in playin'. He's in the kitchen, last I saw."

The Scoutbot stepped up to the doorway, but before going through, it stepped backwards. Then forwards, and back again. It looked like it was performing some odd dance. "Come on, man!" it called.

"Sorry, Scoutbot," said Engineer, "but I'm beat. I really wish I had that boy's endless energy. You go on ahead without me. I'm headin' off to my room to get some shuteye."

After Engineer left, the Scoutbot gave a sort of sigh. It really did want to play baseball, though, so it headed to the Respawn Room to grab its bat.

(...)

Scout was just leaving the kitchen when he nearly bumped into his robot counterpart.

"Aw, jeeze!" he exclaimed. "You scared da crap outta me!"

The Scoutbot respectfully took a few paces back, then asked, "...Baseball?"

"Baseball? Whaddya mean base-" he then noticed the bat in the robot's right hand, the blunt end nearly touching the ground. "...Uh, are you s'posed to have dat?"

The Scoutbot nodded, then in a voice uncannily like the Engineer's, said, "Hate to say I cain't play to save my life, but Scout sure can. Knowin' him, he's probably still awake. Maybe you should go see if he'd be interested in playin'."

Scout hesitated. "Dat sounds _really_ weird comin' outta you, man."

The Scoutbot bowed its head and hurriedly deleted the recording.

"Well, if Hardhat said it was okay, den sure, let's go to da back and play some ball!" Scout happily exclaimed, and the Scoutbot clapped its hands together much like Pyro, letting out a loud, "WOO-hoo-hoo!"

"Wait here for a sec," Scout said, grinning. "I gotta go get my glove and ball." The runner dashed off at speeds that were only possible for him to attain, and the Scoutbot waited, doing its strange, impatient little dance. True to his word, Scout was back in moments, a dirty old baseball clasped in a worn glove. "All right," he said, "follow me!"

The two Scouts took the same route that led to Sniper's van, and then went past the vehicle a ways. "Snipes'd hate it if we dented his van," the human Scout explained. Soon they came to a bare and relatively flat spot of land, and Scout started dragging his foot through the gray dirt. He made a large diamond, drawing small squares at three of the corners and a pentagon for home plate. Finally, he marked an X in the middle of the diamond for the mound. He directed the Scoutbot to home plate as he himself stood on the makeshift mound.

"You know da drill," he said, using the mitt to hide the ball from view. "Three strikes and you're out. Just try to hit da ball and run to all da bases." The Scoutbot nodded; it knew _that_ much, at least.

Scout wound up tightly and pitched. The Scoutbot shied away from the ball, and it sailed straight past.

"What da hell was dat crap?" Scout grumped. "You're s'posed to hit the ball, not dodge it! It wasn't even gonna hit ya, jeeze!" The robot ducked its head and nodded, while Scout huffed and retrieved the ball.

"Dis time," he said once back on the mound, "at least _try_ to hit it." He pitched again, and this time the Scoutbot hit the ball-by spiking it downwards and swinging repeatedly like it was attacking it. Then it started running to first, bat still in tow.

"Da hell're ya doin'?!" Scout demanded, and the robot stopped. "One, dat was a foul ball, and two, you ain't s'posed to hit it like dat! Look, gimme da bat for a sec!"

After a moment, the Scoutbot trudged over, offering Scout the bat. The runner poised it behind his head, and with a turn of his torso, he swung the bat at empty air. "Dis is how you're s'posed to swing it, ya got dat? Here, take it."

Scout all but shoved the bat into the Scoutbot's arms, nearly causing the robot to fall over. Thankfully, it was able to right itself before it could and, blinking rapidly, walk with the bat back to the plate. Once there, it raised the bat and positioned it behind its head, trying to copy what Scout had done.

From his position on the mound, the Bostonian gave short, impatient instructions. "Don't lean so far over da plate... Well ya don't wanna stand straight up, eider... Keep ya elbows in, dammit... Okay, good, now try swingin'... Seriously, just follow through with-Okay, throwin' da ball now, so ya better hit it!"

Scout raised both arms high over his head. As he lowered them back down, he turned his body to the right, raising his left knee until it was almost touching his chest. Then, in one fluid movement, he swung his leg around and took a large step forward, rolling his wrist as his arm went up and over, causing the ball to sail in a shallow arc. While Scout could pitch a mean fastball (admittedly the only pitch he knew how to throw), he'd forgotten that his opponent was a robot. And if there was one thing robots were excellent at, it was calculation.

The Scoutbot made contact with the ball, resulting in a loud _crack!_ The ball popped almost straight up, and the Scoutbot stared up at it for a moment. Then it made a beeline for first base, more to avoid the falling ball than to actually try to score. As it sprinted for first, Scout ran and positioned himself underneath the ball. He raised his gloved hand and caught it easily before the robot could even make it to first.

" _Yerrr out!_ " Scout called, and the Scoutbot let out a static-filled huff. "Alright, your turn to pitch. Since you're new and all, I guess it's okay if you just throw it. Just make sure to pitch to where I can hit it."

The two met in the middle to exchange gear, which led to a very important question.

"Is my glove even gonna fit ya?" Scout asked. He snatched the Scoutbot's hand, making it shriek, and compared it to his own hand. Its fingers were much bulkier than his, even though they were the same length. It wouldn't fit into the glove. He could tell just by looking. "...Hell, you're a robot. You probably don't need a glove, anyway."

Scout stepped over the plate, while the Scoutbot stood over the mound. As it was told, it threw the baseball the old-fashioned way. Of course, Scout hit it easily, and it soared well over the diamond. Scout ran, not paying any mind to where the ball went...

...until it went crashing through the camper van's window.

Both Scouts flinched and froze, slowly turning to where they heard Sniper's enraged yell. Not a moment later, the marksman was storming over, one hand clutching a bruising temple, until he was only a few feet in front of the pair. If looks could kill, they would have been struck dead where they stood, and then stabbed repeatedly.

Seeing as how the brunt of the look was inflicted upon Scout, the runner pointed an accusing finger at the Scoutbot. It made a garbled noise and angrily pointed right back.

Suddenly Sniper roared, and Scout put himself between him and the robot, trying to grapple the arm that suddenly wielded a huge kukri. The bushman roughly shoved him to the side and charged again, only to be tackled by the runner from behind as he passed. The descending blade just missed the Scoutbot as it jumped back and ran as fast as it could towards the base, leaving Scout alone to try to wrestle the kukri away from the angry Sniper.

The Scoutbot quickly made its way to Engineer's workshop, slamming the door wide open with a loud _bang!_ as it frantically searched for a hiding spot. It ran over to the workbench, shoving aside the scrap metal and torn blueprints beneath it. It hid under the table and tried to dim its lights, but its shaking banged against the underside of the table, clearly giving it away to anyone who entered.

Moments later, Sniper burst in, a bit bruised, thrashing as an equally beat-up Scout still tried to hold him back. Sniper bashed the side of his head with the butt of his knife, sending the smaller man crashing to the floor. When the bushman tried to advance, however, Scout tugged hard on his leg, taking him down as well. Sniper kicked against him and scrambled to his feet. He charged into the room, forcibly pushing anything that was in his way. He dragged the robot from its hiding spot by its leg, kicking and screaming. Baring his crooked teeth, Sniper raised his kukri and-

"WHAT IN TARNATION IS GOIN' ON HERE?!"

All heads snapped to the doorway where Engineer stood, in nothing but his striped PJs, looking very, _very_ pissed off. "And whut the hell happened to mah workshop?!"

At once Scout and Sniper started shouting their sides of the story, trying to make themselves heard over the other. The Scoutbot took the opportunity to squirm out from underneath Sniper and hide behind Engineer- _way_ behind Engineer. The Texan narrowed his eyes as the two mercs started bickering like small children, their voices indistinguishable from one another.

"ENOUGH!" Engineer finally bellowed, his accent thickening in his rare anger. "Snahper, whut happened?!"

As Scout made a disbelieving noise, Sniper shouted, "That bloody robot hit me with a baseball! And it broke my van's window!"

Engineer's head snapped in the robot's direction. "That true?" The Scoutbot shook its head, and its body started quaking.

Engineer whirled on Sniper again, preparing for a furious rant. Scout very wisely stepped out of his way.

"Don't tell me you believe that... that _thing_ over me!" Sniper demanded.

"The Scahtbot has been nuthin' if not honest!" Engineer shouted back. "You seem t' wahnit gone more'n anywun else here! So whah should Ah believe you?!" He turned on Scout then. "Whut do _you_ have t' say for yourself, boy? You've been awfully quiet."

For once, Scout was at a loss for words. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, then guiltily looked down at his feet.

"Out," Engineer demanded quietly. No one moved. "GIT THE HELL OUTTA MAH WORKSHOP BEFORE AH SEND Y'ALL _BOTH_ THROUGH RESPAWN!"

Scout and Sniper hurriedly scrambled out of the room, the marksman with a look of outrage and the runner with one of shame. Engineer slowly turned to the Scoutbot, who had slid down against the hallway wall, its arms raised to chest level in a sign of surrender.

The Texan sighed heavily through his nose. "You _didn't_ hit Sniper or break his window, did you?" The Scoutbot slowly shook its head. "...What about this mess?" This time the robot hesitated, but then it slowly raised a finger and pointed at itself.

"Sniper's... tw-tw-two..." Sniper too, it meant. "Feel... Scary Hat-" It hissed in frustration. "S-S-S-Scar... da. Feel... scar... _ddd_ da." It lowered its head.

Engineer pinched the bridge of his nose, not saying anything for a long time. "...You were scared. I s'pose I cain't fault you for that." He looked at the scattered objects on the ground. "I wasn't usin' any of that, anyway... I'm sorry that had to happen to you."

When the Scoutbot didn't speak again, Engineer had a thought. "I cain't really ask you to stay in here for the night, after all that. So long as you don't touch nothin', you can stay in my room. But only for tonight." The robot quietly nodded, so the two made their way to Engineer's room next door. Engineer opened the door and walked inside, while the Scoutbot warily peeked its head in to look around.

The room was rather plain with its drab concrete walls. The only furniture inside was a bed, a swivel chair, and a small desk with a lamp perched on top. The desk was littered with tiny knobs, bolts, and springs, and the wastebasket to the side was filled to the brim with crumpled balls of paper. In the corner of the room closest to the door was a Mini-Sentry. Alarmed, the Scoutbot started strafing in the hallway.

"Don't mind that," Engineer told it with a laugh. "It ain't active. It's just meant to scare off anyone who gets in the base. I guess it works."

The Scoutbot wasn't quite as amused as Engineer was, but all the same it cautiously walked into the room and sat on the chair, watching the Sentry the entire time.

Once it was inside, Engineer closed the door and locked it. The Scoutbot made sure to note that the door locked from the inside; that made the room a much better hiding spot than the workshop.

Finally, the Texan walked over and shut the lamp off, using the Scoutbot's lights to navigate his way to the bed. "G'night, Scoutbot," he mumbled. In moments, he was snoring soundly. The new noise initially made the Scoutbot nervous, but seeing as the man seemed to be breathing normally despite the odd noise, it left him alone.

Figuring that staying active would be a waste of power at this point, the Scoutbot let itself shut down for the night.

* * *

 **-waits for everyone to hate on Sniper-**

 **Why, dear chapter, did you have to become a Cerebus roller coaster?! Why?! And why is poor Sniper suddenly the Cerebus Knight?!**

 **Tensions rise higher between Sniper and Engineer because of Scout's little lie, the Scoutbot is officially scared of Sniper even more than Medic, and worst of all, Engineer never told it hi for Scout. Terrible, it is.**

 **Please excuse me if I used the wrong baseball terms or description, namely the description of the fastball. I don't even remember how you're supposed to hold it, let alone throw it. Maybe I described a curveball or something...?**

 **Well, this was a doozy to write. I'm not sure how well the sudden mood shift sits in the story right now, but I hope you guys liked it anyway.**

 **So, I still need help with the EM animation. Should I make it on Flash, or is there a way to import the game's models into Poser? If anyone can tell me, it would be a HUGE help.**

 **Thank you guys for all the faves, follows, and reviews. The reception for the last chapter was surprising, and it inspired me to make this sorta-beast of a chapter. Chapter 7 should be up soon. My motivation (somehow) hasn't dried up yet!**


	7. Opportunity

**Hey everyone. Welcome back! I'm surprised no one roasted Sniper, actually. He was a freaking jerk.**

 **This chapter's quite a bit shorter. But hey, this time the Scoutbot gets to meet the dreaded Soldier. Let's see how** ** _this_** **turns out...**

 **Again, thank you guys SOOO much for the feedback on this story. I'm glad you're all liking it so far, and I'll keep updating as quickly as I can. Fair warning, though: updates might slow down pretty soon, because I predict a VERY busy school year. Lots of tougher classes.**

* * *

 _Alert: Outside stimuli detected._

 _Rebooting..._

The Scoutbot jolted into alertness and immediately realized that the world around it was moving. Whether it was being jostled or its visual sensors were acting up, it didn't know.

 _Warning: Fuel hatch open._

 _Recommended action: Seek Medicbot for assistance._

Somebody was messing with the fuel hatch.

The Scoutbot let out a garbled cry, and it heard a startled yell behind it as its hatch was hastily slammed shut, making its body lurch against... the back of the chair. The robot swiveled its head around and saw Engineer, donning his usual uniform, mouth open and hands slightly raised in surprise.

"Scoutbot," he breathed. "I... didn't realize you were active."

The robot simply looked Engineer up and down, silently demanding an explanation.

"Well, y'see," the Texan began, "I'm too busy to build ya a more efficient fuel system, but I thought it'd be a good idea to start on the plans. I was sketchin' out your current fuel system-" here he gestured to the prints on the desk "-so that I understand the connections and avoid messin' somethin' up. I just wanted to do it while you were inactive, since ya ain't really burnin' any fuel in that time. It's a lot safer. Would you have preferred that I asked first?"

After a moment, the Scoutbot shrugged, then turned its head back around. If Engineer wanted to improve its system, then who was it to stop him?

There was a moment of silence before the Texan understood. He laughed a little. "I've already mapped out your fuel system. I can design a new one another time." The Scoutbot shrugged again, then turned its body around so that it was sitting normally.

"So," Engineer went on," I gotta clean up the mess in the workshop. Would ya mind comin' with me? I sure wouldn't mind the company." Instead of answering, the Scoutbot hung its head. "There ain't nothin' to feel bad about. I cain't imagine that ya _liked_ bein' chased around by a man with a knife." Silence. "Look, Soldier's already up, and I'd rather you weren't out there alone with him roamin' about. At least, not until I know he's okay with you."

There was a minute or so where the Scoutbot's processors whirred, and then it quietly nodded. Engineer smiled a little, then strolled out of the room, the robot following close behind.

Now that the moment had passed, the workshop didn't look nearly as bad as Engineer had first thought. There was a short path on the ground leading to the desk where things had been hastily moved over. A couple of small pieces of metal were bent, a few old blueprints torn, but that was the worst of it.

"This won't take too long," the Texan said lightly as he got to work. The entire process took only about ten minutes. All that needed to be done was to put some of the metal in its proper place, and roll up the blueprints and place them somewhere where they weren't in the way.

As soon as he was finished, Engineer stood up and wiped his hands off on his overalls. "Now that that's outta the way, I can go make me some breakfast. If he's in there, it might be a good opportunity for you to meet Soldier. Heaven knows you've been here long enough."

Engineer and the Scoutbot left the workshop and headed for the kitchen, but the robot hung back a bit. It was admittedly scared at the idea of meeting Soldier. It had already been introduced to Sniper and Medic. The doctor was distrustful at best, and incredibly bitter at worst. The bushman was... a very angry man, to put it lightly. And yet Soldier was the one that Engineer was worried about. If _he_ was worried, then the Scoutbot wasn't entirely sure that it would survive this encounter.

When they reached the dining area, Soldier was enjoying a breakfast steak and raw egg smoothie after his rigorous morning training regimen. His helmet was resting on the table, which surprised the Scoutbot somewhat; it had thought that the helmet was a part of the military man's body. Unfortunately, that made it easy for the man to notice the robot peeking out from behind Engineer.

"LOOK OUT, PRIVATE!" he bellowed, leaping onto and over the table and pushing Engineer aside to advance on the terrified Scoutbot. Thankfully, the Texan was expecting a reaction like this, so he was able to put himself back in between the robot and Soldier, grabbing the man by the shoulders.

"It's okay, Soldier," Engineer bit out. "It ain't gonna hurt us."

"But," Soldier stammered. "But it had a weapon! And it was right behind you!"

"Does it _look_ like it's armed?" Engineer asked. He refused to move, letting Soldier crane his neck over his shoulder to look at the robot that had taken several steps back. Its shoulders were hunched, its eyes occasionally blinking. Under the American's startlingly intense gaze, it averted its eyes downwards, slowly raising both of its hands, palms out.

Engineer went on, "Can you look at it and tell me that it plans to attack us? Any of us?"

Soldier looked at the Scoutbot, then at Engineer, then at the Scoutbot again. A moment later, he scowled, pointing two fingers at his own eyes before jabbing them in the robot's direction. When he gave no indication of attacking, the Texan finally stepped to the side, beckoning the Scoutbot closer. It did so with clear anxiety, keeping its eyes trained on Soldier.

"Soldier, I'd like you to meet the Scoutbot," said Engineer. "Scoutbot, this is Soldier. I do hope y'all both get along."

The military man maintained his sneer, but the Scoutbot edged closer, taking small, sideways steps. When it was within a foot of the man, it glanced him up and down. Then, it offered a hand.

It was Soldier's turn to study the Scoutbot. It was obviously cowering under his gaze, shrinking in on itself as he watched. Despite that, it kept its hand outstretched. In his mind, that was the sign of a man with some dignity.

With a grin, Soldier gripped the Scoutbot's hand in both of his own, shaking it so hard the robot's body jerked, and it gave an alarmed squeal. "Welcome aboard, recruit!" Soldier boomed. Engineer was left blinking in astonishment. That had gone a lot better than he expected. But you wouldn't catch him complaining.

Soldier turned back to the table to continue eating, and Engineer took the opportunity to whisper to the Scoutbot. "Whatever he says, just go with it." The robot quickly nodded. After grabbing some eggs and pre-packaged bacon from the fridge, the Texan pulled out a skillet and got to work cooking his favorite breakfast.

The Scoutbot watched as the food hissed and sizzled, sometimes making small, unintelligible noises. The food was soon done, and Engineer slapped it all onto a plate before taking a seat at the table. After a quick glance in Soldier's direction, the Scoutbot did the same.

"So," Soldier bellowed, making the robot jump and bump the table, "as a fellow American, do you also enjoy a good steak?"

A little baffled by the question, the Scoutbot looked to Engineer for help. The man gave it a single nod and returned to his bacon. So, even though it was impossible by design, the Scoutbot turned back to Soldier and nodded, affirming that it did, indeed, like steak.

"Good," said the American. "True men live entirely on meat. There's no vegetarians in _this_ country, rookie."

Throughout breakfast, Soldier continued to ask difficult questions that the Scoutbot had no real way to answer, but the robot tried to get by with gestures and one-word answers, with Engineer giving aid any time it was needed. But finally the American finished his steak and downed his eggs, hastily throwing his plate into the sink and hurrying off to practice firing his rocket launcher at sand bags. Once he was gone, the Scoutbot let out a low hiss of static that was probably supposed to be a sigh.

"I know, he can be quite a handful," Engineer said, taking the time to actually rinse off his plate. "More than anythin', I'm just glad he took to ya. Now all I worry about is that he might yell at ya quite a bit. But you don't have to worry about him doin' anythin' to ya any more."

The Scoutbot gave a thumbs-up, and Engineer laughed.

"You're learnin' quick, ain't ya? I sure am glad we got this break. There's still a lot to learn."

(...)

Gray Mann sat in his office, going over the footage of the day before. Or rather, he watched the same minute or so of the day's third wave. Much like the Administrator, he had a full view of the entire battlefield from all angles, and one of the cameras had caught something interesting.

Gray's eyes narrowed when he saw a Scoutbot that didn't act like the others. It appeared out of seemingly nowhere, while there wasn't supposed to be any Scoutbots in the field, grabbed a dropped bat, and climbed over a fence, which was probably how it had gotten in undetected. None of those things were skills or actions that had been programmed into it.

Gray knew exactly which robot it was.

Months ago, when he had been creating the first of his machines, he hadn't yet programmed a hailing mechanic, which left the robots with a much higher reasoning ability than other robots. They were fewer in number, but their intellect more than made up for it, allowing them to prioritize targets, lead shots, and even identify Spies in some cases.

As expected, most of the robots were destroyed in battle. Others questioned their Maker's morality, even sometimes outright rebelling against him; these machines were dismantled and melted down. A select few remained loyal despite this, and were sometimes sent on reconnaissance missions and the like. Scoutbot was one of the latter, a willing servant. It knew full well what its master was planning, but it feared what would happen to it if it disobeyed. As such, it was allowed to remain, but it was under Gray's constant watch.

When the Scoutbot had been captured after it had destroyed the bomb, Gray had thought good riddance. He'd thought that the mercenaries wouldn't give a care to the robot's artificial intelligence. But, when he saw the robot slinking around with their Engineer, he was furious. Being the calm and collected man that he was, though, he soon started looking at the situation more logically. The robot wouldn't do much harm; the damn thing was too afraid of everything to do anything too harmful. Gray would give it some time, and while no one would be any the wiser, he would take the robot back.

He had plans for that machine.

* * *

 **Oh, look what I found. Some plot and backstory. And constant anxiety is officially a permanent Scoutbot trait.**

 **There's still a lot of backstory to be revealed, be it in bits and pieces or an eventual oneshot. Probably both. The way this chapter is set up makes it seem like there's a lot of inconsistencies (like, why is the Scoutbot delivering bombs if it's apparently so special?), but I assure you this is fully intentional.**

 **Hope you guys liked this one a lot more than I did! :'D**


	8. Hungry?

**And here we have another chapter, and a little sooner than I expected. My busy time hasn't come yet, and hopefully won't for another month or two. But I can't and won't promise anything, because the moment I do is the moment I'm unable to post anything for _months._ I'm really good at jinxing things.**

 **This chapter is mostly for the feels. I hope you like it!**

* * *

The entire team was awake within a few hours. When lunch time rolled around, they were all on edge. Gray Mann had never given them so much time to themselves, and the silence was quickly winding them up.

"When da hell is dat bastid gonna attack us, huh?" Scout demanded of no one in particular, leaning against the fridge with his Crit-a-Cola in hand. "I'm gettin' freakin' _bored_ ova here!"

"Well, if y'all think about it," said Engineer, the pretty much ever-present Scoutbot at his side, "we've been attacked by quite a few robots over the months. He was bound to run out sooner or later. Maybe he's gotta build more."

"No matter wot's going on, we can't assume that the war's over," Sniper added. "He's not going to give up until every one of us is dead for good. I know _I_ wouldn't."

"So what is our plan, men?" asked Soldier.

"There ain't much we _can_ do," Engineer answered. "We just gotta wait for him to make his move."

"Or. Or or or," Scout rushed, flapping his free hand around, " _or,_ we attack while he don't got his robots to back him up."

"A preemptive strike, you say," Medic hummed thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. "It could just vork."

"Huddah," Pyro agreed.

"Now we have a battle plan," Soldier grinned, "and I am all for it! Men, will you all follow me into glorious battle?!"

"...Nah, we cain't do that," Engineer deadpanned.

"It's a stupid plan," Sniper agreed. "Plans loike that never work outside of the pictures. It'll just get us all killed."

"Huddah," Pyro agreed sadly.

" _...Terrible,_ " the Scoutbot threw in.

"Okay, can somevun tell me vhy zhat zhing is even here?" Medic said exasperatedly. "How do ve know zhat it isn't somehow relaying zhis information to Gray Mann as ve speak?"

"Well, it's a Scoutbot, not a Spybot," Scout replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yrr," said Pyro. "Brrph rrph brrn rrhrr nrrph phr rrbrrhrrn."

"You forget wot it did to _me,_ " Sniper pointed out, gesturing to the very purple bruise that his hat barely covered. Scout coughed anxiously.

"Un-freakin'-believable," the Scoutbot groaned, already nervously inching away from the bushman.

"Why, that little _maggot,_ " Soldier breathed in disbelief.

"How about we discuss that later and focus on the task at hand," Engineer said. The twang in his voice encouraged everyone to drop the matter.

"...Wrr, rrph wrr krrnb brr phrrb," Pyro asked after a pregnant pause, "brrn rrb rr wrr brrm phr brr?"

"It's like I said before," Engineer answered. "We wait for Gray to do somethin'. All _we_ gotta do is keep an eye out. We still don't know what he's plannin'."

"Und vhat about zhe robot?" Medic inquired. "Vhat vill ve do about it? Or, I suppose, vhat vill _you_ do about it?"

The Scoutbot grumbled something at too low of a volume for anyone to pick up on, but Engineer clearly said, "Well, I'll do what I've been doin'. I'll keep teachin' it."

"And wot, exactly, are you going to teach that thing?" Sniper asked, making his contempt for the robot quite clear.

Engineer glanced at the Scoutbot. "Why, whatever it wants, I suppose."

Sniper opened his mouth to make a likely angry retort, but the Scoutbot was stepping back, holding its hands out in a "wait here" gesture. It trotted into the kitchen the next room over, and seconds later a _clink_ and a light spoke of an open fridge. The mercs stared into the room, half with curiosity and the other with suspicion. After about a minute of rummaging, the fridge was shut, and the robot was walking back, a carton of eggs in its hands.

Most of the team looked confused, but Engineer was booming with laughter, making the Scoutbot flinch.

"Ya wanna try your hand at cookin'?" he finally asked once he'd caught his breath. "Well, I don't see why the heck not."

(...)

A few minutes later, Engineer and the Scoutbot were standing in front of the hot stove, the egg carton off to the side. Pyro had insisted on watching, so he was sitting at the table, hands neatly folded in his lap.

"So the first thing you're gonna wanna do," Engineer said, taking an egg out of the carton, "is tap the egg on the edge of the pan, just hard enough to crack the shell." He placed the egg in the Scoutbot's hand, and the first thing it did was hold it far behind its head as if about to throw it. The Texan was immediately reaching for the egg. "Now ya don't wanna do it _that_ hard, son! You'd make a right mess. A few taps is fine."

While Pyro giggled in the background, the Scoutbot edged the egg closer to the skillet, tapping it lightly on the edge. When nothing happened, it did one hard smack, nearly cracking the egg in half and sending one long splash across the pan and stove. The Scoutbot jumped back with a startled huff.

"Don't worry about it," Engineer assured it. "Everyone makes that mistake their first time. Findin' the balance is the hard part. Now, just stick your thumbs in and pull it apart. Over the _pan,_ boy!" He scrambled to move the robot's hands in time, breathing an uneasy chuckle. Thankfully he made it, and the rest of the egg, yolk maimed but otherwise fine, landed with a plop and a sizzle. The Scoutbot made an odd, similarly breathy sound.

"Take this spatula," Engineer told it, handing it the kitchen utensil. "See how the egg is kinda clear? When it turns white, stick that thing under it and flip it over. Careful though. It might stick."

During the few minutes it took for that side of the egg to cook, Pyro had stood up to come and get a better look. "Mrr," he said when the egg looked ready. Engineer guided the Scoutbot's hand and wedged the spatula underneath the egg, gently lifting the edges. He then helped in lifting it and turning it over. It sizzled all over again, and the Scoutbot made another small noise. Pyro simply clapped.

"All ya gotta do now is wait a lil' longer, then get it onto a plate," the Texan said. The Scoutbot nodded, watching the egg intently. A few times, the robot would edge the spatula towards it, and Engineer would quickly say, "Not yet." After a few minutes, though, the robot was allowed to lift the egg, plopping it ungracefully onto the plate set out for it. Pyro cheered and excitedly shook the Scoutbot by the shoulders, eliciting a garbled cry, while Engineer beamed at the perfect egg. As perfect as a dry, misshapen, and perhaps slightly overcooked egg could be, anyway.

"For a first try, that ain't a bad egg," he said, turning his smile to the Scoutbot. It stood there helplessly as Pyro wholeheartedly clung to it.

"We got 'em, we got 'em," it said, blinking.

Engineer almost said something to Pyro about making the Scoutbot nervous again, but before he could, the warning alarm went off, and with it came an almost unexpected sense of relief. The Texan had almost thought that there would be no more battles. He could hear Scout loudly saying as such, increasing and decreasing in volume as he dashed past, down the hallway. Pyro "huddah'd" and released the Scoutbot, following the young mercenary. Engineer didn't leave just yet.

"I want you to stay in my workshop, just like before," he said. "For your own sake, _please_ don't do what you did last time." He stopped just long enough to see the robot nod before making his own way to the counter. After a few minutes, the Scoutbot could hear the Respawn door slide open and shut, and moments later, the first sounds of explosions and gunfire.

The robot definitely didn't want what happened last time to happen again, so it went straight to the workshop like it was asked and idled, somewhat amazed that it hadn't been locked inside.

Of course, due to its programming, the Scoutbot would "wake up" every twenty-four hours. In order to conserve energy, it would idle again, and the process would repeat itself. After a few of these cycles, as the robot powered up once more, it realized that the status of its orders was "temporarily disabled." That meant that the battle was over for now, which in turn meant that the mercenaries would be returning soon.

The Scoutbot knew that the smartest and safest thing to do would be to wait for someone to come to retrieve it, but it found itself overcome with boredom once more. This time, though, it wasn't a boredom that held any of the urgency it did previously. The robot could choose to do something, or it could choose not to.

Against its better judgement, the Scoutbot felt compelled to take action. For the most part, the team had taken good care of it, especially Engineer, and it found itself wanting to take care of them somehow, too. And now, it had a means to do so, so that's what it was going to do. Except maybe for Scout. He lied, and the Scoutbot didn't like that; it almost shorted out just thinking about it. If something went wrong, it was going to Scout.

With that in mind, the Scoutbot headed for the kitchen.

(...)

The mercenaries were putting their weapons away, completely spent, when the sounds of clinking and clanging reached their ears. Immediately alarmed, they summoned their various weapons once more and charged towards the source of the noise. When they saw what was causing the racket, they almost attacked on instinct, but they all managed to check themselves.

The Scoutbot was just putting the last egg on a plate, joining five others. It had managed to massacre an egg or two, apparently, as one large streak of goop ran down the front of the oven, pooling on the floor.

Upon hearing the angry shouts and heavy footfalls coming down the hallway, the Scoutbot jumped and screeched, nearly launching an egg as it did so. It stared at the mercs, stunned, for some time. When none of them tried to kill it, the robot slowly carried the newest plate to Soldier, who was too surprised to do anything but accept. It handed the next egg to Medic, then cautiously gave another to Sniper. He didn't pull a knife on the robot, so it more confidently gave a plate to Pyro. The next went to Engineer, who got _two_ eggs on his plate. Scout got a badly burnt egg, as well as a long, uncomfortable stare from the Scoutbot. All that done, the robot slunk back to the workshop, head low.

While the Scoutbot evidently hadn't listened to him, Engineer couldn't honestly say that the robot was in the wrong. It probably thought that it had done something terrible, the poor thing, but the Texan was actually quite touched. He was also both glad and surprised that Scout was the only one complaining. Even Sniper and Medic didn't have anything witty to say.

Engineer glanced at the filthy oven and counter and sighed. Looks like he'd have to make a call to Miss Pauling and order some more eggs.

He'd also have to teach the Scoutbot how to turn _off_ the stove.

* * *

 **Introducing Scoutbot, robot housewife.**

 **So, I guess the Scoutbot likes cooking now? It was a totally unplanned event, too. Good thing I made it watch Engie cook, or else I'd be stumped on what to do next. Originally, though, Pyro was going to steal the Scoutbot's first egg and eat it in his room, but I thought, "Nah."**

 **Pyro-ese Corner!**

 **"Yeah. Plus it's been really nice to everyone."**

 **"Well, if we can't do that, then what are we going to do?"**

 **"Now."**

 **I guess Pyro wasn't that talkative today.**

 **Now to be stumped for the next chapter! -sarcastic cheer- I'll get it up as soon as I can.**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed! Don't forget to tell me what you think! :)**


	9. Apology

**Welcome back everyone! I bring you a probably average-sized chapter!**

 **I hear that some Sakana fans were told to read this, so hello to you. Also, I apologize about Little J. You know what for. XD**

 **Right now, I'm working on an official cover image for this story, as well as a few flipnotes to get the hang of drawing the Scoutbot and Engineer. (Engie, why is your entire head so hard?!") Some are serious, some aren't, but either way, I'll let you all know when I post one. And no, I won't animate the series with Flipnote.**

 **This chapter probably seems like total filler, but it had to be done, so here you go. Hope you like it anyway!**

* * *

Somewhat worried about the Scoutbot, Engineer followed it down the hallway, plate still in hand. The workshop door was left open, and the robot was sitting on its stool, as if it had never left.

When Engineer came in, the Scoutbot's head snapped up, its eyes flickering warily. "Don't dismanter'n me," it said.

The Texan chewed his lip. Had it been practicing that? "No one's gonna dismantle ya, son, and it bothers me how often you jump to that conclusion."

"Sniper's," the Scoutbot said, fidgeting in its seat. "Sniper's... _wananana_ -wana... dismanter'n me... C-C-C- _Camper_ van!"

"Whatever it was that happened," Engineer firmly told the robot, "I ain't gonna let him do anythin' to ya. He knows he'd have to answer to me if he even tried." The Texan glanced down at the plate in his hand, remembering the reason he'd come to see the robot.

"So, about the eggs..." The Scoutbot made an odd hissing sound, nervously leaning away. Engineer sighed quietly. "...That was a very thoughtful thing to do, and I appreciate the gesture. No one else had anythin' bad to say, either." When the Scoutbot heard that, it perked up, clapping its hands happily. "Except for Scout, really, but he'll complain about just about anythin'."

Upon hearing his name, the Scoutbot made a disgusted noise, eyes dimming. "Scouts," it bit out, the word barely audible over copious amounts of static.

"Scout?" Engineer asked. "Did he do somethin'?"

The Scoutbot paused, making another angry noise. "Camper van! Scouts... shoulda _said s-somethin'!_ "

Engineer's expression immediately darkened, and the Scoutbot scooted back, regretting saying anything. "It sounds like," the Texan said, "we'll have to sort this out as soon as possible."

(...)

Most of the team had carried their meals elsewhere, but one merc was angrily stabbing into his egg at the table. Scout was scowling at his food, a few bites taken out of it, pushing it around on the plate. He didn't even notice Engineer and the Scoutbot coming in.

"Scout," the Texan said, and the Bostonian jumped, his fork clattering to the table. He was already warily eyeing the mechanic. "Mind tellin' me what happened with Sniper?"

"Didn't we go ova dis?" Scout asked, slowly rising from his seat. "Snipes went freakin' _nuts,_ and he-"

"You know that ain't what I'm talkin' about, boy, and you also know how I feel about lyin', so I suggest you spit it out right now."

Not sure whether to open or close his mouth, Scout helplessly looked at the Scoutbot. It broke eye contact, as if _it_ was the one in the wrong. So he looked at Engineer, whose arms were crossed, his face set in a disappointed frown. Scout hated that face.

"Alright, fine, I did it," he blurted. "But it wasn't on purpose or nothin', I was just tryin' to-"

"I believe you owe someone an apology," Engineer interrupted him.

"C'mon, man, do I hafta?" Scout pleaded.

"Yes, you do," Engineer affirmed.

"But I-"

"Ya shoulda said somethin'!" the Scoutbot suddenly blurted, storming up to Scout. "Sniper's... wana... dismanter'n me... 'cuz of you! Ya shoulda _said_ somethin'!" It jabbed the stammering merc in the chest with its finger, but quickly regretted it. It stepped back, glancing in every direction except for Scout's.

"...Jeeze, man," Scout said quietly. "Ya know Snipes's tried to kill everyone here at least a few times, right?"

"Scout," Engineer snapped, his voice dangerously low.

Scout gulped. "Alright, alright, I'm sorry. Ya happy?"

"And y'all're sorry for...?"

The younger merc groaned. "Okay, I'm sorry for lyin' and shit. Dere."

Engineer looked at the Scoutbot. "And do you forgive him?"

The robot's eyes dimmed as it studied Scout. The runner looked incredibly frustrated, but he was also remarkably fidgety. This time it was him who broke eye contact.

"Yeah," the Scoutbot finally answered, emphasizing the statement with a double thumbs-up. Scout gave a short bark of laughter.

"Now all we gotta do is give Stretch an apology," Engineer said, clapping his hands with finality.

"Aw, I gotta do _anoda_ one?!" Scout whined. He was quickly silenced by a stern look from the Texan.

"Yes, you do," Engineer told him. "The Scoutbot ain't the only one hurt by all this, so to speak. What's more, he _attacked_ the Scoutbot over this. The least you could do is fess up before the situation with them really gets out of hand."

"Okay, I get ya point," Scout groaned. "...But do I gotta do it now?"

"Yep," Engineer answered.

"Oh, absolutely," the Scoutbot added, nodding enthusiastically. "C'mon, man! Can we just let's go?"

Scout opened his mouth to protest, but Engineer had already hooked his arm, guiding him out of the kitchen. The Scoutbot diligently followed. The burnt egg was left forgotten.

(...)

When Sniper saw the three silhouettes against the back of the base, he was not at all happy. This was his quiet time, goddammit, and frankly, he was sick of all of the constant visitors lately.

It was because of this that he emerged from his van with a sour attitude. "Wot do _you_ wankers want?" He glanced at the Scoutbot. "And why is _it_ here?"

As the Scoutbot respectfully stepped back, Engineer replied, "We were all just wantin' to stop by to clear up a few things."

Sniper frowned, making a pointed glance in the robot's direction. "Doesn't quoite answer my question, mate."

"Well, Scout here-" Engineer said, giving the runner a good shove forward, "-has somethin' he'd like to say to ya."

While Scout moaned, Sniper gave him a look, eyebrows raised. "Well, make it quick, then. I'd loike to get some shuteye whoile I can."

Scout looked to Engineer for help, but the Texan simply gave him an expectant look, hands on his hips. The Scoutbot was staring at Sniper, as if it was expecting the bushman to pull his knife on it again. The near-constant flickering was proof enough of that. Sniper was exhaling through his nose, his fingers impatiently drumming against the doorframe. Everyone was expecting him to speak, and quickly. He wasn't getting out of this one.

"...Alright, man. I'm da one who broke da window."

The drumming stopped. "You did that?"

"Yeah. Engie's makin' me tell ya."

"And the robot didn't break it?"

"Uh, yeah. Kinda went ova dat already."

"Then why'd you bloody tell me the goddamn robot did it?"

"Um, well, I-"

"That was _half_ of what he wanted to tell ya," Engineer intervened, sensing the Aussie's growing anger and coming between the two before a fight could break out. "Scout, what was the other thing ya wanted to say?"

"Oh, um," Scout stammered. "Uh, I'm sorry?"

"You don't mean it, so I don't accept it," Sniper replied grumpily.

"Dude, I totally mean it," Scout argued, offended.

"Not if you had to be told you don't," Sniper shot back.

"Look," Scout snapped, "I got da Scoutbot in a lotta trouble for dat, and dat right dere is somethin' to feel bad about. Just 'cuz I don't always say it don't mean I don't feel it, alright?" From behind the young merc, Engineer smiled, and the Scoutbot turned its gaze to him.

"Ah man, dat's beautiful," it said quietly.

Sniper exhaled through his nose, running a hand down his face. "Alroight, foine. If it'll make you buggers leave I'll accept the bloody apology." He jabbed a finger in the Scoutbot's direction, making it jump. "But that doesn't mean I have to loike you. Don't trust ya as far as I could throw ya." He glanced at Engineer for a moment. "I'll admit that maybe you do have feelin's or somethin', but that's all you'll get outta me."

The Scoutbot nodded in hesitant acceptance, then tentatively asked, "Don't dismanter'n me."

"It seems to assume everyone'll try to take it apart if it misbehaves or somethin'," Engineer explained. "After all this, I cain't say I blame it."

Sniper's frown deepened. "You want me to promise not to kill it, don't you?" The silence was all the answer he needed. "...Long as it doesn't give me a reason to."

"Thanks, Stretch," Engineer said, smiling. The Scoutbot gave a thumbs-up. Sniper waved a grouchily dismissive hand and slammed the camper door, deciding it was time for some peace and quiet.

"Well, I'm glad that this is all behind us now," Engineer said with a jerky nod of agreement from the Scoutbot.

"You're not da one who had to do all da apologizin'..." Scout grumbled.

"All in all, I'd say it went well. He seemed in a better mood today."

"I don't think dat guy eva has betta moods, Hardhat."

The two shared a chuckle as they reentered the base, but the Scoutbot missed the door completely, walking straight into the wall.

"What's wrong?" Engineer asked, voice laced with concern as he helped the robot to its feet.

" _Low power,_ " the Scoutbot replied. " _Refill required for optimum function._ "

"Uh, what?" Scout asked.

"Nothin' to worry about," Engineer told him, helping the stumbling robot inside. "It just needs more fuel, is all." The Texan grabbed a handful of credits, placing them in the fuel hatch. The Scoutbot blinked a few times before thanking him. That done, it looked at Scout, fist hovering over its palm.

Scout and Engineer both chuckled at that. "Alright, man. What's a few games gonna hurt?"

* * *

 **I haven't proofread this chapter yet. I'll do that later when I have the time. I'm in a hurry right now.**

 **Edit: Officially proofread now. I love my phone. :3**

 **So yeah, Scoutbot can get angry, Scout can get flustered, and Sniper can hold a conversation without attempting to assassinate someone. Character development all around (?)!**

 **Hope you all enjoyed! And please, don't be afraid to tell me what you think! See you next time!**


	10. Trickery

**Yay, I'm finally posting this, and we're at chapter 10! I want to apologize for how long this took, and believe me, I have a VERY wide range of stupid but true excuses, including but not limited to: writer's block, busy schedule, discovering Mob Psycho 100, and being purely lazy. Late updates will probably keep happening from now on, but I WILL keep updating!**

 **I have completed one flipnote for Ex Machina, and it's on our Sudomemo JTwins. It's the one with the Scoutbot, obviously. If you watch it from anything that isn't a DSi, though, there's a high chance of the video delaying or skipping, so keep in mind that the timing may seem off. Also, the song is "I Got No Time." It's a FNAF song, so if that triggers you, then I understand.**

 **Since school is starting soon, I don't know if I'll have time to work on a serious animation (on Flash or Poser, I mean). So instead, for the time being, I'm going to do art requests! I'll only do ones related to the fic, so no OCs or anything like that. Sorry! But, I'll make a DeviantArt and put my drawings there, and PM you when your request is done. I want to know what you guys would like to see!**

 **Thank you all for the support. It makes me really happy to see what you all think, and what I should fix or keep doing.**

 **To Guest, since the MVM mode allows six players, in this universe, there are three teams of six mercenaries. Heavy, Demoman, and Spy aren't here. I hope that clears up some confusion.**

* * *

That night, the mercenaries got only a few hours of sleep before they were once again called into action. Most of them were still groggy, but they were all angry enough to quickly prepare for the battle, although Scout ate a Dalokoh's Bar, of all things, to wake himself up. As usual, Engineer instructed the Scoutbot to stay in the workshop before leaving. And, like always, the Scoutbot would watch the team set up for a few minutes before heading inside, idling.

A couple days later, the robot awoke from its rest to find that its orders, once again, were temporarily disabled. Everyone would be coming inside soon. It wondered if there were any more eggs in the fridge. It doubted at this point that Engineer would get upset with it for leaving the workshop, so long as it made itself useful.

A quick look in the fridge showed that there was only one egg left in the carton. It went ahead and cooked it anyway, figuring that the mercs could share it. It was a bit disappointed, frankly, when they started bickering over who would get to eat the whole thing.

"I saw it first, and therefore it is mine, maggots!" Soldier shouted.

"Fuck off, I'm freakin' _starvin'_ ova here!" Scout wailed.

"I haven't had a decent meal in nearly a veek!" Medic argued. "Some days I svear you do nozhing _but_ eat und drink!"

The most disappointing thing was that the only one _not_ fighting over the egg, the Scoutbot noticed, was Engineer. The Texan glanced around the kitchen before making to leave, back the way he came. Before he could, though, the Scoutbot approached him, head tilted in curiosity. "Hardhat... Yo whassup?" it asked, blinking.

To its surprise, Engineer jumped a bit, startled. "Oh, Scoutbot. Didn't notice ya standin' there."

The Scoutbot's eyes flickered, then dimmed. It hadn't been just standing there; it had only just gotten there. So why did he think that it was? "Egg," it said simply, pointing in the general direction of the table. It loved picking words up from Scout.

"Oh. Well, that's awful nice of you, Scoutbot," Engineer replied, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head, "but the thing is, I got a lotta work I need to do. Maybe another time?" When the robot let out a static hiss, he added, "In the meantime, why don't ya go and play with Py? I remember him sayin' he'd teach you some games."

The Scoutbot's eyes dimmed further. It knew perfectly well what shifty behavior looked like, and Engineer was exhibiting a _lot_ of very shifty behavior. But, the Texan had been more than trustworthy so far, and the chance to learn new things was way too tempting to pass up. Its eyes brightened, and it jogged over to Pyro, who was just about to head down the hallway with the egg.

"Yo... Pyro's!" the robot called. Pyro froze, then turned. The other mercenaries were still bickering, not noticing that the egg had disappeared.

After a pause, Pyro asked, "...Yrrph?"

"Hardhat... said someth-said... play... widdit... widd... me..." the Scoutbot said, tilting its head in an attempt to convey that it was meant as a question. It couldn't find a "please" in any of its files.

"Hrr phrrb yrr phrr?" Pyro asked, looking and sounding like he should be quirking a brow. "Krrnb hrr brr rrph? Rrm hrrnbrr."

The Scoutbot did actually find a perfect answer for that. "...Engie was busy."

Pyro scanned the room for the Texan, but he was already gone. The other mercenaries had by now noticed the missing egg and moved on to find more ready-made food. After a moment of thought, the firebug sighed. "Rrkrr. Rrph prr rr brrm." After all, who could resist a good game? Eating could wait; maintaining a high level of fun was far more important.

The Scoutbot hopped and clapped its hands, and Pyro shared its enthusiasm. The firebug all but tossed the egg, plate and all, back onto the table. The sound made the other four mercs freeze, slowly turning their heads. Then the frenzy began all over again. Soldier was the one who finally claimed it, grabbing a large ham from the fridge and running off with both food items.

"Rrkrr, yrr wrrb hrrphrrb," Pyro told the Scoutbot, backing out of the kitchen. "Rr brrb rr phrr phrrnph rrb mrrb yrr rrb brr." The masked man skipped off, while the robot darted off in the opposite direction, and waited outside like it had been asked.

(...)

"Where in tarnation could those two have gone...?"

It was a little over an hour later, and Engineer had finished his task, whatever that was. Naturally, his first thought was to check up on the Scoutbot, maybe talk with it for a bit, before finding something to eat and turning in for the night. But he couldn't find the darned robot anywhere. There were only so many rooms in the base, and even fewer that the robot had access to. Engineer's eventual conclusion was that it and Pyro were most likely outside. The firebug _did_ love tag, after all.

The Texan headed outside, turning his head every which way and taking in his surroundings. He still didn't trust the provided "ceasefires."

He soon found the pair in the clearing, quite a ways past the makeshift diamond. Pyro was cheering the Scoutbot on as it hefted a large, bulky flamethrower, trembling under its weight and looking nearly as frantic as Engineer was in that moment.

"What in Sam Hill are ya doin'?! Put that thing down!"

The Scoutbot, completely unaware of his presence until then, screeched and unceremoniously threw the heavy weapon to the ground, backing away and looking as if the man had slapped it. "Don't dism-"

"Don't give me that," Engineer waved it off, storming straight past it and up to Pyro. "What were ya thinkin', givin' it a dang flamethrower?"

"Rrph nrrb rr phrrmphrrhrr," the firebug whined. "Rrph rr Rrmbrrhrr. Rr wrrph phrrphrrn hrrm phr mrrk sphrrkrrph."

Engineer sighed. Sometimes he forgot that the BLU Pyro's grasp of reality wasn't quite as firm as the rest. "Either way, don't you think it's a mite heavy for the Scoutbot to be carryin'? It was designed to carry lighter... toys, after all."

That made Pyro think for a moment. "Hrr. Rr brrph yrr rrb. Rr, brrb wrr phrr hrrb rrph rrb phrrn!"

"Yeah?"

"Rr hrr! Wrr prrb phrrb, hrrb rrm phrrk, brrbrrbrrm brrbrrbrrm, Phrrmrrn phrrph..."

"That sounds like a lotta fun," Engineer said, smiling. "Well, ya mind if I take the Scoutbot off your hands for ya? I've got somethin' I'd like to talk with it about."

"Rr brrn mrrb," Pyro answered. "Rr phrr nrrb phr rrb, rrnrrwrr."

"Thanks, Py. C'mon, Scoutbot. This is important." He beckoned to the robot as he walked off, and it happily followed him, like always.

Soon, the two were inside the base, walking down the empty hallway. The Scoutbot tried to walk into the workshop, but Engineer stopped it.

"No, we ain't goin' in there," he said. "That's the first place people'd think to look."

Quite suddenly, the Scoutbot remembered how strangely the Texan had been acting earlier. From the sound of it, he had something, or he had _done_ something, that he didn't want anyone else to know about. But what, and why? If cold metal could bend and twist, the robot was sure it would feel something like this, even if it couldn't, in such a sense, "feel." This was a sensation it had felt many times before; it wasn't fear, but it often accompanied fear.

Engineer led the robot to his room, opening the door and allowing the robot inside. It was hesitant to enter, but it eventually poked its head inside.

At first nothing seemed amiss; aside from a few extra tools littering the desk, nothing had visibly changed. It went deeper inside, still scanning the room, and noticed something in the corner, hidden behind the inactive Sentry. It was a tall machine, its blue paint chipped but shiny. It hummed and vibrated, but didn't otherwise move. The Scoutbot jumped and shrieked when it realized what it was looking at.

It was another Scoutbot.

"You know how Medic's been buggin' me to try usin' one robot as a means of fendin' off the rest," Engineer explained. "He was hopin' I'd take _you_ apart, but I couldn't possibly do that now. Luckily, I found this lil' guy all by itself after the wave was over, so I deactivated it and brought it inside when everyone else went to bed. I couldn't let the rest of the team know. They'd think I was tryin' to adopt the entire robot army, heh.

"What I need your help with," the Texan told the stunned Scoutbot, "is hopefully gettin' some information out of it. I'd do it myself, but Gray's got all kinds of failsafes on this thing. It's designed to overheat and melt down the CPU, programming chip, ports, _everything_ if anyone tries to crack it. I know it'll try to attack me once I reactivate it, weapons or no, so I was hopin' you could reason with it."

Engineer didn't wait for a response; the Scoutbot watched in jittery silence as he pulled the inactive robot to the middle of the room. He pressed in the lower jaw, and it popped open to reveal a small mess of wires. He lightly rummaged through them until there was a quiet _click,_ and the robot started to tremble. The Texan closed the jaw and took a few steps back, waiting for it to become fully aware.

The first thing the robot did was charge at Engineer, arm raised to brandish a bat it didn't have. It darted in and out, mindlessly swinging and missing by feet. It paused, then stood behind the stiff Scoutbot, recognizing it as a bomb carrier. It ran side to side, occasionally stopping to taunt, but as the human was no longer in its immediate range, it had stopped attacking.

"There anythin' ya think you can do, Scoutbot?" Engineer asked hopefully, misinterpreting the robot's stiff posture as its usual thoughtfulness. The hostile Scoutbot teased him three more times before he considered that something might be wrong. "...Scoutbot?"

As if it had been shot, the Scoutbot jerked back, sparks flying in all directions, and turned, staggering into the wall. It ran out the still-open door, and the other Scoutbot followed it. Stunned, Engineer ran after them. They were already out of sight, so he followed the thuds and slams past the tiny kitchen. He found himself in one of the Resupply Rooms, but there were no robots in sight. He ran outside, and saw only one robot thoughtlessly circling around the bomb hatch.

The Scoutbot was gone.

* * *

 **Dun dun duuun! Engineer done messed up. But what did he mess up with, exactly? The Scoutbot will make its feelings about the situation blatantly clear in the next chapter.**

 **I knew exactly what I wanted to happen in this chapter, but I had no idea how to go about it. The hardest part, I think, was either figuring out how to get the Scoutbot to ask Pyro to play, or how the heck Engineer was going to deactivate a robot that would melt down if you messed with its insides. Scoutbots' jaws move a bit, so I thought maybe there could be a switch of some sort in there. Plus, it would be stupid to design a robot you couldn't turn off without it overheating, never mind making it run on money.**

 **Pyro-ese:**

 **"Yes?"**

 **"He told you to? Can't it wait? I'm hungry."**

 **"Okay. Let's play a game."**

 **"Okay, you wait outside. I'll grab a few things and meet you out there."**

 **"It's not a flamethrower. It's a Rainblower. I was teaching him to make sparkles."**

 **"Huh. I guess you're right. Oh, but we still had lots of fun!"**

 **"Uh huh! We played tag, hide and seek, bubblegum bubblegum, Simon says..."**

 **"I don't mind. I still need to eat, anyway."**

 **So, I hope you guys enjoyed! I'll let you know if I make another flipnote!**


	11. Hypocrisy

**Wow, this sure took me long enough, didn't it? Firstly, I want to apologize that it took me, like, a month to get this chapter out. Secondly, I have four words for you: college and writer's block. Separately, they aren't too bad, but together, you're staring at a nearly-complete chapter for two weeks with an essay looming over your head.**

 **About the Pyro dialogue issue, I put translations at the end of the chapter for reader convenience, but some of you have said that it's actually really inconvenient. If you have any suggestions for what to do about it, I'm happy to hear it, but I won't put all of Pyro's dialogue in parentheses or something because it wouldn't feel Pyro to me.**

 **I have a Colors 3D now, so any art requests will go there instead of DeviantArt. My name there is BigJBonk.**

 **Also, I saw a drawing of the BLU Medic and Sniper acting grumpy, and I'm trying to figure out if it was fanart or the most tense bushmedicine ever created. In both cases I'm not sure what to say.**

* * *

The Scoutbot knew, once it saw the robot stowed away in the corner, that something here was very, very wrong.

 _There's a Scoutbot in here? Why is there a Scoutbot in here?_

"You know how Medic's been buggin' me to try usin' one robot as a means of fendin' off the rest," Engineer explained. "He was hopin' I'd take _you_ apart, but I couldn't possibly do that now."

 _I know about this. I was there. Why is there a Scoutbot in here?_

"Luckily, I found this lil' guy all by itself after the wave was over, so I deactivated it and brought it inside when everyone else went to bed. I couldn't let the rest of the team know. They'd think I was tryin' to adopt the entire robot army, heh."

 _But why? What do you need it for? Why is there a Scoutbot in here?!_

"What I need your help with," Engineer continued-

 _But what could I help with? What could I possibly help with?_

"-is hopefully gettin' some information out of it."

Anything else the Texan might have said after that was drowned out by the Scoutbot's thoughts. It remembered. It remembered why it was here in the first place. The mercenaries had considered it a source of information, a way to potentially end the war with Gray Mann. And when it couldn't provide that, it started making itself useful in other ways. As long as it was helping, it would be unharmed. And now, here was a job it was expected to do, but what _could_ it do? It wasn't a Medicbot, or a Mecha Engineer. In a situation like this, there was nothing it could do. From this, it could only draw one conclusion.

 _I'm going to be taken apart._

"...Scoutbot?"

Before the Scoutbot could properly gather its thoughts, it's feet were moving. It had no idea where it was going; it slammed into the wall, felt an opening, darted out. It clashed with the surrounding walls several times, then a metal door. It shrieked, so frantic it could barely make sense of its own thoughts.

 _I can't get through! It won't open!_

 _No, it will! It has to!_

 _It slides up! Pull it up!_

The Scoutbot grabbed the edge of the door and threw it up so hard the narrow windows rattled in their frames, and it kept running. It was trapped if it stayed on the map, so it ran around the building. Warnings flashed, its vision went red, everything was overheating, but it kept running. It no longer had a choice.

The Scoutbot had no idea where it was going, but if it wanted to remain intact, then it could no longer stay.

Crawling back to its Maker wasn't an option, either.

There was nowhere for it to go.

 _Warning: processing has halte-_

 _..._

(...)

Engineer couldn't find the Scoutbot anywhere. He checked the map, he checked the clearing, he checked the map again, and he even checked to make sure it wasn't still in the base. But the robot wasn't anywhere.

The following day, he told the team that it had run off. He explained the situation and asked them to help him find it. Sniper flat-out refused. Medic, reluctantly, agreed to look around the base. Engineer and Soldier would thoroughly search the area around the base, while Pyro and Scout would leave the base entirely to find the robot. Everyone gave themselves two hours to find it. They wanted the risk of an attack with two members absent to be as low as possible.

Forty-eight minutes later, Scout returned, huffing and puffing. It took him twelve seconds to find Engineer.

"We found it," he panted. "About a mile out. Py's tryin' to carry it back."

Engineer nodded, and he had Scout take him to where they found the robot. Once they met up with Pyro, they found him dragging it, inch by inch, its weight too much for him to carry alone.

The Scoutbot was covered in shallow dents, presumably from hitting the walls. The bulb in one eye had shattered, and the decorative headset was bent at an irregular angle. The robot didn't move. The hatch was cold, the inside lined with ash.

Engineer and Scout helped Pyro carry the Scoutbot back to the base, where the Texan spent his time taking care of the dents and fixing the headset. He had to make a new bulb from scratch. A paint job took care of the sand scratches. The robot looked almost new again.

Pyro and Scout retrieved a generous amount of credits, and stayed with Engineer as he put them in and closed the hatch. After another quick once-over to make sure nothing else was damaged, he pressed the button in its jaw and stepped back.

As soon as its eyes blinked on, the Scoutbot tried to run, crashing to the ground. It tried to get to its feet, and it fell back over. It thrashed, flailed, even screamed, but nothing was working. It wouldn't let its motor warm up, and that left it unable to move properly.

So it gave up. Slowly, with jerky movements, it rolled onto its back, tucking up its legs and obscuring its face with its hands, looking like it was in some sort of bizarre fetal position. Pyro just about broke down at the sight.

Engineer was incredibly surprised by this sort of behavior from the Scoutbot, so he spoke softly as he knelt down next to it. "Scoutbot, why did you run off like that?" When the robot didn't answer, he tried a different question. "Was it because I brought another Scoutbot inside?"

Scout frowned when Engineer asked that; he'd been particularly upset when he'd heard that part of the story. He recalled a time when their Medic had kidnapped the BLU Spy to do who-knew-what to him. Even for Medic, that had been pretty messed up, and Scout was astonished to think that Engineer, of all people, would do something so similar.

The Scoutbot let out a strange wail, and Engineer had no idea what it was supposed to mean beyond the nervous wreck the robot clearly was. "Look, is there a way you can tell me what I did, 'cause I know I did _somethin'._ But if it wasn't about the Scoutbot, then what?"

That made the Scoutbot stop and think. Engineer thought _he_ was in the wrong? He wanted the war to end, the robot understood that. But it couldn't help him, so why was his first thought that _he_ did something wrong?

 _No, he knew exactly what he was doing. That's why he acted so strangely before._

"Well," Scout threw in, "I dunno about you guys, but if someone brought in da BLU Scout and said, 'hey, we're usin' dis guy now,' I'd be pretty freakin' pissed."

"Is that what this is about?" Engineer asked. "Did you think I was tryin' to replace you?"

No, of course not. That wasn't the problem at all. But the Scoutbot wasn't stupid; if it dared to tell a human that it couldn't do its job, something as simple as following an order... Well, it might as well pull out its own processor then and there. So, instead of puzzling over how it could tell Engineer that, it slowly nodded.

"Hudda!" Pyro exclaimed in disbelief. Scout nodded in satisfaction. He knew what was up.

Engineer was silent for an unnerving amount of time. But finally, he sighed. "Look, Scoutbot, I'm really sorry. I knew you were nervous enough, stayin' here and all, and I went ahead and made it worse. I didn't want you to think you were gettin' replaced. I would never do that to you."

 _I don't know anymore._

Engineer added, "I do hope you'll forgive me."

The Scoutbot blinked a few times. Whether the apology was real or not it didn't know, but it was genuinely surprised to be getting another chance, one it wouldn't take for granted. It shakily climbed to its feet and, scared of what would happen if it didn't, said, "Yeah, yeah, thanks!" Engineer breathed a sigh of relief. Pyro clapped, and Scout hooted.

"Yeah, we got our tin can back!" he cheered.

Giggling excitedly, Pyro lunged in for a hug, but even he could see how badly the Scoutbot flinched. He checked himself, mumbling and apology.

"Hey, where'd da otha robot go, anyway?" Scout asked, the thought only just now occurring to him hours after the fact.

"It ran off a long time ago," Engineer replied, waving a dismissive hand. "How about we let everyone know that the Scoutbot is doin' fine and dandy?"

As the mercs filed out of the workshop, the Scoutbot followed behind Engineer, just as it always had. But now it was different. The Scoutbot kept its eyes glued to the back of his head, always watching him. When he stopped, the robot paced in place, or rocked back and forth, not trusting that it wouldn't shake if it stopped moving entirely.

Because when a human got too friendly, there was always one more robot missing.

* * *

 **So this one was a little short, but definitely not the shortest. Although I did achieve something. Pyro was in over half the chapter, and yet there's no need for a translation.**

 **Poor Scootboot. It's still learning, but it's getting the wrong message. Hopefully that ends soon.**

 **Don't forget to let me know what you think. Feedback is always treasured!**


	12. Hostility

**What's this? A chapter with some actual conflict? Wow!**

 **Thank you to those of you who have been enjoying this story. It means a lot that so many of you take the time to read this, especially with school being in session for most of you.**

 **I've been getting an issue with the reviews so that I can't read them until later. But I got your review eventually, Natural Bacon. I can totally imagine that happening, and while I don't think that would fit in this story, I may just have to make an animation about that. ;) No promises, though. I'm not a motivated person.**

* * *

The kitchen had become a makeshift meeting room of sorts, apparently, so it was there that Engineer gathered the other mercenaries to tell them that the Scoutbot was okay. The news was met with mixed reactions. Sniper, of course, snorted, indifferent. Medic seemed politely pleased, a bit happier than in previous weeks about the presence of a former enemy robot. Soldier just commented on how shiny it was.

Soon, the mercenaries brought up an important question, one that Scout had asked minutes earlier. Thanks to Engineer's story, they all knew that there had been another Scoutbot involved. They'd been too busy searching to pay that fact any mind, but now that they'd found their own Scoutbot, figuring out where the other one went suddenly seemed very important.

"Herr Engineer," Medic asked, "do you happen to know vhat, exactly, became of zhe ozher Scoutbot?"

"Rrnbrr phrrb hrr rrn rrwrr," Pyro supplied.

"Ran away?!" Soldier exclaimed. "That snail-eating coward!"

"It's a bloody robot, not a Spy," Sniper frowned.

"That does not mean that they are not French scum," Soldier argued.

"Fellas, fellas, calm down," Engineer said, grabbing their attention before a proper argument could break out. "The Scoutbot ran off. Where it ends up is hardly important."

"Ja, you have a point," Medic said bitterly. "Zhat is, if you don't consider zhe possibility of it vandering into some town important."

"Ain't gonna happen," Sniper threw in, crossing his arms. "I reckon there's nothin' but sand and tombstones moiles around."

"Yeah," Scout added. "Even if it tried, wouldn't it, like, run outta power or somethin'?" Engineer had to facepalm when a certain robot started fidgeting behind him.

"So if the Scoutbot would go anywhere," Sniper went on, "it would probably go back to wherever Gray's base is. Now think about it for a moment. Where was _this_ Scoutbot going?"

The robot in question squawked as all heads turned to it. The implication was clear. "Uh, no-o-ooo-no!" it stuttered, trying to back away from the situation. It hadn't realized that Scout had been leaning against the doorframe.

"Seriously, don't run off again, man. It was enough of a pain in da ass findin' ya da first time."

The Scoutbot would have wet itself if it could.

"That's enough from all y'all!" Engineer snapped. "After everythin' it's done for us, what makes y'all think it'd run off to Gray now?"

"Vell, it _did_ run avay," Medic pointed out. "If it didn't vant to be here, zhen vhere is a robot to go besides to Gray?"

"Uhh, _no!_ " the Scoutbot cried, nearly tripping backwards over Scout's outstretched legs.

"That's enough!" Engineer demanded, becoming increasingly distraught. "It's scared enough as it is!"

"Come off it already!" Sniper yelled back. "That thing doesn't _get_ scared! Whoi're you tryin' so hard to protect it like it does?! It's awfully suspicious, you know. Bringing a Scoutbot in here, spending toime with it in proivate, then it runs away on your watch? And we only have _your_ word that it ran off? Raises a lot o' questions, mate!"

Suddenly, the entire room was tense. Even the Scoutbot had stopped moving entirely. Just about everyone was staring at the bushman in disbelief. Engineer was quietly furious.

"Son... whut're you tryin' to say?"

Despite his situation, Sniper wasn't scared. He had teammates around him if anything happened. Still, he wasn't quite in the Texan's face when he snarled back, "You know wot I think? I think you _sent_ the robot away, maybe with some tidbit of information. A ruddy traitor, is wot you are!"

After that, no one dared to be within ten feet of Engineer. They could tell by how his jaw moved that he was grinding his teeth, and it was taking him all of his self-control not to slug the taller man right then and there. And even then, he made one last attempt at diffusing the situation.

"Look, we're all weary, we've had a long day, so whah don't we all take a break, clear our heads? Maybe then you'll realahze how ludicrous of a statement that is."

"Oh, loike hell it is!" Sniper exclaimed, undeterred. "You're just tryin' to draw attention away from yaself, make us forget wot's goin' on! Or maybe you're tryin' to get toime alone with-"

Jabbing his finger at the Texan's chest was his biggest mistake. The Scoutbot finally fell backwards, shocked, as Engineer hooked Sniper in the jaw with his gloved hand. There was a thick _crack,_ accompanied by a small echo, and Sniper slumped to the ground, his jaw bloody and quite clearly broken. The shorter man tried to get on top of him, but Scout and Pyro lunged and grabbed his arms, only barely managing to restrain him. Amazingly, Sniper got back up, and he charged. Soldier cheered him on, but when Medic made a grab for the bushman, he did as well. They had a much easier time holding him back.

Engineer calmed down quickly enough, so Scout and Pyro let him go. Medic and Soldier were more reluctant to release their still-struggling charge. Between the two, Engineer had always been more of a gentleman.

"I'm really sorry, Stretch," he murmured. "I-"

"No, ya got nothin' to be sorry about," Scout interrupted, looking around the room to meet everyone's eyes. "Engie ain't a traitor. He can't be. He's da one who told us da Scoutbot was gone, and asked us to help him find it. A traitor wouldn't do dat, right? Dat'd be stupid, 'cause he's, like, da smartest guy here. 'Sides me, of course.

"And what about you?!" He demanded, whipping around to face Sniper. "Eva since ya got here, you've been actin' like a grumpy bag o' shit! Ya shoot robots, yeah, but no matta what, ya always bein' an asshole! What if I called _you_ a traitor, huh? Don't feel too good, does it?"

Medic _humphed,_ impressed. "Huh. I never zhought I'd hear anyzhing nearly zhat intelligent coming from a Scout." He turned his head to find that Soldier had let go of Sniper, blowing his nose and dramatically bawling his eyes out like an overgrown child. Scout preened.

"That was very nice of ya to say that for me, Scout," Engineer began slowly, "but I never should have put you in that position." He addressed the rest of the room when he next spoke. "I can see why y'all might suspect me of bein' a traitor. I've been spendin' a lot of my time with somethin' that was quite literally built to destroy Mann Co. Not that I think ya have any intention of doin' that," he hastily added when the Scoutbot managed to sound offended. "But the fact is, I want this war to end just as much as the rest of ya, and collaboratin' with the enemy won't do us any good.

"For now, the best thing we can do," the Texan went on, "is to just keep fightin'. Gray's gonna run outta resources eventually. But us? As long as we got Respawn, we ain't gonna go down. We can hold him off, and eventually, it _will_ be enough."

The small crowd shared collective nods, satisfied with Engineer's speech. Sniper had finally calmed down, but he was clearly still bitter about his broken jaw, which Medic chose right then to remember, so he ushered the Aussie towards the infirmary.

Inspired by both Scout's and Engineer's words, Soldier marched off, determined to spend every available moment until the next battle training. Pyro then left, offering Engineer a thumbs-up as he passed. Scout gave the Texan a pat on the shoulder before he, too, left.

Then it was just Engineer and the Scoutbot.

The Scoutbot had been terrified throughout the whole ordeal. Rarely had it seen the mercenaries so hostile, so _loud,_ if ever. The fear only grew when Engineer had lashed out at Sniper. Engineer, who the robot had always thought of as the calm, rational one on the team. It had almost decided to try running again while the humans' attention had been elsewhere, but it remembered that it hadn't worked before. Not even close. So instead of running and risking the mercenaries' wrath, the Scoutbot stayed low to the ground, trying to draw as little attention to itself as possible.

But now that everything had calmed down, the robot noticed something odd about the whole situation. Humans weren't very strong. They could bruise each other, sure, but if Gray was any indication of what was normal for a human, then Engineer shouldn't have been able to break Sniper's jaw so easily. So why was he?

Figuring that the Texan would have done something if he'd had any intention to, the Scoutbot slowly stood, warily but curiously staring at Engineer's glove.

Engineer had been about to apologize to the robot for his earlier behavior, but he quickly realized that it wasn't paying him much attention. After taking a few seconds to figure out what it was looking at, he lifted his right hand to see what it would do. The Scoutbot twitched, startled, then looked up to meet Engineer's eyes.

The Texan thought long and hard, lips pursed. He then told the robot, "Come with me."

For very good reason, the Scoutbot was instantly wary, hesitant to follow Engineer, especially when the destination turned out to be his room. It took its time mustering the courage to step inside, scanning the room as if it was expecting another Scoutbot to be stashed away somewhere.

"Don't worry, I'm not hidin' anythin' in here this time," Engineer assured it with a nervous laugh. It seemed no one would be forgetting about that any time soon, not that he expected anyone to. "Even so, you cain't tell anyone what you see in here. Only a handful of people know about this; not even Scout knows. Ya understand?"

The Scoutbot started edging back towards the door, but it didn't run. _I suppose that's better than it lockin' up,_ Engineer thought ruefully.

Even though he'd made up his mind, he hesitated. Only a few people knew his secret, and even then it was only because of necessity. It was probably his best creation, but also his stupidest decision, not something he liked to show off. But the Scoutbot was freaked out, he knew. He hoped that knowing might calm it down.

So he gently pulled off his glove, exposing the robotic hand underneath.

This time it was the Texan who was uncomfortable with the silence, not used to being gawked at. After what must have been a full minute, the Scoutbot inched closer, hoping to get a better look. It reached a hand out, then stopped, meeting Engineer's eyes. After a brief pause, he nodded. "Go ahead."

The Scoutbot took the Gunslinger in its hands, turning it over and inspecting it. It tapped the pressure dial, prodded the area where metal and tissue met- Engineer winced a little at that- and even played with the digits, bending them and spreading them out.

Engineer was extremely uncomfortable the entire time, but giving the Scoutbot that much trust... He liked to hope he'd managed to earn some back.

* * *

 **Yay, it's a bit longer this time! Well, I can't promise that the next one will be up as quickly. I'm sure I've told you all about my wonderful jinxing skills already.**

 **Now for Pyro's Corner. Hopefully this wasn't needed.**

 **"Engie said he ran away."**

 **I guess he didn't have much to say. I swear it isn't dialogue avoidance. Dialogue avoidance is the reason Soldier is here instead of Demoman. XD**

 **Don't be afraid to tell me what you think! Even if I don't reply to you, I read every single review I get! :D**


	13. Anomaly

**Now that I no longer have an essay to work on, here's chapter 13! To celebrate, I need to find a new notebook, because the one I was using is full now. XD**

 **Unrelated, but I had a lot of fun on TF2 yesterday. In MVM, I did Sniper's pelvic thrust thing while walking, and someone started a conga line behind me. And that was _after_ I pretended to be a squeaker over the mic. I also managed to get an entire CTF server to switch to Sandvich-sharing Heavies and peaceful Spycrabs. Don't know how I did it, but it was wonderful.**

 **By the way, Scout has big-time potty mouth in this one.**

* * *

Before anyone knew it, the day had come and gone, and there was still no sign of another attack from Gray, putting every mercenary on edge. Sleep eluded them that night, and few of them had appetites the following morning. Strangely enough, the fridge and cupboards had been restocked overnight. But that was to be expected; Miss Pauling sent an unmarked delivery truck every month or so full of supplies. No one knew how she did it without being detected, but they all agreed it was better not to ask.

As the day pressed on, the team grew more and more uneasy, so they all found something to do to fill the silence. Medic reorganized the various medication and equipment in the infirmary, even though it probably wouldn't look any different than when he started. Soldier trained by mercilessly beating several wooden practice dummies with a shovel. Pyro evidently had something interesting in his room, if the giggles coming from it were any indication. Sniper, jaw healed, had taken to watching the battlefield from his roost, suspicious that Gray had something sinister up his sleeve.

Scout, Engineer, and the Scoutbot were in one of the Respawn Rooms. Scout had treated himself to a Crit-a-Cola, and while calm, he wouldn't stop pacing. The Scoutbot kept staring unwaveringly at Engineer, so the Texan nervously cleared his throat and addressed the two.

"I've been wantin' to do this for a while now," he said. "The Scoutbot only has so many audio files, and I think it'd be a good idea to expand on them. I was thinkin' we could start with the necessities. Greetings, manners, and the like."

"Oh, absolutely!" the Scoutbot agreed.

"So, what am I s'posed to say, please and thank you?" Scout asked, perhaps a little sarcastically.

"That would be ideal, yeah," the Texan replied. "But ya gotta think about the tone, too. Sometimes ya need to end with a risin' intonation, but other times it wouldn't be appropriate."

"And in-toe-nay-shun would be...?"

"Whether somethin' should sound like a statement or a question."

"Oh, I gotcha. I totally knew dat, by da way."

"Yeheheah," the Scoutbot bleated.

"Looks like it's got da sarcasm thing down," Scout grumbled. The robot leaned away slightly. "Dude, chill. I ain't mad or nothin'."

"That's actually a good thing," Engineer added, nodding encouragingly. "The whole point of this is to make it easier for you to get your message across."

"But you _hate_ it when _I_ get sarcastic!" Scout whined.

"...I'm sorry..." the Scoutbot almost whispered, no longer daring to look up.

"Y'all got nothin' to be sorry for," Engineer assured it after shooting Scout a sharp glare. "Scout was just exaggeratin'. It's all about how ya _use_ sarcasm. Scout just... usually ain't nice about it." For once, the runner wisely kept his mouth shut.

Miraculously, that explanation seemed to be enough to get the Scoutbot out of its mood, and it raised its head, eager to start learning.

The session went on for almost two hours. Engineer got Scout to say all kinds of things ranging from "please and thank you" to "could you pass me that over there," probably the only time he could get him to say such things, and had the Scoutbot parrot the phrases back to him. That done, he tried to get the robot to make a message of its own while keeping the pauses between voice clips as short as possible, but after that resulted in it running dangerously low on power and several half-successful attempts at goading it out of its self-depreciation, the Texan decided that that was enough for one day.

Which was just as well, because minutes later, the alarm started blaring. Engineer actually heard someone a few rooms down cheer at the sound. The Scoutbot didn't even need to be told to wait in the workshop; it scurried down the hallway while Pyro, Medic, and Soldier all but barged past to prepare for the oncoming waves.

The mercenaries prepared in record time, and were out the door in minutes. And not a moment too soon, as the first Pyrobots touched down on the map, running as one giant wall of fire.

The wave appeared to be going smoothly. Demoknights were pushed back with compression blasts, Pyrobots were blown to hot scraps of metal by rockets, and Scoutbots that took their time to pick up the bomb were headshot, the resulting shrapnel aiding in dispersing the swarm around them. The bomb hadn't even reached the roost yet.

It was then, though, that things started to get hairy.

Far earlier than expected came the giant Soldierbots and their Medicbots, joining the machines already present. On their tails was a fresh tidal wave of Scoutbots. Engineer's Sentry immediately locked onto them, but every bullet missed. The Texan realized that they'd entered the map already under the influence of whatever Gray used to simulate Bonk! at the same time that Sniper and Medic were taken out by a charged rocket. Unable to fend off the sheer number of robots, the rest of the mercenaries fell to rockets and shield bashes.

Seconds later, they respawned, flabbergasted. But with that many robots approaching the hatch, there was no time to figure out what was going on. They ran back outside, attempting to thin out the Scoutbots while they were still cooling down. What they didn't notice was the Demoknight purposefully carrying the bomb until it was too late. It walked over the hatch...

...and straight past it, the bomb still in its possession.

"What da hell's it doin'?!" Scout exclaimed, pausing. "Da hatch is dis way!" He had to narrowly dodge a rocket.

All mercs ran at the Demoknight, trying to gun it down quickly, but it was already kneeling down-

"What..." Engineer breathed in disbelief.

-and raising the metal door, letting in a stream of feisty Scoutbots.

" _What_ the actual _fuck?!_ " Scout screamed, his voice a high-pitched shriek.

"Pyro, Soldier, Sniper, stay out here and fend them off!" Engineer ordered, finally destroying the Demoknight with a spray of buckshot and allowing the door to shut. "Medic, Scout, follow me!"

Scout and Engineer pulled out their bat and wrench, respectively, Medic his Syringe Gun, and got to work on the Scoutbots that had gotten inside. Considering only a couple dozen had gotten in, they made quick work of them, and Scout ran around the trashed base like a bullet to find any they could have missed.

"Any left?" Engineer asked shortly.

"Just ours," Scout quickly replied, shaking his head. "And it fuckin' slept through all of it."

"At least it didn't get caught up in all of this. Let's get back out there. They'll likely be needin' us."

The mercenaries were on high alert for the rest of the wave, but it proved to be pointless. Except for being essentially trapped in Respawn for almost an hour thanks to the Soldierbots and their pockets, the rest of the wave went without incident, as did the ones following it. After two long days of relatively uneventful battle, the mercenaries were even more on edge.

"Dis doesn't make any fuckin' sense!" Scout complained the moment everyone was within ten feet of each other. "Robots ain't s'posed to fuckin' do dat! Dat's gotta be cheatin' or somethin', I don't fuckin' know!"

"Normally I don't tolerate that kinda language," Engineer said, "but I think we can all agree that this situation about calls for it."

"Hrr brrb brr brr brrb?" asked Pyro. "Rr phrrb rrb wrrb rrbrrph phr rrph."

"Wot'd it say?" Sniper asked.

"Just what we've all been askin' ourselves since then," Engineer answered. "How did that robot know how to get in? None of them have been able to before. Not even the Scoutbot."

"But it vas able to figure it out, remember?" Medic pointed out. "Perhaps it simply took zhese vuns longer."

"In my respectable and factual opinion, this makes perfect sense!" Soldier declared, slamming one fist down into his palm. "The robots are getting smarter! They are learning our weaknesses, and so we must compensate for them!"

"Ya sayin' dere's more like our Scoutbot out dere?" Scout asked with some skepticism.

"Scientifically speakin', there's bound to be," Engineer reasoned. "And we never even considered the possibility."

The Texan sighed deeply through his nose. "I'm startin' to think we've severely underestimated Gray Mann."

* * *

 **What?! The plot is actually starting to develop?! I'd love to hear your guesses as to what's going on, but I'm not going to tell you if you're right. ;)**

 **Pyro Speak:**

 **"How did they do that? I thought it was against the rules."**

 **Am I doing better with making Pyro legible? Please tell me how I'm doing. It's a good way to keep me motivated! -wink wink wank wonk-**


	14. Tidy

**Well, I sure hope this chapter's long enough. I got a new notebook, but this one has more lines to a page, and they're longer on top of that. So right now I'm trying to gauge how many pages I should fill up.**

 **I posted another Ex Machina flipnote. It's pretty lazily made, but it pretty much sums up Sniper's relationship with the Scoutbot. It's the one with an image of Engineer. Also, it has a big ol' EM AV written on it. Remember, I share the account JTwins with Little J on Sudomemo.**

 **For some reason, I kept thinking of Chappie while I wrote this. If you haven't seen it, it's an interesting movie. Coincidentally, the story also has a lot to do with a scared robot trying to act like a person. -shrug-**

 **I appreciate that y'all are taking the time to read and review, but for future reference, I'm not taking requests for the story. I** ** _am_** **taking art requests relating to the story, though. ;) So if there's something you particularly want to see, I'll draw it for you.**

* * *

The mercenaries spent a long time trying to figure out what Gray could have planned. The issue they most focused on, however, was the purpose of the initial attack. Anything not behind a closed door was all but destroyed- the mercs still have to get around to cleaning up- but was that all that Gray had set out to do? It wasn't likely, considering the Mann looked at things from a strategic perspective, but what could he have gained from getting a few robots to ruin some counters and walls?

"Obviously he was searching for our deepest, darkest secrets," Soldier offered. "Secrets so deep and dark that even _we_ don't know about them!"

"Dat wouldn't surprise me," Scout scoffed, crossing his arms. "Ya know, considerin' da people employin' us."

"But this is just random destruction," Engineer debated. "Sure, the breach itself was pretty well-planned, designed with the sole purpose of overwhelmin' us. But beyond that, there was no coordination whatsoever. They just made a damn huge mess of things."

"Do you zhink it vas meant to instill fear?" Medic wondered. "Ve never expected zhe robots to infiltrate zhe base because zhey'd never done so before. Now ve can no longer say vhat zhey are or aren't capable of."

"That's a sound theory ya got there, doc," Engineer said. "If Gray wanted to get a scare out of us, then I dare to say he succeeded."

"I think there's more to it than that," Sniper threw in. He took things very seriously when they mattered. "Gray must have known how we'd react once the robots got insoide. I think he was tryin' to distract us."

"From what?" Scout demanded. "Da Demoknight had da bomb! Until Engie destroyed it, I mean, but half of us were outside! Dat bomb wasn't goin' nowhere."

"He's always been one to think ahead," Engineer thought aloud, "so he must have known that we wouldn't let the bomb get to the hatch. So it wasn't about the bomb. Then what? Somethin's definitely goin' on here, and I just cain't put my finger on it..."

"Yo whassup?"

All heads snapped towards the source of the voice, weapons drawn. The Scoutbot jumped, not at all expecting such a hostile welcome. "Wha-What?"

"Rr! Hrr Sphrrbrrph!" Pyro called, waving enthusiastically. After a moment of hesitation, everyone else relaxed.

"Sorry about that, Scoutbot," Engineer said. "Somethin's happened, and it's got us all a mite jumpy."

"Think you can tell us wot's goin' on?" Sniper inquired, raising an expectant brow.

The Scoutbot raised its hands defensively. "..I-I-I dunno... What's da mat-matta? _What?_ "

"Sniper, that's enough," Engineer warned the Aussie. "Ya cain't assume that all our problems are the Scoutbot's fault."

"Of course I can. Gray built it, roight?"

"C'mon, man!" the Scoutbot pleaded. "I don't... wananana... DON'T!"

"Ah said _enough._ " Sniper glared but didn't say anything, while the Scoutbot ran to the Texan's left side.

"What'd I tell ya? Bag o' shit." Scout earned a growl for that one.

"We were attacked by robots!" Soldier suddenly blurted out. The Scoutbot stared at him, nonplussed by such an obvious yet unexpected statement.

"Some robots got into the base yesterday," Engineer explained. The Scoutbot blinked several times before it was ready to process more. "One of the giants realized it could hold the door open, and none of us can figure out exactly why it did it."

"...Scary..." the robot hissed. "Are ya alright?"

The Texan smiled, glad that the Scoutbot was already putting its learned manners to good use. "Yeah, we're fine. The base is trashed, but nothin' important got broken or anythin' like that."

"Und because novun else vants to ask, do you know vhy Gray vould have zhe robots break in?" The Scoutbot stared at Medic for a moment, blinking in indecision. It shuffled one foot, ducking its head. Then, it slowly turned to Engineer, lightly tapping where its throat would be in some gesture understood between them.

"Well said, rookie!" Soldier boomed. "Boys, we must protect the briefcase at all costs!"

"That had nothin' to do with a bloody briefcase!" Sniper snapped at him, then turned to Engineer. "So wot was that then, since you obviously know?!"

"Take it easy, pardner," the Texan said. "It just means it cain't tell us yet. It doesn't have the proper files to draw from."

"But _does_ it know?" Sniper asked critically. The Scoutbot shrugged, keeping its head low, and the bushman snorted. "Wot bloody use are ya, then?"

That had been a bad thing to say. The Scoutbot's head snapped up, and the robot backpedaled into the wall behind it. "D-Don't... Don't dismanter'n me... please... I'm sor- _or_ -orry...!"

Engineer slammed his fist down on the cracked counter. "Whah do ya always gotta give it such a hard time, Stretch?"

Snarling, Sniper tried to advance, but Medic pulled him back with a hand on his shoulder. "Zhis fighting is meaningless. You bozh argue about zhe same zhing over und over, but neizher of you are going to change your mind. It's pointless."

Sniper turned his head to shoot the doctor a dark glare, then stalked out of the room, muttering something about keeping watch. When he was out of sight, Engineer exhaled. "I just don't get it. Why won't he see that the Scoutbot ain't bad?"

"Just ignore him," Scout told him. "He's a grumpy old moron. Dere's no way to make him happy."

"Hardhat..." the Scoutbot murmured. "Don't... wanana... let's g- _ksshh_... go. Please."

"And you're not gonna," the Texan assured it, "no matter what he might say. I won't let that happen."

When Pyro's indecipherable blubbering became became too much, Soldier stood up straight. "All these sappy feelings are for hippies and teenage girls! What we _should_ be doing is fighting! And if not that, then preparing to fight!"

"Ya know what? Solly's actually got a point," Scout declared. "We're all standin' around worryin' about dat sad sack Snipes, while Gray's makin' a shit-ton of robots who wanna kill us. And dey're gettin' smarter, too. I can't believe _I'm_ da one offerin' to do dis, but shouldn't we be robot-proofin' da base or somethin' after all dat?" He glanced at the Scoutbot. "I mean, robot-proofin' from da _otha_ robots. You're cool." The robot nodded to show that it understood.

"Well, we'd better get started while we still have ourselves a break," Engineer announced, clapping his hands with finality. "Soldier, Scoutbot, y'all can help me get the kitchen and hallways tidied up. Medic, Scout, Pyro, why don't y'all work on the Resupply Rooms and anythin' with open doors?"

"And how come Snipes doesn't have to do nothin', huh?" Scout whined.

"He's out front keepin' watch," the Texan told him. "I get the feelin' he wants to be left alone."

"Men, grab your brooms, buckets, and feather dusters!" Soldier shouted. "We have chores to do! There better not be even a speck of dirt anywhere in this base or you'll all have my boot up your ass! Now get to work!"

And so the mercenaries and the robot got started on the tedious task of cleaning up the base. Soldier did most of the muscle work, like holding support beams in place while Engineer made sure they were properly secure. The Scoutbot focused largely on the smaller details, taking time to make sure the Bilious Hale portraits were perfectly level, or rubbing out that stubborn spot clinging to the fridge. It even insisted on sweeping the entire hallway twice when one small bit of sheet rock didn't get picked up the first time.

"You're doin' a great job," Engineer complimented it as it polished one of the portraits. "But I don't think the place needs to be _perfectly_ spotless. It sure as heck wasn't in the first place."

"Solly," the Scoutbot said. "Don't... wanna... ass."

"Don't wanna ass? I don't... oh." Engineer couldn't help but laugh, and the robot cringed. The Texan made sure Soldier wasn't in earshot. Satisfied that he wouldn't be heard by the American at the other end of the hallway, he whispered, "Ya don't have to take what he says so literally. At most, all he's gonna do is yell. Besides, I don't think ya even _have_ an ass."

"I got it, I got it," the Scoutbot said, nodding. Even so, it continued to clean the rest of the portraits to its satisfaction. Pretty soon- much sooner than expected, in fact- the entire base looked as good as new. Or as good as before, anyway.

"Ohoho, we are not done yet, privates!" declared Soldier. He grinned. "Now... Now, we need to come up with some plans."

* * *

 **And Robot Housewife makes a splendid return! Hoorah!**

 **I'm not going to bother with the Pyro-ese this time around. What he said was not at all plot-relevant, anyway.**

 **Like always, I hope you enjoyed!**


	15. Okay?

**NOTE: THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY IMPORTANT. PLEASE READ IT!**

 **Welcome back, guys! We're now at chapter 15, tying this story with one I wrote a few years ago! I'm starting to think I might finish a story for once. So thank you all for sticking with me so far. We've still got a ways to go, because someone else will be getting a chance to meet the Scoutbot this time around.**

* * *

For the next few hours, the mercenaries tried to come up with ways to keep the robots out of the base while they themselves could still come and go freely. So far, nothing they came up with seemed like viable options. No matter what they thought of, either they could get locked out, the Scoutbot wouldn't be taken into consideration, or the idea just flat-out wouldn't work.

"We could have a number code!" Soldier offered.

"Gray could see us punchin' it in from those fancy cameras of his," Sniper countered. "It wouldn't work for long."

"Vhat about voice activation?" Medic asked. "Ve could say a certain phrase to get inside."

"That has the same flaw as the number code," said Engineer.

"What about scannin' our eyes or somethin'?" asked Scout. "Robots can't copy dat, right?"

"Exactly," Engineer agreed. "But then our Scoutbot cain't get in or out."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

The Texan sighed. "I ain't gonna argue about this, Stretch."

"Never asked ya to."

"Maybe ve're zhinking about zhis all wrong," Medic interrupted, breaking up the argument before it could begin. "It seems obvious to me zhat ve're not going to come up vizh any new defenses. So vhat if ve focused on zhe vuns ve already have? Ve're all avare of vhat our main defense is, ja?"

A smile crept its way to Engineer's lips. "I like your line of thinkin', doc."

"Wrrb? Wrrb brrph hrr mrrn?" Pyro questioned, tilting his head.

"Vhat?" Medic asked about the same time Sniper asked, "Wot?"

"He's talkin' about the doors," Engineer explained, his speech growing quicker in his building excitement. "The way it is now, it opens and closes automatically when it scans our biosignatures. It works sorta like the Capture Points did, in a way. Problem is, it's got nothin' holdin' it down, so if ya can wedge somethin' underneath it, say your fingers, then it cain't stop anythin' from gettin' in. And that's where our problem is. All we gotta do is install some heavy-duty locks!"

"And what about da Scoutbot?" Scout asked. All heads turned to the robot in question, lost in the heated conversation. It jumped, noticing that everyone was staring at it, and hesitantly pointed at itself in confusion.

"It's just gotta stay close to one of us," Engineer answered simply.

"So we can still go out and play ball and stuff?" Scout asked hopefully.

"Uhh, no," the Scoutbot answered.

"Not a chance," Sniper affirmed.

"Oh, yeah," the Bostonian said sheepishly. "Guess dat hadn't gone too well, huh? Well, what if we were _really_ careful?"

" _No,_ " Sniper snapped.

"Alrighty then," said Engineer, changing the subject. "I'll just make a few calls and get this cleared with the higher-ups. Then we'll see how things go."

"Kinda dumb dat somethin' like dis's gotta be authorized," Scout grumbled.

It would be another week before anyone got back to the mercenaries on the matter of installing an automated locking system. During that time, the mercs had to fight another battle, their paranoia growing all the while. Engineer had the foresight to build a crude communication device for the Scoutbot, just in case. It fit under the cover of its headset, the mic snaking its way across the robot's fake one. The device ran on a small but potent battery, so it didn't interfere with the Scoutbot's systems, and thus wouldn't melt it down.

The Texan asked the robot to watch over the base while the mercenaries were away, and told it to inform one of them via the device if anything or anyone got inside that wasn't the mercs themselves. If its power dropped below fifteen percent, it was to stand behind the counter in either Resupply Room and wait for someone to refill it. It might have been paranoid of him to take such a precaution, as voiced by a certain Aussie, but Engineer felt that he had good reason to worry in this situation. Thankfully, it wasn't necessary, as the only things he heard from the Scoutbot's end were either its footsteps, or a Scout-like grunt if it tripped or bumped into something.

A few hours after the battle had ended, a pale, modest car pulled up behind the base, about five feet away from Sniper's camper van. The bushman jolted awake, startled out of his uneasy rest, and searched for the kukri stashed under his pillow. Once he'd found it, he nudged the camper door open to investigate the odd rumbling noise by his van. He stopped in the doorway, immediately recognizing the car, as well as the petite woman that came out of it.

"Oh, Sniper. You're, uh... You're up," Miss Pauling noted, surprised to find him in nothing but his pants. After a moment, she composed herself, continuing in a more clinical voice. "I assume you know why I'm here. Get dressed and meet me in the eastern Resupply Room. Please."

Sniper blinked a few times, still slow from having just woken up and realizing he was only half-dressed. "Roight away, ma'am. I won't be long."

Nodding, Miss Pauling headed for the base's entrance, glancing towards the battlefield before going inside. From there, she pressed a small button on her watch, and the carrier alarm instantly started blaring. Within a couple of minutes, the mercenaries charged as one into the Resupply Room, each in varying states of wakefulness, then stopped when they saw Miss Pauling waiting for them, sitting on the counter. She pressed the button again, and the alarm cut itself off, Sniper jogging in seconds later with a quiet curse.

"Morning, guys!" Pauling chirped. "Or is it night? It's pretty early, I mean, but... It doesn't matter. Thank you for coming quickly. I'm here to finalize the decision regarding the request to add a locking system to the doors. Personally, I'm all for it, but you know how stuff like this goes."

"Oh, no, I understand _completely,_ " Scout drawled, not at all paying attention. "I'm just... I'm glad ya stopped by. It's been too long!"

Miss Pauling smiled, but only for a moment. "That's so sweet! But back to business. Before we get started, Engineer, you said you have someone staying here with you?"

"More like some _zhing,_ " Medic said under his breath.

Engineer shot him a look, then said, "Yeah, I'll go fetch him now, let him know you're here." Then he was out the hallway door.

"Whoi's it a 'he' all of a sudden?" Sniper asked, smirking. Soldier grunted and shrugged.

"I'm not sure what that means," Pauling said, "but I'm suddenly _very_ uneasy about this 'guest...'"

"Don't worry, Miss Pauling!" Scout assured her, trying to sneak an arm around her. "I swear, everythin's cool!"

Miss Pauling scooted out of his reach when Engineer returned, holding the door slightly ajar. "Before ya meet him, I'll ask ya to please try not to shoot him, because I'm sure this is gonna look pretty bad."

"This _really_ isn't helping," Miss Pauling sighed, but she neatly folded her hands in her lap, away from the pistol at her hip. Nodding in satisfaction, Engineer ducked behind the door again, whispering something quickly. A few seconds later, he came back, this time with the Scoutbot nervously trailing behind him. It met Miss Pauling's eyes despite how anxious it was.

There was silence for a very long time, and the Scoutbot started to fidgeting. "Uhh..."

Smiling pleasantly, Miss Pauling drew her eyes away from the robot to look at Engineer. "You better have a _really_ good explanation for why you have one of his robots with you," she hissed.

Engineer laughed nervously. "Yeah, it looks bad, don't it? Well, it's a long and interestin' story-"

"Keep it short. We have other things to do."

And so the Texan explained everything, with one of the other mercs occasionally throwing something in. He talked about how he found the Scoutbot, how it seemed different from the others, everything up until the point that the Demoknight had opened the door.

"So," he finished, "the Scoutbot ain't a bad fella, and has even helped us out a few times. It wants all this to be over, just like we do."

"Notice how he starts usin' 'it' again soon as she's used to it?" Sniper commented. Scout elbowed him in the side, then darted out of reach as the bushman tried to retaliate.

"...And you trust the Scoutbot?" Pauling clarified.

"Completely," Engineer answered.

Miss Pauling chewed her lips in thought, then exhaled. "I'm not sure that I'm at all okay with this, but I suppose we all have to live with it now. So, on to the issue with the doors-"

She was interrupted when the Scoutbot suddenly stuck its hand out to her, startling her enough that her hand jumped to the gun at her hip. The robot snatched its own hand away, scared, but then it tried again, this time slower. "Miss Pauling... I'm... Bucket o' Bolts. Nice to meet ya."

"Oh!" Miss Pauling gasped. "Um..."

As Scout snorted with laughter, Engineer stammered, "That's not... That ain't your name, son."

"Are ve really _naming_ it?!" Medic exclaimed, while Pyro clapped and cheered.

"Tin Can," the Scoutbot tried, withdrawing its hand and tilting its head.

Now Scout was braying with laughter. "You're just Scoutbot," Engineer insisted.

"I actually rather loiked the Tin Can one," Sniper commented.

"No way, man!" Scout squeaked between snorts. "Scoutbot, ya name's Leslie! No, Jenny!"

"Jenny," the Scoutbot said.

"Can we please get back on track?" Miss Pauling interrupted. Everyone quieted down. "Okay. So first, I think we should discuss the ways the doors can be breached before we decide how and where the locks will be placed..."

For the next hour, the mercenaries discussed the finer details, then spent the next four designing, building, and installing the locks. Like before, they opened when they detected a human presence, but now, they couldn't be opened _unless_ there was a human present, thanks to the system built into the floor that held them in place. Satisfied that the job was done, Miss Pauling fought off Scout's attempts at flirting and drove off.

That done, the mercenaries got their much-needed rest.

* * *

 **IMPORTANT NOTE: Wow, I might have just opened up a can of worms here, huh? Now that it's come up in-story, the Scoutbot might have to be named soon. And I have no idea what to name it! Therefore, I want to come up with a list of possible names. If you have any ideas, feel free to let me know. I might just end up using it! ;)**

 **How obvious is it that I've never tried to write Miss Pauling before? Besides the fact that I've given her one or two other lines throughout all of my TF2 stories. I'm afraid I might have made her less "I'm goofy and innocent, let's bury a body," and more "I'm very serious and- Ooh, something shiny!"**

 **As I try to subtly wean off of Pyro-ese:**

 **"What? What does he mean?"**

 **Thank you all for reading, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!**


	16. Joy

**I'm running out of words that end in Y for the chapter titles. XD**

 **Wow, I was NOT expecting to be offered so many names. Thank you all so much for sending them! I've decided on a name, and the individual thanks and some notes will be down below. Also, I was a bit surprised to see how many of you sent female names. I suppose robots don't technically have genders, but it still came as a surprise, considering the Scoutbot was modeled after Scout, a guy. Still, I appreciate all of the ideas you guys sent me, even if I didn't choose yours. Thank you!**

 **Prepare yourselves for a range of different feels. At least, I hope I achieved the "feel" effect here. Enjoy!**

* * *

Engineer was about to head to his room to turn in for the night- or day, he supposed- when he heard heavy footsteps approaching from behind him. Hand on the doorknob, he turned his head and saw the Scoutbot a short ways down the hallway. Or rather, its glowing eyes; most of the other mercs were in bed already, and despite the fact that it was just about noon, the base was very dark with all the lights off. Still, Engineer could tell by the robot's barely-perceptible movements that it was quivering slightly.

Instantly figuring that something was wrong, the Texan glanced down the hallway both ways before opening his door. "Here, you'd best come in."

After a few seconds, the Scoutbot walked inside, Engineer ushering it in. It was still shaking, but it didn't hit the doorframe on the way in, so he hoped that that was a good sign.

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Engineer whirled on the Scoutbot. "Was Sniper givin' you a hard time again? Or was it Medic? He's been awful quiet lately."

The shaking abruptly stopped, and the Scoutbot blinked a few times. After a moment, it shook its head. "No... Nothin'. Name's Jenny!"

Engineer frowned. "Are ya upset with Scout again?"

"Uhh, no!" The Scoutbot cried, shaking its head more urgently. "Ain't..." It paused, about to tap its throat, but it stopped halfway. "...pissed. Ain't... pissed."

The Texan's frown deepened. He'd have to talk with Scout. It wouldn't do for the Scoutbot to use foul language just because the runner never bothered to watch his own mouth. "Then why are ya shakin' so dang much?"

"What...? Uh..." The robot blinked a few times, apparently not having realized that it had been shaking at all. It looked down and drummed its digits against its legs, trying to find a way to describe how it felt. "Feel... good. Good... uh..." It tried to snap its fingers, but because one was as wide as three, it looked more like a flick. "Happy."

"Happy, huh?" Engineer chuckled. "And what's got ya in such a good mood?"

"Name's! Name's Jenny!"

"Ya like the name Jenny?" Engineer asked. The Scoutbot- Jenny?- nodded enthusiastically. "Well, it's nice ya got a name ya like, but wouldn't ya prefer one that's a little less... girly?"

"Miss Pauling," the robot blurted out. "Girls."

"Yeah, exactly." The Texan rubbed his chin in thought. "I think I can come up with somethin' you'd like a little better..."

(...)

That night, everyone's circadian rhythms were completely out of whack. Medic was the first to wake up, sitting at the kitchen table with the largest mug of coffee he could find. Pyro and Sniper awoke at about the same time, the latter only coming in to brew a pot of decaf and leave. The next one up was Scout, and the first thing he did upon entering the kitchen was down about half a can of Atomic Punch. Once he was properly awake, he pondered over the can before wisely putting the rest back in the fridge. Then came Soldier, acting like he hadn't slept in days, which he hadn't. Because Engineer was the last one to get to sleep, he was also the last one to the kitchen.

Moments before the Texan entered the kitchen, Scout, Medic, Soldier, and Pyro heard loud footsteps quickly approaching. They warily turned towards the hallway, and suddenly the Scoutbot was barreling into the room. Scout and Medic both yelled in shock.

"Name's! Name's! Name's!" the robot cried out, running around the room like a blurry metal tornado. It crashed into the fridge, staggered back, and started darting from mercenary to mercenary, first approaching Scout and enveloping him in a huge hug.

"Name's Mal!" the Scoutbot cried, releasing the confused Bostonian and rushing to Soldier, giving him an equally crushing hug. "Name's Mal!" It ran to Medic, who gave it a look, and it tactfully avoided him on its way to Pyro. "Name's Mal!"

It was then that Engineer trudged into the kitchen, yawning, only to laugh as the mercs all gave the Scoutbot bewildered looks, while the robot darted to either end of the room shouting "Mal!" over and over.

"Calm down, Mal," the Texan said. "It's too early for this."

The Scoutbot paused, finally noticing that everyone, sans Pyro, was edging away from it. "Ohh... I'm sorry. Name's Mal... though."

"Dude, what da heck was with all dat?!" Scout exclaimed.

"Remember when it didn't know how to address itself to Miss Pauling, and you joked that its name was Jenny?"

"Uh... Yeah...?"

"Well, as it turns out," Engineer explained, "it liked the idea of havin' a name, so I gave it a proper one, and that seemed to make it happy. Ya wouldn't _believe_ how long it took for me to convince it to wait 'til y'all woke up to tell ya! It's been practicin' all night! Or day, I suppose."

"Rr phrrb Jrrnrr wrrph rr nrrph nrrm," Pyro pouted. Scout snorted.

"Name's Mal... now," Mal told the firebug. "Jenny... girls... name's."

"But you are not a male or a female," Medic pointed out. "You're a robot. So vhat does it matter?"

"Mal," the Scoutbot insisted.

"I thought your name was Scoutbot," Soldier said.

"Mal!"

"Alright, everyone, take it easy," said Engineer, waving his hands in a calming gesture. "If it wants to be called Mal, then what's it gonna hurt to call it Mal?"

"Course you're happy," Scout grumbled. "You're da one who came up widdit..."

Mal wordlessly sifted through the fridge until it found the brand-new carton of eggs, and got everything set up as Engineer asked, "Does anyone know where Down Under is? He oughta know, too."

"He's out keeping vatch," Medic answered. "Again."

"Dat's about all he eva does anymore, is stand out dere," Scout added. "I mean, would it kill him to talk, and be friendly, and act like a normal human being for once?"

"Scout!" Engineer shouted. "That ain't a nice thing to say!"

"Yeah!" Mal threw in.

"Neither was that, Mal."

"I'm sorry."

"It's true, though..." Scout muttered.

By now, the oven was nice and hot, so Mal walked around the room, asking each mercenary, "Wanna... eggs?" Scout declined, if only because he was afraid his would get burnt again, but everyone else was quite happy to get breakfast without having to make it themselves. Within minutes, everyone had an egg that was anywhere between "misshapen" and "a little too crispy on the edges." As an afterthought, Mal made one more and put it on a plate before leaving the room with it. The robot came back a few seconds later to grab a fork, then it left again, only to return when it remembered it couldn't open the door anymore.

"I'll get it," Scout offered, standing up. "I'm da only one not eatin' anyway."

Scout went to the Resupply Room with Mal, but waited inside as the robot stepped out. It went around the hatch and up the short flight of stairs to Sniper's favorite roost. The bushman had his back to Mal, scoped in on the battlefield below. The robot stepped closer, right onto a creaking board.

In half a second, Sniper whipped around, rifle now pointed directly at Mal. The poor robot, scared out of its wits, raised the plate in a meager attempt to protect itself, leaving the egg dangling half-off the plate.

"Exhaling harshly, Sniper lowered the rifle, looking quite irritated. "Bloody hell, I almost shot ya. I'm still thinkin' about doin' it."

"Please... don't," said Mal, lowering the plate and nudging the egg back onto it with one finger. "Here. Eggs."

The Aussie wrinkled his nose at the offering. "'M not hungry."

Mal thought for a moment, then edged closer. Sniper's hand instinctively inched towards the kukri at his belt, but the Scoutbot simply placed the egg on the ledge near him before backing away. It stared at Sniper expectantly.

The Aussie groaned. "Okay, now leave me be. I've got better things to do than humor you."

Mal blinked at him. "Shoulda said... thanks."

"Whoi?" Sniper asked. "You were built to serve people, roight? Not to be thanked for it. And if you aren't servin' Gray, then you're servin' us. So do wot I say and leave. Me. _Alone._ "

Mal staggered back, shocked. Its eyes dimmed, and it turned on its heel and stormed off, nearly tripping down the stairs as it did. Head twitching, it rapped on the door to let Scout know it was back. As soon as the door slid open, it stomped past without a word, through the kitchen, down the hallway, and into the workshop, where it sat down and sulked.

"Rrph Mrr rrkrr?" Pyro asked worriedly.

"Yeah, what got into it, huh?" added Scout. "It seemed... I dunno, stiff?"

Engineer sighed, looking reluctantly down at his half-finished breakfast. "I'll go talk to it. Stretch probably said somethin' to upset it again."

"Well, no shit," Scout grunted.

"Scout, language," Engineer said exasperatedly.

"Hey, I'm twenty-seven years old. I can drink, vote, and legally have sex with hot chicks. Ya can't tell me I ain't allowed to swear."

Not in the mood to argue with the Bostonian, Engineer set his egg on the table. "I'll be back in a jiffy. No one eat my egg, got it?" Without waiting for a response, the Texan left the room to hopefully cheer up Mal.

As soon as he was gone, Scout was eyeing the relatively decent-looking egg, and he scarfed it while everyone else gaped or stared at him in open shock. His eyes shifted until they landed on Pyro. "Dude, why'd ya eat Hardhat's egg?"

"Hrr?!"

* * *

 **In which Scout sums up a forgotten aspect of his character in three short sentences.**

 **So yeah, I went with Mal. Thank you, DemonsPain88! The reason I went with yours was because it's a name that many humans have, and the quote it comes from also fits the Scoutbot, in a way. I made it so that Engie actually called him Malakai, but Mal was as much as the Scoutbot could say, so Mal it is! Thank you again! Some reasons I didn't pick the other names was because either they wouldn't suit it, they were too cumbersome to type constantly, or they were already headcanon names for some of the mercs. For example, Bobby/Bob is the name I'd use for the BLU Scout. I actually once thought about Xavier being the name of one of the Spies, so I looked up the meaning, and it actually suits the Scoutbot very well. I almost picked it, but the Scoutbot wouldn't have been able to say it. Still, thank you all for your entries!**

 **Pyro-ese, because I'm trying to give Pyro lines again:**

 **"I thought Jenny was a nice name..."**

 **"Is Mal okay?"**

 **"Huh?!"**

 **So I hope you guys liked this one, even if Sniper just devolved from jerkass-ness to supreme disrespectfulness. See you next time!**


	17. Angry

**Hey, guys! Welcome back!**

 **Not much to say, except that this one might be a bit shorter. Also, this chapter has quite a bit of pointless swearing. Guess who the culprit is. Go on, guess.**

* * *

Engineer didn't get far down the hallway, for Mal had apparently taken to pacing up and down it. It made sense; there definitely wasn't enough floor space in the workshop for it. Still, the Texan had never seen the Scoutbot pace before. Whatever Sniper must have said or done must have really upset the poor thing.

"Mal," Engineer tried. The robot stopped abruptly, looking at him. "...Ya doin' alright there? Ya seem a lil' upset."

To Engineer's surprise, Mal made a harsh noise somewhat resembling a bark before shaking its head and going right back to its pacing, glaring at its feet all the while. It seemed like a remarkably human response, the Texan noted. "Mal, tell me what happened."

"Snipes!" it yelled, the word barely recognizable through the thick static. "Bag o' shit! Damn! Shit! Fuck!"

"I'm gonna have to stop you right there," Engineer interrupted. "I don't care how terrible it was, I know you have other words you can use than a bunch of swears."

"FUCK!"

" _Mal!_ " The Scoutbot jerked back as if it had been electrocuted. It knew that it had screwed up, but it couldn't bring itself to care. So instead of apologizing, it leaned forwards, its eyes dim, and it was quite clear that it was glaring.

Engineer chose then to remember that this robot did, in fact, have something of a rebellious streak. Despite that, he was stunned that it would behave in such a way. "Now there ain't no reason for that kind of attitude!" To even more of his astonishment, Mal idled right then and there, in the middle of the hallway.

The Texan's mouth hung open in shock. He just couldn't believe it. The robot was acting like a spoiled child! There was absolutely no reason for that kind of behavior. Still, there was nothing he could do about it at the moment, although he was definitely locking it in the workshop when it decided to wake up. Throwing up his arms in defeat, Engineer turned and walked back into the kitchen.

"So, what's da problem?" Scout asked once he stepped through the doorway.

"It decided to throw a temper tantrum," the Texan replied shortly. "It's refusin' to talk."

"I can get it to talk!" Soldier exclaimed perhaps a little too excitedly. "I am good at that!"

Engineer looked at little uneasy at that. "I... don't think that's necessary."

"Who knows?" Medic shrugged. "It might be fun to vatch. Ve could use zhe entertainment, couldn't ve?"

"Why don't I give it a shot?" Scout offered, completely ignoring the doctor. "It likes me well enough, I think. I bet I could get it to tell me what's up."

After a moment of thought, Engineer sighed. "Boys, I sure hope ya know what you're doin'."

"But _I_ know what I am doing," Soldier insisted.

"Yes, but Scout's mezhod is less likely to involve torture," Medic pointed out.

"Torture is that water thing that the Chinese do. I do not do that."

Medic, Soldier, and probably Pyro were left to continue that conversation as Scout and Engineer went into the hallway, finding that Mal was still standing in the middle of it.

"Wow, it's really doin' dis?" The runner asked in disbelief, gesturing at the robot. "Right in da middle of da freakin' hallway?"

"Eeyup," Engineer replied, putting his hands on his hips. "Whatever it was that Sniper did, apparently it was so upsettin' that Mal found it appropriate to curse up a storm and shut itself down."

"Then how am I s'posed to talk to it if it turned itself off?"

"Oh, don't worry, it can still hear ya. I just cain't guarantee it'll listen."

Scout huffed, but he tried talking anyway. "Hey Scoutbot- er, Mal, wake up," he told it. Of course, there was no answer. The runner tried snapping his fingers by the robot's... lack of an ear, and still nothing. So he grabbed it by the shoulders and shook it, hard. In regular Mal fashion, it woke up, screeched, and crashed unceremoniously to the floor.

Engineer swatted the back of Scout's head. "Scout! What'd ya got and do that for?!"

Before he could answer, Mal scrambled to its feet, its face inches from Scout's, eyes flaring. "What da hell's your guys's _problem?!_ "

Scout backed away several steps, hands raised in surrender. "Woah, chill out, man! Ya weren't listenin' to me, but _dat_ got your attention, didn't it?"

Before the Scoutbot could formulate an angry and likely colorful response, Engineer stepped in. "Look, Mal. All we wanna do is find out what happened, and I'd rather hear it from you, honestly. Between you and me, I think you'd give me somethin' closer to the truth than Sniper would."

At first, Engineer thought that Mal wasn't going to answer when it tilted its head off to one side. Its eyes were flickering rapidly, and he hoped that meant it was thinking. It took some time, but it did finally answer, its voice switching between Scout's and Sniper's.

"Okay, now leave me be. I've got better things to do than humor you."

A pause. "...Shoulda said... thanks."

"Whoi? You were built to serve people, roight? Not to be thanked for it. And if you aren't servin' Gray, then you're servin' us. So do wot I say and leave. Me. _Alone._ "

...Well, it didn't get much truer than a recording, did it?

Mal had taken to crossing its arms. Engineer quietly stared, and Scout gaped. "Wow, I mean, what a dick!" the Bostonian exclaimed. Engineer gave him a look. "Er, jerk. What a jerk."

"Yeah! What a dick!" Mal agreed. It hesitated. "...What's... dick?"

"Ohh, no. I ain't explainin' dat shit," Scout groaned.

"It don't matter right now," Engineer cut him off. "The fact is, that was a terrible thing for him to say, but he ain't gonna apologize just 'cause we ask him to. We gotta wait for him to do it on his own."

"Fuck... er!" Mal cried, kicking one foot out.

"I swear to God, Mal, if you don't stop cursin' _right now_ you're sittin' in the workshop 'til you're ready to behave," Engineer warned. The robot stared at him with dim eyes, but it didn't say anything.

"...Did you really just threaten it with a time-out?" Scout asked. "Over a little swearin'?"

"I did, and you'd better start watchin' your own mouth," the Texan replied. "I don't want it pickin' up the habit, and I _also_ don't want it cursin' just 'cause it doesn't have anythin' else it can use."

"I ain't gonna promise nothin'," Scout said quietly, pouting.

"Sniper's... a jerk," Mal said, wanting to say something but not get locked in the workshop.

"Sadly, yeah, but that's just the way he is," Engineer agreed.

"So Mal, ya ready to stop bein' a grump or what?" asked Scout. "Py's worried about ya. I bet it'd cheer him up if he saw ya."

Mal still wasn't really in the mood to be around people, but Pyro seemed genuinely nice, at least. Plus, it was a bit worried that it'd be locked away if it said no; Engineer made it clear that they'd only tolerate its behavior for so long. So after a moment of thought, the Scoutbot slowly nodded.

Both mercs smiled, and Engineer motioned for Mal to follow him as they walked back into the kitchen. Pyro was the only one still there, looking down and twiddling his thumbs, having apparently been waiting for Scout and Engineer to come back. When he heard the small group's footsteps, he looked up, head tilted in curiosity. Not sure what to do with the masked merc staring at it, Mal offered a small, awkward wave.

Suddenly Pyro lunged, enveloping Mal in a tight bear hug. The robot nearly fell over, but it was starting to expect things like this from the clingy firebug. "Mrr! Rrm phrr grrb yrr phrrhrrn brrphrr!"

"Yeah, yeah, thanks," grumbled Mal, trying to wriggle out of Pyro's grip. It was quickly released, but Pyro continued to stare and giggle. Scout was right; the firebug definitely seemed happier.

Seconds later, Sniper strode in, his rifle slung over his shoulder. He didn't pay any mind to the four others in the kitchen staring at him. His back turned to them, the bushman tossed an empty plate into the sink, not bothering to wash it, and left the room without a word as quickly as he came. When he was gone, Pyro tilted his head, Engineer frowned and sighed, and both Scouts glared at the doorway, one being more vocal than the other.

Engineer had said that Sniper would come around, but after so much time, it seemed to Mal that he was forever going to be suspicious and angry. Mal decided that it no longer gave a shit.

* * *

 **In which Scout is thoughtful, and Mal is completely fed up with Sniper's bullshit. Who actually thought that precious little Scootboot had such a potty mouth? Remember who it gets its speech from...**

 **I wrote the scene hoping to get Pyro to talk more, but there's still only one translateable line.**

 **"Mal! I'm so glad you're feeling better!"**

 **So I hope you guys continue to enjoy the story and hate Sniper's guts! Seriously, it cracks me up when you get creative with your roasts. XD**


	18. Sneaky

**Semi-important note: This chapter has a bit of an awkward beginning that might not be clear. You might think, "When the heck did this happen?!" Don't worry, I'll be posting a oneshot that takes place between this chapter and the last one. Really, it could stand to be its own chapter, but I thought it was going to be too short when I started on it, so be aware of the time skip. It will be filled in, probably tomorrow or the day after.**

 **On another note, I'm making a flipnote that I plan to post over the weekend. I realized that, out of the flipnotes I've started on, none of them are happy ones. In fact, most of them are more like, "This is a comedy, and Sniper hits Mal with a kukri. Funny, right?" Terrible, I know, but a happy flipnote is on its way!**

 **Also, woohoo, this is officially the longest story I've ever written, be it typed or on paper, finished or unfinished. Thank you so much for all of your support in getting me this far! :'D**

* * *

The following few weeks were remarkably ordinary, as far as ordinary goes with six mercenaries and a robot involved in a secret war. Ever since that day when Sniper managed to truly offend Mal, the Scoutbot tried to avoid him like the plague. Unfortunately, the Aussie had decided that he enjoyed bossing it around for the pettiest of things, usually having it make food and bring it to him outside. This only lasted a week, up until he found an entire raw egg, crushed shell and all, in the turkey sandwich that he so kindly demanded. After a long shouting match that almost resulted in an all-out brawl, the two agreed to socialize as little as possible.

After that, it was safe to say that Engineer wouldn't let Mal out of his sight.

Uneasy but satisfied that Sniper wasn't going to antagonize Mal any time soon, Engineer was able to sit and work peacefully in his workshop, leaving his mind free to wander to other things. The matter of the robots' sudden intelligence continued to bother him, even now. Since the incident with the Demoknight, there had been no other attempts to break inside. None. And the Texan just couldn't be relieved by that. Why would they only try to get inside once?

The easiest assumption to make was Medic's initial theory: Gray wanted to scare them. But he was never one to rely on psychological warfare; he much preferred tangible results. The next possibility was that he wanted to sneak something out. Personal belongings, blueprints, Respawn technology, it could be just about anything. It was highly unlikely, though. Nothing had been missing besides some chunks of sheetrock from the walls. So if he didn't want to scare them, and he wasn't trying to smuggle anything out, then perhaps he'd been trying to smuggle something _in._

And if he hasn't tried to open the door again, then he must have succeeded.

"Well, son of a bitch..." Engineer muttered, dropping whatever he had been working on.

Mal, who had been watching the Texan work with mild interest, perked up. If Engineer was saying a word worse than "damn," then it must have been something bad. "Yo whassup, Hardhat?"

The Texan paused, briefly surprised that there was barely a pause in the robot's speech, even though it had been getting better at it over the weeks. "I gotta warn everyone. Somethin' bad might be happenin', and... C'mon, I'll explain on the way."

Sensing Engineer's urgency, Mal quickly nodded, following the Texan as he left the workshop to find the other mercs as soon as possible. Like promised, he explained as he went, his speech rushed. "Now I hope I'm wrong, but I think somethin' might be in the base. I don't know what, but if it's there, we need to find it as soon as we can, and see if anythin's been sabotaged."

"Ahh, crap. Dat's terrible," the Scoutbot murmured.

"Yeah," Engineer agreed, stopping to knock on Medic's door. "I'm concerned that whatever it is might try to tamper with Respawn. And if that happens..." He shook his head. "If that happens, then it'd be safe to say that Gray wins."

Mal tried to be contemplatively silent, but right then Medic answered his door, blinking in surprise when he saw the pair. "Herr Engineer, Scoutbot, vhat brings you here?"

Mal huffed, irritated that the doctor wouldn't use its name, but Engineer chose to ignore it, opting to get straight to the point. "You remember when the giant robot opened the door a while back. I think it let somethin' inside."

"Ja, a horde of robots," Medic replied dryly, wondering why he was bringing this up again now.

"Besides that. Notice how none of 'em have tried to get in since then? Gray must've gotten what he wanted. Somethin' might still be in here, and we need to find it before somethin' bad happens because of it."

Medic frowned at the Texan's breathless rant, not sure if what he said was true or not. If something was really in the base somewhere, wouldn't something have happened already? And surely they would have noticed something unusual by now. Even so, they'd all learned the hard way that underestimating Gray was a bad idea. Maybe Engineer had a point. If there _was_ something, then perhaps it knew how to not be found. Perhaps, it was waiting for the right time to strike, like a... like a...

"A Spybot."

Engineer pulled a face, and the doctor imagined that his eyes were wide behind his goggles. The Texan promptly jumped, and Medic did the same. Both mercenaries turned to the confused Scoutbot as one.

"Jump," Engineer said.

"What?" asked Mal, glancing between both mercs' stern faces.

"Just do it, Mal!" The robot seemed to understand, nodding before it hopped in place. Engineer and Medic both relaxed somewhat.

Engineer quickly turned back to Medic, his voice filled with urgency. "Doc, round up the others, explain what's goin' on. I'll check on Respawn, make sure it hasn't been tampered with." All Medic could do was nod before the Texan was off like a stout rocket, Mal hot on his heels.

As quickly as they could, the two dashed down the hallway, through the kitchen, and went left, towards one of the Resupply Rooms. Once there, Engineer pulled out his wrench, his head swiveling to and fro. "You're a robot. Do ya see a cloaked Spybot anywhere?" Mal, perplexed by the question, didn't see anything out of the ordinary, so it shook its head. Satisfied, Engineer put the wrench away, hurrying to the middle of the room, where he lifted a few of the floorboards, revealing a short flight of stairs. The Texan motioned for Mal to follow him as he took the first steps down.

It was incredibly dark beneath the base, but Mal's lights were enough to see a few steps ahead. It took about half a minute to descend, then the floor leveled out. After a very short walk, natural light crept in from a few slits in the ceiling above them. They were beneath the hatch. "Terrible design, I know. But _I_ didn't build this place."

The two walked a little farther, and Mal laid eyes on one of the most impressive machines it had ever seen. It towered over them at nearly twenty feet tall, and was vaguely cylindrical in shape. All around it was a mass of cords and wires, some attached to smaller bits of machinery, others looping back to connect elsewhere on the machine itself. At equal intervals around it, there were metallic pods clinging to its surface with formidable-looking bolts, and each pod bore a keyboard with countless lights, buttons, and dials. Mal wondered if a Mecha Engineer would be able to make sense of it all.

The flesh-and-blood Engineer, though, seemed unfazed by Respawn's impressiveness. He rushed to one of the pods, pressing buttons and flicking switches with dizzying speed. The only time he paused was to read whatever was presented on a tiny screen that Mal had thought was another button. Whatever it said must have been good, because the Texan nodded and moved on to the next pod, tapping away as madly as with the first. He did the same thing with every pod on the giant machine. The entire process took a few minutes, and they were some of the most nerve-wracking minutes of Mal's short life.

Finally, Engineer stepped away from the machine, letting out a long, shaky sigh. "Good. At least Respawn hasn't been messed with. C'mon, let's search the base with the others. Your eyes would be a huge help."

Mal didn't think its eyes would be any more useful than anyone else's- if anything, they were worse; no object or person existed that it would be able to recognize from a certain distance- but it nodded anyway, and the pair turned around and headed up the stairs, where Engineer replaced the floorboards once they were out. Mal didn't care what the Texan said, it thought that Respawn had a _great_ hiding place. Even knowing which floorboards to lift, it had a hard time recognizing them among the others. It didn't think that a Spybot would know that there was an entrance there.

Mal and Engineer went into the base proper, inspecting every square inch for any signs of a cloaked robot. Any time they ran into another mercenary, everyone present would jump, and they would move on. Even Sniper had joined in on the search, and he took the threat so seriously that he didn't even _try_ to pick a fight with Mal. Everyone was thankful for that.

It must have taken over an hour to thoroughly search the base to the mercenaries' satisfaction. Even so, they congregated in the kitchen to discuss the matter, jumping to ensure that no one among them was a Spy.

"Respawn seems to be safe," Engineer started off. "No Sappers, no misplaced code, nothin'."

"Has anyone even found any evidence of the robot?" Sniper inquired, glaring around the room suspiciously.

"There are many credits missing from behind the counters," Soldier reported.

"Vell, ve _do_ have a Scoutbot staying vizh us," Medic reminded the American.

"My name's Mal," the robot huffed angrily, crossing its arms. It was annoying how often it had to remind others that it had a name!

"Do we even know that there _is_ a Spybot around here?" Sniper demanded shortly. "I don't care how good they are at cloakin', we shoulda seen _some_ soign if one was around. They all have standard watches. That gives 'em, wot, eight seconds? Ten?"

"...Well, I didn't know for sure that there was one," Engineer admitted. "But with everythin' that's-"

"Wot?!" Sniper shrieked, straightening intimidatingly from his defiant slouch against the doorframe. "You sent us all on some woild goose chase when there was nothin' to foind?!"

"You forget zhe nature of a Spy," Medic cut in, shooting the Aussie a stern glare. "Zhey could be zhere, but zhey also might not be. It vould be foolish to not consider zhe possibility, especially considering zhat zhe robots are demonstrating new skills. Also, I recall zhat you've died several times to zhe RED Spy simply because you never bozhered to check for him." Sniper flushed all the way to the tips of his ears, spluttering in a barely-contained mixture of fury and embarrassment. But as he had nothing to say to that, he was left to silently fume while the doctor smirked to himself. Mal chuckled as quietly as it could manage.

"Rr krrn yrrph mrr Rrmbrrhrr," Pyro offered. "Phrrn hrr brr rrphrr phr phrrnb."

"No way," Scout said. "You'd burn da entire base down tryin' to find it." Pyro pouted, but he nodded, agreeing that the others didn't like it when the sparkles got too bright. He figured that it hurt their eyes.

"Okay, so we don't know if a Spybot's here or not," Scout summarized, "so assumin' dere _is_ one, what're we gonna do about it? It ain't like we can just torch da place and smoke it out or nothin'."

"Also, it vould be safest to assume zhat zhis vun is different from zhe ozhers ve've seen so far," Medic added. "If it can happen vizh a Scoutbot, and it can happen vizh an Uberbot, zhen zhere is no reason to zhink zhat it couldn't happen vizh zhe ozhers. Vhat kind of dummkopfs vould ve be if ve didn't even consider it?"

"You got a point there, doc," Engineer agreed. "But there's one thing Gray might not have considered.

"Say that your Spy was standin' in that corner over there, cloaked," he went on. "I wouldn't be able to see him, but you sure as hell could."

"I do not see where this is going," Soldier supplied helpfully.

But oh, God, Mal knew _exactly_ where this train of thought was going...

Engineer clapped the now-jittery robot on the back, flashing it a hopeful smile. "Mal, think you can do us all a mighty big favor?"

* * *

 **Yeah, so, I think everyone has been a jerk at some point by now.**

 **Pyro-ese:**

 **"I can use my Rainblower. Then he'll be easy to find."**

 **Again, thank you all for your support, and stay tuned for the next chapter (and oneshot)!**


	19. Experimentally

**Welcome back to another chapter! I updated this way sooner than I thought I was going to. I guess I was on a writing kick or something. I feel (and hope) That you guys might like this one. Lots of Mal.**

 **I posted the oneshot, as well as the flipnote. The icon on the flipnote is of Mal, and it might look like it's dancing. It's a pretty upbeat flip, so I hope you guys like it! :)**

 **So, I hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

The wait had been a lot shorter this time around than what the mercenaries were becoming accustomed to. The six of them were out distracting and destroying robots again, and Mal was left to patrol the base in the hopes of finding a Spybot. Or even better, not finding one. And Mal hated every minute of it. But what could it do, say no? By now, it understood that the mercs, or at least most of them, wouldn't try to kill it over the slightest thing. Even so, it definitely wasn't going to be _rewarded_ for speaking out of turn.

But seriously, how could it be expected to find a Spybot? An invisible one, no less? Mal just couldn't understand it. Sure, the mercenaries could see a cloaked Spy on their own team, but that didn't mean that robots could do the same. Mal wasn't even sure if an army counted as a team.

Hey, is that a Spybot over there?

...No, Soldier had just left the kitchen cupboard open again. Mal decided to close it.

If the Scoutbot had to be totally honest with itself, it was terrified. It may have been built for scouting, but it sure as hell wasn't built to scout for things it couldn't see. A few times, it considered trying to run away again, spending up to an hour at a time staring at the side door that had once been blocked off. But then it would remember that running hadn't worked. It would run out of power, and the mercenaries would find it and bring it back. Mal didn't think that they'd take too well to it escaping a second time.

So for the next few hours, the robot tried to find an invisible Spybot that may or may not be there.

 _Oh hey, I'm at 18 percent. I should probably head to a Resupply Room._

Mal decided to go to the right Resupply and wait. It preferred to be active while it did this so that it could watch what was going on outside through the narrow window, but last time it had learned the hard way from Soldier that anyone without a welding glove that tried to insert credits while it was running would suffer serious burns. If it idled beforehand, then at least its chamber would have a chance to cool down somewhat.

Sniper was the first to spawn, grumbling about "bloody goddamn spooks." He was out of Resupply before he even realized Mal was in the room, not that he would have stopped to help anyway. Medic and Scout Respawned at about the same time. Scout was gone even faster than Sniper was, but the doctor stopped at the counter, looking to improve his Medigun, and so he was the one who noticed the waiting Scoutbot.

"Again? It hasn't been zhat long, has it? Oh vell." The German doctor carefully inserted a handful of credits, being mindful of the hot edges of the hatch. Sensing outside stimuli, Mal powered back up, giving a short nod.

"Thanks, doc." Medic didn't answer, but he offered a quick nod of his own before heading out, immediately latching onto Soldier, who had apparently rocket-jumped all the way back to ensure a pocket. Mal watched the two of them as they soared off, then quietly observed as Sniper saved a distracted Scout from a Spybot that was disguised as the Bostonian. Dammit, Sniper, Pyro saw it. He could've fucking handled it.

Deciding it couldn't be bothered to watch the marksman score headshot after headshot- he might have been an insufferable jerk, but there was no denying that he was excellent at his job- Mal turned around and went back into the hallway. It had a job to do, after all.

But when another three hours crawled by with no sign of a Spybot, Mal started to think that it was a pointless endeavor. It had even tried passing a hand over all of the furniture, just in case the robot might have tried climbing. Nothing turned up that Mal didn't recognize as normal for the base. Either the Spybot was intangible, or there just wasn't one in the base.

Well, Mal had done the job that it was _nicely asked_ to do. And as it didn't want to idle for fear of being accused of slacking, it need to find some other way to make use of its time. It estimated that it would be at least another day before the mercenaries got their next break, so cooking was out of the question. It put a finger to its chin in thought, similarly to what it had seen Medic do a few times, and realized that its joints were squeaking. It considered grabbing some oil from the workshop, but not only did it not know exactly where the oil was, it also had no idea where or how much to apply. Maybe it could ask Engineer when he got back? No, it didn't have an audio file for oil.

...Hey, there was an idea. Why couldn't it just make the word? It's done it before. Just to be sure, Mal made sure it still could. "Dismanter'n." Speaking of which, that sounded funny. It was about time that got fixed. What was a word that ended in an "L" sound? It had heard Scout say "I'll," so it was worth a try.

"Dismant... ll." There, that was a little better. Now it needed to make "oil."

Well, oil ended with an "eel" sound, and so did I'll. All it needed to do was put an "oh" in front of it. Oh-eel. "Oh... eel." It sounded a bit strange, but so did most of the things that Mal pieced together. It would have to get Scout to say some of these with the correct "in-toe-nay-shun."

"Hardhat. Oh-eel, please." There we go. That wasn't so bad. "Hardhat. Oh-eel please. Oh-eel. Oweel." It supposed that was as close as it was going to get.

Mal wondered what other words it could make up. It looked around, trying to find something it could say. It walked around, finding its way to the kitchen. Kitchen. Could it say kitchen? Let's see... A domination line with the word "kill;" it had "konnichi wa senpai," although it had no idea what it meant or where it came from; and "in." Yeah, it could work with that. "Ki... ch... in. Kitchen." That was pretty close, actually. "Dere's no Spy in da kitchen." Hey, it was getting pretty good at this!

And thus Mal found a new way to entertain itself.

(...)

After a couple of days and a surprising number of refills for Mal, the mercenaries were able to come inside to eat and rest. When they went into the kitchen to make something to eat, Mal was already there, putting the last of five eggs onto a plate. After so much practice, the eggs were nearly perfect, but as it turned out, the Scoutbot had tried its hand at making toast. Let's just say that it was a good thing that a few of the mercs preferred their toast a little crispy anyway. Everyone, with the exception of Scout, Sniper, and Engineer, left for their rooms with their food, some after thanking the robot. Sniper, knowing that none of the food was meant for him, frowned sourly and started a pot of decaf before leaving the room.

Now that all of the general running-around had stopped, Engineer was able to see that Mal was bouncing on the balls of its feet, and he chuckled before biting into his burnt toast. "What's got ya all excited, Mal?" His face fell. "There ain't no Spybots, are there?"

Mal shook its head, creaking slightly. "No, dere's no Spy. Wanna say somethin'."

"Need me to say it for ya?" Scout offered.

"No," Mal answered. "Wanna say... affer... eggs."

Engineer paused, a fork full of egg halfway to his mouth. "Come again?"

Mal triumphantly puffed out its chest. "Wanna say affer eggs. I said affer."

"Hey, I know what ya doin'!" Scout said, flicking his fork and launching a glob of egg onto the table. "Ya doin' dat thing again! Haven't done dat in a while, man!"

"Dat's not all," Mal bragged. "Kitchen. Dismantle. Oweel. I got it, I got it, I got it!"

"What'd we say about the d-word, Mal?" asked Engineer.

"No. I'm sorry."

"But dude, dat's freakin' great!" Scout exclaimed. "Now you can say all kinds'a stuff!"

"That's fantastic, Mal," Engineer beamed as he swiped the last of his toast through the yolk on his plate. "I can understand why ya might say kitchen, but I gotta ask. Why did ya wanna figure out oil?"

Since it was officially "affer eggs," Mal decided to ask, "Oweel, please." To further clarify, it started making exaggated elbow movements, making it clear how much they were squeaking.

"Oh, sure thing," said Engineer, standing up and rinsing off his plate. "C'mon, I'm sure I've got somethin' in the workshop for ya."

"Oh, and hey Mal," Scout called. The robot turned to him questioningly. "Oil."

Mal laughed a little, nodding. "Oil. Thanks."

Mal and Engineer walked off, and the Texan thought to himself that yeah, it was definitely a good idea to get Mal oiled up. At least it would put an end to that incessant squeaking.

* * *

 **Robot hygiene.**

 **Not much to say here, except that yay, Mal remembered that it can mix and match! Also, I made sure that, out of all the words Mal could make up, there wasn't one that I couldn't tell you which quotes it came from.**

 **Hope to see you guys soon!**


	20. Duplicity

**Welcome back, everyone! There's quite a bit going on in this one. Some of you will love me, some of you will hate me, many of you will love AND hate me, and most of you won't give a shit and will just keep reading the story. I'm fine with all of the above. XD**

 **Remember when I told you guys I posted that happy flipnote? Well, YouTuber Flipnote Hatena was nice and decided to put the flipnote on YouTube! What does this mean? No visual delay and better sound quality! One frame mysteriously goes missing, but that's because Sudomemo GIFs suck. So now, if you want, you guys can watch it with a lot less difficulty! Thanks Hatena!**

 **Also, apparently Mal is a meme or something. It's been called smol, cinnamon roll, and even bot boi, among other things. Quick, go to the meme generator! XD**

 **Okay, now to shut up and vomit a few words. Never mind the contradicting sentence.**

* * *

Once they were in the workshop, Engineer made sure to oil every joint and every moving part on Mal's body. After a little bit of cleaning up, the robot was almost like new again. It experimentally waggled its digits and did a few squats, and it barely made any noise at all. It gave Engineer a double thumbs-up. "Thanks, Hardhat."

"Don't mention it," the Texan replied, beaming. "Oh, and while I have ya, I finally finished that system I was tellin' ya about. Gotta say, I'm sorry about the wait. There were quite a few kinks to work out, and I had to design a way for you to charge on top of it all."

Mal's head gave a short twitch, then the robot made a faint, consistent whirring noise. It hadn't done that in a while. Engineer frowned. "Mal, what's on your mind?"

The Scoutbot slowly reached up, tapping the side of its head with one metal finger. "I'll burn... right? Hardhat, I don't wanna die."

Engineer's frown softened somewhat. "And ya won't. You ain't gonna melt down unless I mess with your processor or try to hack into ya, and I ain't doin' neither. This won't cause any damage, I can promise ya that."

Mal looked up to meet the Texan's eyes. "...Ya sure?"

Engineer smiled. "Positive."

The Scoutbot seemed to process this a little longer, and the whirring came to an abrupt end. "...Alright."

Engineer's smile grew a little wider. "Now I'm gonna have to ask ya to shut yourself down while I do this. I have to remove your current fuel system to install the new one. Are ya alright with that?"

The logic made sense to Mal, so it nodded. "Yeah." The robot's eyes dimmed as it leaned into a slouch, idle. Then its engine died down, and the robot's gentle trembling eased to a stop. It was completely still.

Engineer found it strange to see Mal so motionless, almost unnerving. But he had a job to do, so he rubbed his hands together in anticipation and adjusted his hardhat. "Alrighty then. Time to get to work."

(...)

Mal came to an hour and a half later, and it immediately noticed the change. Normally its engine caused it to shake, which naturally affected its vision and calibration. That wasn't even mentioning the noise it made. But now, its vision wasn't shaking at all, it didn't have any motion to compensate for, and all it could hear was a quiet hum.

Engineer was giving the robot an expectant smile. "So, how is it? I went with electric."

Mal pushed itself into a sitting position- it had been laid on its back- and then got to its feet. It still felt like it didn't have a motor. It supposed it didn't? "...I feel good. I'm at a loss for words."

Engineer flashed the robot a toothy grin. "Your old fuel system's still there in case of emergencies, but I had to shrink it down to make room for the new one. Ya see that plate over your chest? I hid a small crank beneath it that's connected to a generator. Give it a few turns every five hours or so, and you're set. Oh, don't worry about it right now. You're charged."

Mal lifted the plate and saw that, embedded in its chest, there was a little knob. It almost looked like the ones on the stove, and there was a good chance that it _might_ have belonged to a stove at one point.

The Scoutbot blankly stared at Engineer, not sure what to say. It remembered him causally throwing out the idea of a new fuel system a long time ago, sure, and it knew that he'd been working on it whenever he could. Even so, it hadn't actually expected him, or _anyone,_ really, to do something so... thoughtful. It hadn't been lying; it was just about speechless.

Instead of using its words, Mal grasped Engineer's gloved hand in one of its own. Blinking, it placed its other hand just over its throat.

Engineer's lips twitched into a warm smile. "It was nothin'. I'm just glad ya like it."

Just then, Engineer's stomach growled, and he chuckled sheepishly. Mal quickly let go of his hand. "Gotta eat. I'll make somethin'."

"Oh, that's kind of ya to offer, but I'm sure I can whip somethin' up."

"No," Mal insisted. "I wanna make somethin'. Uh, hot dog?"

Engineer chuckled at that. "Are ya just sayin' that 'cause that's what ya picked up?"

"Uhh, no. Chicken, sandwich, egg, hot dog, ham, Bonk!, beer, salad, babes-"

"I don't think 'babes' is a food, son," Engineer said with a laugh, "but I get your point. Hot dog sounds great."

Mal laughed with him, and the two headed for the kitchen, where Medic was enjoying a hot coffee and a newspaper, although no one could say for sure where he got it from. Mal got as far as putting a raw hot dog on a plate, but after that it just stared at it dumbly.

"It ain't too hard," Engineer told it. "Just stick it in the microwave for a minute or so. If ya hear it sizzle, it's done. After that, put it in a bun, and you're all set."

"Oh, okay. Gotcha." The Texan mentioned that he liked his bun heated up, so it went in at the same time as the hot dog. Soon after, the hot dog, split and steaming as it was, was assembled and ready to eat. Both human and robot sat down at the table just as Medic got up to leave. Just before reaching the hallway, though, he unexpectedly stumbled back. He was quiet, taking a moment to process what happened. Then it hit him, and his eyes went wide.

" _Zhere is a Spy in zhe base!_ "

Mal and Engineer jumped to their feet, one in surprise and the other in anger. "Damn Spybots! C'mon, it must've gone back down the hallway!"

The trio ran after the invisible robot, the humans with their wrench and bonesaw drawn, respectively. The stomping of their feet drew the attention of the other mercenaries, and soon everyone was flooding into the corridor with their various weapons of choice. They all shoved each other back and forth in their frenzy to find the Spybot, too frantic to even think about jumping. They soon realized that it wasn't working.

"Mal, ya gotta be our eyes!" Engineer yelled over the others' shouts.

The Scoutbot flinched from its position, sandwiched between Pyro and Soldier. "I... I can't. C-C-Can't see Spy."

"Engineer said you told him there was no Spy!" Sniper accused it. "Whoi didn't ya say ya couldn't even _see_ the bloody thing, ya useless machine?!"

"Hit da road _ddd_ , dickbag!" Mal snapped back.

"We don't have time for this!" Engineer shouted over them. "Mal, go get your bat!" Shooting one last glare at Sniper, Mal ran towards the Resupply Rooms, leaving the mercs to find the Spybot on their own for the time being.

Mal ran past the kitchen, slamming into the wall as it made a sharp right turn. Once in Resupply, it all but leaped over the counter, digging around amongst the piles of cash in the hopes of finding its weapon.

 _C'mon, c'mon, where is it?! I know it was over here!_

"You're looking in zhe wrong room," Medic said from behind it. Shrieking, Mal whipped around, nearly overbalancing and falling over.

"Medic! Ya scar-da me!" Then, the Scoutbot's eyes started to dim. "Da freakin' Medic's a Spy!"

The doctor scoffed at the robot. "I'm not zhe Spy, dummkopf! Look!" To prove his point, he jumped. "I just came to tell you zhat your bat is in zhe _left_ Resupply Room."

Now that it realized that Medic wasn't a Spybot, Mal relaxed somewhat. "Oh. Thanks, doc." The Scoutbot climbed back over the counter and ran past Medic, and suddenly found that its limbs weren't moving the way they were supposed to.

 _What... what...?_

The robot's body started shuddering, and warnings popped up all over its vision. It tried to call out to Medic for help, but even its voice box refused to work, spitting static whenever it tried to speak. All the while, its power kept getting lower and lower. 90 percent, 70, 40, 10...

The last thing Mal saw before shutting down completely was Medic's triumphant grin.

(...)

While Mal was off to retrieve its bat, the mercenaries continued to scour the hallway. Absolutely nothing was turning up. That is, until one of them heard a muffled banging sound. Sniper was the first to find the source, tracking the sound to Medic's infirmary. He tried the door, but it was locked. He tried slamming his shoulder against it, but it wouldn't budge. "Guys! I think it's in here!"

Pretty soon, everyone was putting their weight against the door. It creaked in agony, then finally gave way, leaving the mercenaries to pile into the room, almost landing on top of a wild-eyed Medic.

"It's about time, schweinhunds! Zhere's a Spybot, and ve-"

"We know," Engineer replied, a look of dumbfounded confusion on his face. "You're the one who told us."

"It vasn't me!" the doctor shouted in a surprisingly high-pitched voice. "I've been locked in here for a few hours, at least! Hurry, everyvun! Ve must find zhe Spybot!"

"Shit," Scout suddenly murmured, going pale. "Guys, has Mal come back yet?"

"Who cares about zhe Scoutbot?!" Medic shrieked. "Ve must find zhe _Spybot!_ "

But Engineer wasn't hearing any of it. He'd seen Medic- or the Spybot- turn back with the excuse of searching elsewhere for the invisible robot. It must have gone after Mal. Panicked, he ran back down the hallway, making a mad dash for one of the Resupply Rooms. When he discovered the robot wasn't there, he ran to the other one. Still no Scoutbot. He searched the entire base for it, but he knew it was hopeless. Scoutbots just couldn't hide like Spybots could. When he met up with the other mercs, a lump started to form in his throat.

"Mal's... Malakai's gone."

* * *

 **Hybrid Housewife.**

 **So, Medic was the Spybot all along! Or was he? Who did you think the Spybot was? Why? Did you think it was a red herring? Tell me what you all thought! I absolutely love hearing from you guys!**


	21. Memory

**Hey again, everyone! I was super excited to get this chapter up! If you want to know why, read the big-ass paragraph below.**

 **The other day, I was working on a flipnote, and I wondered how my newest EM one was doing. So I went to YouTube, and I was scrolling through all the comments (I'm vain like that, but at least I'll admit it), and most of the comments were along the lines of "Wow, a TF2 flip!" But in one particular thread, I found people discussing the story and coming up with theories! Just knowing that people were talking about the story completely made my night, so I got this chapter written at 1 in the morning. XD**

 **I know I say it a lot (or I think so, anyway), but thank you guys SO much for all the support. Without you guys, I might never have gotten past chapter 5.**

 **Also, one of the YouTubers totally called something in this chapter, but for the record, I had this moment planned out weeks before I saw the comment. And Soldier is accidentally racist again, just a heads-up. His opinion, not mine.**

* * *

" _What?!_ " Scout exclaimed. "Whaddya mean, Mal's gone?! It was just in Resupply!"

"I know," Engineer murmured. "But it ain't there now. Left its bat behind and everythin'."

"Wot've I been tellin' the lot of ya?" asked Sniper. "Obviously it's been spyin' on us. It just needed a diversion to escape!"

The Texan opened his mouth to argue, but as he thought about what the bushman said, he closed it. Had Mal only _acted_ like it trusted him? In the handful of weeks he'd known the robot, he'd really come to trust it himself. He talked to it, he taught it how to cook, he showed it his doggone _hand..._ and he showed it Respawn. He let it watch as he opened and examined each of their files, let it witness the secrets to each of their Respawn capabilities. And then this went and happened.

...But that didn't necessarily mean anything. Even if it had faked it all, he knew that Mal could still form attachments and associate. It liked to play games, it enjoyed cooking as far as he could tell, and he knew for a fact that it craved the chance to learn something new. And of course, it wore its heart on its sleeve, so to speak. It blinked when it was curious, it pulled down on its hat when it was angry, it hissed when it was worried, or sometimes even when it thought something was funny... There were just some things you couldn't fake, even with all the programming in the world. Engineer believed that Mal had truly enjoyed their company.

"...No, I don't believe that. I know Mal, and I know it wouldn't betray us like this. That Spybot wanted to take it back."

"But the Scoutbot ran away," Soldier stated. "That means that it does not like us." He paused to think about it. "Wait, no, that means that it does not like _you,_ doesn't it?"

"It _didn't_ run off," Engineer snapped, quickly on the defensive.

"And wot proof of that do ya have?" Sniper asked, almost tauntingly. "How do ya know it didn't take advantage of us? How do ya know it isn't spillin' our secrets to Gray roight now?"

"Oh, so ya wanna ask a buncha questions?" Scout shot back. "Well, here's one for ya. If Gray wanted to spy on us so bad, why didn't he get da Spybot to do it, huh?"

"Prrph, Rr brrnb phrrnk hrr phrrb Rrngrr wrrb phrrnb hrrm," Pyro added.

"Yeah, Hardhat _found_ Mal. Gray didn't plant it or nothin'."

"Vhatever zhe case may be," Medic interrupted before yet another argument could take place, "Gray likely has bozh robots vizh him, und bozh are capable of telling him vhatever it vas he vanted to know. Zhe question is, vhat might zhey tell him, und vhat are ve going to do about it?"

"There's Respawn, for one thing," Sniper supplied, the remainder of a snarl on his face.

"They got away with Respawn!" Soldier bellowed, his head swinging to and fro in sudden panic. Pyro put a hand on his shoulder and gave him some sort of look, preventing whatever devastation would have followed.

"Above all else, that's somethin' we need to consider," Engineer said, uncharacteristically quiet. "Every wave we die anywhere between... let's say, five to ten times? Maybe twenty, for some of us?"

"So next time we go out dere... we're all gonna die?" Scout choked out. "For real?"

"Not yet," Engineer replied. "First they gotta get to Gray, then they gotta tell him about Respawn before he can do anythin'. Even if he knew right this second where Respawn was and how it worked, he's still gotta figure out how to get a robot back down there. And if he cain't do that, then he'll have to figure out how to shut it down remotely. Either way, that's gonna take some time. For now, we're still safe."

"So ve'll have to stop him before zhen," Medic concluded. "But how are ve going to do zhat? All ve've been able to do for monzhs is hold him off. Ve don't even know how many robots he has left!"

"Isn't it obvious?" Soldier boomed. "We penetrate their defenses before _they_ penetrate _ours!_ "

"And how do ya s'pose we do that?" Sniper snarked. "It's us against thousands, maybe millions."

"I have a disguise," Soldier replied, grinning. "I will go get it now." With a solute, the American was off for his quarters... about two doors down.

"Ya think he's got somethin' cool?" Scout wondered. "I bet he's been collectin' robot parts as trophies. We're gonna get robot armor! Sweet!"

Seconds later, Soldier returned, and in his hands was the hope of the team...

"...A cardboard box," Sniper deadpanned. "Do ya really think _that_ will get us into Gray's headquarters?"

"Yes," Soldier answered. "Robots are very dumb."

"Mrr rrphrrnb brrm!" Pyro gasped, offended.

"Is the Scoutbot American? Because it is scientifically proven that all non-Americans are dumb. Also, I have not seen it eat steak."

"I think it was a good idea," Engineer offered, "but I doubt that it's really gonna work. Those robots are smarter than we gave 'em credit for. But I think you've made some pretty good points." The Texan looked at each mercenary in turn with his steely gaze. "If we have any hope of stoppin' Gray, we might just have to bring the fight to him, and we gotta do it while we still have Respawn."

"Novun has answered my question," said Medic. " _How_ are ve going to pull zhis off? Zhere are only six of us!"

Engineer allowed himself a small smirk. "I think ya might've miscounted there, doc. There's eighteen of us."

(...)

"Spy!"

Mal awoke with a start, quickly realizing that it was no longer in the Resupply Room. Everything around it was... gray. Gray walls, gray lighting, gray tiles...

Fuck! This was Gray's headquarters! What was it doing here?!

"Help!" Mal called, knowing that no one would hear it. "Hardhat! Scout! Pyro! _MMM_ edic! Help! Please!" It tried to get up from its sitting position to run, crawl, _something,_ but its joints just whirred in protest, unable to move. "Can-Can-Can we just let's go? Please, help!"

"I wouldn't try to move if I were you," a voice said from directly behind it. Mal would have jumped if it could. It recognized that Southern twang, and it was almost relieved. But something was really off about it. "I've disabled your servos to keep ya from damagin' anythin' while I work on your processor. All you're gonna do is wear your joints out."

Wait, its goddamn _processor?!_ What did a Mecha Engineer- that's definitely what this was- want with its processor?! "What... What are ya doi-doi-doin'?! Don't kill me, please! _Help_ me!"

The Mecha Engineer paused in its work. "I forgot, you're one of the older models. Your designation's SC-37, right? You're one of the quick ones, older than I am. E-249, if you were curious.

"To answer your question, I'm extractin' and decodin' the information ya gathered while you were in Mann Co.'s custody. Gotta say, I'm pretty impressed, and I know the Maker will be. How did ya get the Engineer to show ya where Respawn was? Humans must be pretty dimwitted. Not the Maker, of course."

"No!" Mal shouted. "Don't... kill them! I don't want them to die!"

"Would ya rather they destroy _us?_ " E-249 asked, getting back to work. "Look, they've been causin' the Maker trouble for years, long before most of this bunch was alive. They're hell-bent on makin' sure every last one of us is destroyed. I know you've seen it. Hell, ya almost _lived_ it a few times. Once they're gone, the Maker will be free to do as he wishes, and we'll keep our parts intact. What more could a robot want?"

"C'mon, man," Mal pleaded, its voice box quiet. "Please, don't kill them. Dey-re... Dey're friends."

The Mecha Engineer made a long, staticky noise, a sigh. "Friends, huh? Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much, son. You ain't gonna remember any of that, anyway."

Mal's eyes went bright. "...What?"

"I hate to do this to ya, but it's the Maker's orders. He knows that ya don't care for him much, and what with ya apparently bein' friends with the lot at Mann Co., he's got it in his head that you'll rebel or somethin'. Crazy, isn't it? No robot is stupid enough to jeopardize their freedom like that. Well, this way, ya won't have any reason to do somethin' stupid like that. And ya know why? You were never over there in the first place."

* * *

 **Woo! Lots of stuff is about to happen, and we finally get to meet another intelligent robot! The comics came into play a little bit this time around, but since this is sort of an AU, things are going to be WAY different, if that isn't already obvious. Also, I don't like the Classic team. There, I said it.**

 **The next chapter is half-way through being written, so I'll try to have that up by next Monday or Wednesday. I hate ending up with a buffer, because my first instinct is to type it up as soon as I can. Remember how the first three chapters were up in the same day? Yeah, I'd meant to space those out. XD**

 **Oh, and Engie's estimation on deaths comes from my own experience. I play Sniper because I like to and it pisses people off (I'm F2P), and if we finish the wave, I'll die seven or eight times on a good run. If I'm trying to be a Scout, I die twenty or thirty times.**

 **Pyro Speak:**

 **"Plus, I don't think he thought we would find him."**

 **"Mal isn't dumb!"**

 **So, I'll be seeing you guys soon!**


	22. Voracity

**So yeah, I know this is later than I said it would be. The fact is, I gave up and got SFM in the hopes that I could import the TF2 models into Poser (I can't), and I can't stop playing with it. As a test, I'm filling out a request I got forever ago (didn't someone want Mal to learn to dance?) using a Ghost Town map that just barely works. Thankfully I found a room that isn't checkered purple and black or full of rainbow shiny circles. XD Once I get better at using the program, I might fill out some other requests (no promises, but I'll do my best), or see how an animation does in the Saxxy's. Wouldn't be hilarious if an animation of Mal and Sniper fighting became an Action finalist or something?**

 **You guys might hate me just a little bit for the end of this chapter. What I should have done is reread the comics to brush up on a few things, and I didn't do that. I might later though, then come back and fix this up if need be.**

* * *

"So wait, let me get this straight," Miss Pauling said over the phone. "You're telling me that Gray managed to get a hold of Respawn technology?"

"Not the technology, per se," Engineer replied. "More like video footage. Possibly. Best case, the footage is corrupt, and Gray cain't view it. Worst case, he'll decode all the information he can and either send a robot to disable it manually, or he'll find a way to shut it down remotely."

"How did you even let things get this bad?" Pauling asked, rubbing small circles over her temple with her free hand. "You've been doing so well up until now, what happened?!"

Engineer paused to rub the back of his head. "I... might've brought Mal with me when I checked on Respawn a few days ago."

"What- wait, who's Mal?"

"The Scoutbot."

"Engineer, you know better than this!" Miss Pauling exclaimed. "You knew that it could record sounds, and should have assumed that it could record video as well! Even if it _is_ surprisingly polite, why would you let a robot with clear surveillance capabilities anywhere _near_ Respawn?!"

"I didn't think this would go and happen," Engineer responded, carefully keeping his voice even. "Besides, my hope was that it would keep an eye out and make sure the Spybot didn't try to mess with Respawn. As it turns out, it cain't see Spies like we can."

"If you somehow miraculously survive after all this, we're docking your pay," Pauling stated flatly.

"I s'pose that's fair," Engineer conceded. "There was actually another reason I called. As it stands, the six of us alone ain't gonna be able to do anythin' about this. We were hopin' to infiltrate Gray's base, but that's hardly a possibility, especially considerin' that none of us specialize in that sort of thing. Is there any chance we could bring the other two teams-"

"Manhattan and Rottenburg have their own robots to deal with," Pauling cut him off. "We can't just send them all the way over there to fix what you messed up. That would risk the robots attacking their bases while they were gone, then _no one_ would have Respawn."

"That ain't gonna matter for long," Engineer pressed. "Do ya think Gray would stop with us? If he can shut down _our_ Respawn, then what's to stop him from doin' the same with the others? I mean you no disrespect, ma'am, but ya don't really have a choice here. If ya don't send every man you can, then this war is _lost._ "

Miss Pauling's end was silent for a moment. "...Wow, uh... I didn't think of that. I can see how that's a problem."

"So do ya think you can do it?" Engineer asked.

"The most I can promise is that I'll ask the Administrator. I can't guarantee anything, but I'll do what I can. I'll call you back as soon as possible."

"Much obliged," Engineer said with a smile. Miss Pauling hung up, and the Texan placed the phone back on its receiver. He turned around to face the rest of the team, all of them leaning in with expectant looks on their faces.

"Wrrb brrb phr phrr?" asked Pyro, nudging his way past Medic to the front of the crowd.

"She said she'd ask the lady upstairs," Engineer replied. "She'll call us back as soon as she can."

"And when will that be?" Sniper questioned him.

Engineer thought about it. "Well, that could be any time from five minutes to... never?"

"Vhat are ve going to do if she never calls?" Medic asked, growing wide-eyed. "How are ve going to survive?!"

"Oh my God!" Scout wailed. "I'm gonna die! I don't wanna die! I'm too handsome to die!"

"Both of ya calm down," Engineer told them sternly. "Even if Respawn shuts down, we can still buy ourselves some time. Each of us is able to be revived prematurely, thanks to doc's Medigun. Respawn is s'posed to catch us within ten seconds, but if it doesn't, I'd say we have about thirty seconds to be revived. Doc, I know you can run across the map in that amount of time. Can I count on ya to prioritize the survivability of the team over the destruction of the robots?"

Medic swallowed nervously, but his eyes became as hard as steel. "Vhat kind of Medic vould I be if I couldn't keep my team alive?"

Engineer gave him an appreciative nod before addressing the rest of the team. "Alright, so that means the rest of us gotta do our part, too. We gotta protect doc at _all costs._ If he's gonna focus on keepin' the rest of us alive, he's gonna have a harder time keepin' _himself_ alive. That means we gotta keep one eye on him at all times. If ya gotta choose between lettin' him die and dyin' yourself, save his life before tryin' to save your own. He cain't revive himself, after all. Do I make myself clear?"

Everyone nodded and gave their "yeses" and "crystal clears," and the Texan nodded in satisfaction. "Good. We'll make further plans when Miss Pauling gets back to us. But until then, we'll all do our damnedest to survive."

(...)

 _..._

 _..._

 _...Remote activation initiated._

 _Restarting..._

 _Power capacity: 10 percent..._

 _Warning: Problem has occurred within engine. Fuel is not being processed._

 _Restarting engine..._

 _...full capacity reached._

 _Current orders: none found._

SC-37 powered on, and everything felt sluggish. Rusty, almost. Was it rusty...? No, it wasn't. Looked like it had gotten a fresh paint job, in fact. When did _that_ happen, and who did it? A Medicbot, maybe?

"SC-37. You're active."

At the sound of the familiar gravelly voice, the Scoutbot cowered and backed up against the nearest wall. Not daring to look up, it was still able to recognize the polished shoes of the Maker himself, Gray Mann. As always, he was flanked by two robots: this time, a Heavybot on one side, and a Soldierbot on the other. If the three of them had come to see it, then it must have been about something important. Gray rarely met with robots in person.

"It's been a while since you've been running, hasn't it?" the Maker asked rhetorically, pacing slowly in front of the Scoutbot. "Close to two months, in fact. You'd been meant to observe those bastards at Mann Co., find out what they were planning. You were to infiltrate the base during a mission, using the battle as cover. My robots had almost succeeded in delivering the bomb, but then those _fools_ released an electromagnetic pulse, shutting down all robots within a quarter mile radius. Many couldn't recover, and had to be melted down."

Gray stopped in his pacing, and SC-37 sank even lower, quivering violently. "How lucky that you could be salvaged, if at the cost of a few corrupted files. The EMP device has since been confiscated and destroyed. It is no longer a threat."

Hidden beneath its hat, the Scoutbot's eyes became dim. Something was wrong. Gray rarely, if ever, just talked. There was always some sort of catch, and it was never good for the robot... Oh God, what did he want it to do?

"Since then, SP-44 and SP-56 have gotten in and discovered the location of their Respawn technology. 56 so kindly brought footage to me of the Engineer using the machine, and it's currently being analyzed. 44 tells me that the mercenaries are aware of this, and may be planning an all-out attack. I want you to be ready for when that happens."

SC-37 blinked. Was that all? How oddly... generous. The robot couldn't help but feel that the Mann was hiding something, although that was hardly anything knew. Still, it was in no position to disobey. It never had been.

"I want you and a select group of others to capture the mercenaries for me. Alive, if at all possible. I'd like to kill them myself. Can you do that for me?"

Gray was being far too thoughtful. That was a bad sign. If he wanted something done, then it had better be done. He never asked a robot what it thought or wanted; if it couldn't pull it off, then it was sure to be destroyed. Even though it had been phrased as a request, the Scoutbot knew that it didn't have a choice. Gray knew it, too, so he didn't wait for an answer.

"Your weapons are on that table. I want to be sure you remember how to use them. I'm sure you know where the rebel prisoners are. Go practice."

* * *

 **So yes, Gray is a monologuing dick, I guess. Tell me if I'm wrong, because I have never written him before. It doesn't help that I don't like him enough to pay attention to his personality, either.**

 **I put a little bit of ass-kissing to Medic mains in there, too. XD As someone who occasionally plays Medic, I hate it when the team puts all responsibility on me (we lost, and its ur fault, noob), even though I do appreciate the respect that comes with it (we won, great job medic, gg). Demomen who constantly shout at you are the worst though, especially if you're pocketing them. To anyone who mains Heavy, Soldier, or Demoman, respect your Medic. Protect him, and don't pester him when he's already latched onto you. This guy keeps you alive. If you don't treat him well, don't expect to run in front of a Sentry Gun and live. Play nice.**

 **Really, though, if MVM had an Arena mode, you'd better believe that I'd give my life for the Medic if I had to.**

 **That one Pyro line:**

 **"What did she say?"**

 **School's about to start again with a heavier class load, so I might update kind of slowly, unlike the weekly or biweekly updates I've been somehow pulling off. Still, I hope you enjoyed, and I wish you a belated happy holidays!**


	23. Maybe

**Hey, guys!**

 **This chapter is a little bit longer than some of the others. The last couple have been a little monotonous, and I wanted to get to a place where people stopped talking about what would happen and started making stuff happen. Lots of stuff.**

 **On a note that isn't even remotely related, I kneestabbed a falling Demoman while I was stalking a Pyro a while back. I wasn't recording, sadly, so I'm hoping the Demoman was and decided to send it to Sin. I mean, I knew facestabs were a thing, but kneestabs?**

 **And NaturalBacon, I never answered your question. Yes, that was one of the YouTubers. -finger waggle- Was that you?**

* * *

Surprisingly, only an hour had passed after the team's talk before they got a call back. Scout gulped, and Engineer went to pick up the phone. He didn't bother with formalities. "So, what did she say?"

Miss Pauling fidgeted on the other end. "...She said no."

Engineer frowned. "No? Why in Sam Hill would she say no?"

"But it's okay, because later she changed her mind," Pauling explained. "I think it's because you guys mean _so much_ to her, and she just couldn't bear to let you go." There was a moment of awkward silence. "Okay, I lied about that. I may or may not have pointed out to her that replacing you guys and finding someone to redesign and build a new Respawn system would be extremely cost-ineffective. I hope you don't mind."

The frown stayed on Engineer's face. "Nah, I don't mind none. Do ya have any idea when they'll be here?"

"Well, considering that one of the teams will be flying in from Germany, it could be any time from tomorrow to next week."

The Texan could hear the wince in her voice, but he couldn't keep the indignation out of his. "Next _week?_ We could all very well be dead by then!"

"I know, I know," Miss Pauling moaned. "But there isn't anything I can do about it. Teleporters aren't good for long distances, so they'll get there when they get there. You'll just have to survive on your own until then. You can manage that, right? You've been through worse."

"It's pretty darn hard to top an alien invasion," Engineer admitted, "but I can tell this is gonna come real damn close."

"I'll check and see how quickly Bidwell can get them there," Pauling told him. "You're probably due for another attack soon, so I'll leave you a message when I find out."

"Sounds good," Engineer replied. "I wanna tell ya that I appreciate ya doin' all this. I know this is all a huge mess, and no one's at fault for it but me. It means a lot that you're lendin' me a hand like this."

He could hear the smile in Miss Pauling's voice. "Don't mention it. I'll get back to you as soon as I can." There was a click as the line went dead, and Engineer hung up the phone.

"So, uh... what'd she say?" Scout asked nervously, tossing his head in a false show of confidence.

"The other teams are comin'," Engineer replied, "but it's gonna take some time before they get here. We'll be on our own until then."

"This will not be a problem!" Soldier shouted. "I have survived in much harsher conditions without the aid of Respawn! I once had to hold my guts inside my body in freezing temperatures!"

"Ve've all heard zhat vun," Medic said tiredly, "and zhe details seem to change every time."

"Rr rrk phrrb phrrhrr," Pyro mumbled.

"Did she say how much toime that would take?" Sniper asked.

"However long it takes for the Rottenburg team to fly in from Germany," Engineer told him. "Definitely not soon."

There was a collective groan from the entire team, and of course Scout was the first one to speak. "Dis is gonna suck so bad! Ya know how many times I die out dere? Doc can barely keep up with me, even with dat fancy gun o' his!"

"I _do_ have a Dispenser," the Texan pointed out. "It ain't just for Soldier and Pyro to use."

"Did ya just _admit_ to dyin' all the toime?" Sniper teased.

The Bostonian was quick to puff out his chest and retort. "Uh, no! But maybe if ya stopped shootin' right next to me, I'd get distracted less! Dose bullets are freakin' loud!" The Aussie just snickered at him, so he huffed and crossed his arms, pouting.

"So I assume ve follow zhe original plan?" asked Medic. "Zhe vun vhere I keep zhe entire team from dying for several days?"

"I know it's a lot to ask," Engineer admitted, "but I'm afraid we're plumb out of options. But I ain't too worried. I know you're good at what ya do, you can do this without too much trouble."

"Vizhout too much trouble, he says," Medic muttered under his breath with a humorless chuckle.

"Look," the Texan went on, "the next wave is bound to start any time, so why don't we get what rest we can until then? We could use all the energy we can get."

"I do not need to take such precautions! I am always alert!" Soldier bragged. "However, I cannot say the same for the rest of you maggots! Return to your quarters, and meet me in the Resupply Rooms at oh-six-hundred hours! Tardiness will not be tolerated!"

"Shut _up,_ mate!" Sniper shouted, but the military man didn't seem to hear him. He saluted the team and marched down the hallway to his room. Grumbling quietly to himself, the bushman went outside, presumably to his camper van. After a moment, everyone else went their own separate ways to turn in for the night.

Despite all his big words, though, Engineer lay in bed awake for several hours, thinking. Could they really pull this off? They were eighteen men against what may as well be a world superpower with an unknown amount of money, resources, and man-slaying robots. It was one thing knowing they had Respawn to fall back on, but they no longer had that luxury. Even with the revival capabilities of the Medigun, if the Medics went down, it was all over. And what if something happened, and the Rottenburg team wasn't coming at all? There were some key men on that team. Without them, the mission was already a bust.

...He tried not to dwell on it, but what had become of Malakai? Was he still up and running? Probably not. He wouldn't have been a bomb carrier in the first place if Gray had wanted him to live. As soon as all of the information was extracted from him, he would probably be scrapped, or reprogrammed, or whatever it was Gray did with rogue robots.

But what if none of that was the case? What if Mal had been imprisoned, or was somehow okay? How would they recognize him from the other Scoutbots? A few wore different hats, but aside from that, did Mal really look any different from them? In Gray's base, there would be no time to think about what they were shooting at. They could very well gun him down and no one would be any the wiser. Engineer found that he couldn't stand the thought.

And then there was the one thought that lingered no matter how hard he tried to push it back. What if Sniper was right, and Mal had left willingly? After all, every robot was programmed to follow Gray's every order, all hail the Maker and all that. Some were smart, some weren't, and Mal was definitely one intelligent machine. Who was to say that he hadn't played them all for fools? And hadn't _he_ been the one Mal befriended, the only one on the Coal Town team who knew how to operate Respawn? There were a lot of things that didn't add up with Sniper's theory, but there were many, many more things that did, and the Texan found it absolutely terrifying that he could have put such trust in the robot, if that turned out to be the case.

So, despite everything he'd said to encourage his team, to let them know that everything would work out okay, Engineer found himself in a very fitful sleep.

(...)

When the Mercenaries were awoken by the Carrier alarm, they got ready for their mission, the air thick with tension. They ran their battle plan through their heads over and over, making sure they remembered every detail, because this time, their very lives were on the line. If they messed this up, there would be no coming back, and Gray would be virtually free to take over the world. With heavy footsteps and narrow eyes, they marched outside, staring down the oncoming wave of Pyrobots and Scoutbots.

It was only a few minutes in when disaster struck. Rife with anxiety, the entire team was inefficient and distracted. It was because of this that Scout stumbled in one of his jumps, falling short and landing directly in the line of fire of one of the Pyrobots. He was reduced to ashes in mere seconds. Face pale, Medic rushed to his aid, throwing up his shield in an effort to push the robots aside, but it proved fruitless in the face of the giant Demoknights, forcing him to backpedal away. His path was blocked off entirely by a fresh wall of Scoutbots, and it was evident that Medic was unlikely to reach the Bostonian's beacon in time.

Grieving and furious, the mercenaries pushed harder, popping heads, causing explosions, and destroying anything that got anywhere near the bomb. Even the dreaded Demoknights didn't last long under their wrath. And ten grueling seconds later, Scout joined in their efforts.

Sniper was the first to spot him in the sea of giant Soldierbots, gaping behind his scope. "The little ankle-boiter's aloive!"

"What?!" Engineer shouted, his moment of distraction nearly costing him his Sentry before he fixed his mistake. "So that means Respawn's still workin'!"

"I know, thank God, right?" Scout squawked, caving in the metal exterior of a Medicbot's head before deftly avoiding a fatal rocket. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I ain't religious or nothin', but jeeze!"

Pyro cheerfully shouted something made even more unintelligible that usual by his mic, reflecting a rocket back to the Soldierbot that fired it. Soldier yelled something equally vague before firing a barrage of his own.

"This doesn't change anythin'," Engineer reminded them. "Just 'cause he hasn't shut Respawn down yet doesn't mean he won't. We stick to the original strategy." Sobering up, the rest of the team nodded and put their full attention into their assigned roles.

Surprisingly and thankfully, the battle was remarkably short, lasting only until that evening. There were a few deaths, mostly from Scout and Soldier, but none were permanent. By the end, most of the team had congregated by the hatch to ward off the last few meager attempts at it. When the last Heavybot fell, everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good, maybe now ve'll get a few hours of peace," Medic grumbled.

"Sounds good to me," said Engineer. "But before that, I'm gonna make sure that's the last of 'em. There's always a Sniperbot or somethin' lurkin' about." The Texan left his Sentry by the hatch as a precaution, then trekked to the opposite end of the area.

When he got past the choke point, he heard an odd noise. It sounded like something metal hitting... something else made of metal. Engineer didn't recognize the sound, so he made sure to be extremely cautious. Odd things hadn't been boding well for the team lately.

A few seconds later, he heard the sound again, and this time he could tell where it was coming from. He followed the noise around the corner where... he gulped. He'd found Mal around this corner, in circumstances much like these. But dammit, why did everything have to make him think about that?

Ever so slowly, the Texan peeked his head around the corner and saw, of all things, a Scoutbot. It had its back to him, having apparently not noticed him yet. As he watched, it clapped twice, producing the metallic sound from before. Engineer immediately recognized that this wasn't normal behavior.

"Mal?" he called to it. It jumped about a foot in the air with a familiar shriek, whipping around to face him. After that, there was no mistaking it. "Mal, it _is_ you! What're ya doin' way over here? We've been wonderin' where you've gone."

The Scoutbot tilted its head curiously, and there was suddenly the unshakeable feeling that something was off. How did Mal manage to stay alive this whole time? Why wasn't he saying anything? Why was he running on his motor?

Why was he clapping?

Engineer's face went pale, and he had just enough time to turn around and see the butt of a pistol as it landed right between his eyes.

(...)

SC-37 flinched when it saw Engineer crumple to the ground. The other Scoutbot pretended to wipe its gun off on a shirt it didn't have, then laughed and adjusted its fedora. "Wow, I can't believe how easy dat was. Can you? I mean, he didn't even _try_ to shoot ya."

"Eet wasn't supposed to be that easy," a Spybot said, shimmering into view. "I suppose eet ees as the Maker says. The Engineer ees too enamored by machines to conseeder an eendiveedual a threat."

A third Scoutbot, this one with a set of fake wings and antennae, pointed inquisitively at the unconscious man, wordlessly asking for an explanation of a sort.

"I weel deesguise as the Engineer and lure the mercenaries back eento the base. While I do that, you drag heem to the Teleporter. I will meet with you shortly after. Not a _word,_ 63\. If they hear you, they weel keel you."

"Ya think I don't know dat, 56? Dose bastids in Manhattan fucked 62 up, remember?" The Scoutbot next to it elbowed it in an attempt to shut it up. "Look, I gotcha. Not a word."

Somewhat satisfied with the answer, SP-56 checked Engineer's body for any weapons he may be carrying besides the shotgun in his hands. All of them, it seemed. The Spybot took every last one, then pulled out its disguise kit and took on Engineer's form. The robot smiled warmly at the small group and started trotting off. "Get it done, fellas."

"Okay, 37, you get his legs," SC-63 ordered. The timid Scoutbot nodded and did what it was told. "62, help me with his arms. 98, make sure no one sees us." The last member of the group, a Sniperbot, rolled its head, unable to roll its eyes, and pulled the scope off of its rifle, letting its hand drop to its side. "Alright, we good to go? Remember what 56 said: no talkin'. I'm lookin' at you, 37." SC-37's eyes dimmed, but it didn't reply.

The three Scoutbots carried Engineer to the building in the center of the map, where the Sniperbot held up a hand telling them to stop. It raised its scope, and watched as SP-56 interacted with the mercenaries. It used the stolen PDA to fold the Sentry and pack it up; they never had a reason to suspect a thing. The Spybot lagged behind as the mercs headed inside, then made its way around the side of the building.

Seeing as the coast was clear, SN-98 waved the Scoutbots forward. Quickly but quietly, the four of them ran past the hatch, meeting up with the no-longer-disguised Spybot. Once reunited, they turned away from the building, not stopping until they reached a small collection of tombstones. Behind them was the hidden Teleporter, humming gently as it awaited its passengers.

The Scoutbots gently draped Engineer over the Teleporter, watching as he was whisked away. They waited a moment, and SP-56 nodded. SC-62 went through first, followed by SC-63, and then SN-98. The Spybot gave SC-37 a look, and after some hesitation, the Scoutbot went through. Finally, SP-56 stepped onto the Teleporter and disappeared, leaving behind no evidence of its existence.

* * *

 **Ooh, damn. Shit just got real, and I think some of you got angry.**

 **Yes, SP-56 has a lot of "ee, ee, ee." No, that is not how I write Spy.**

 **Pyroic:**

 **"I like that story."**

 **So yeah, updates will probably be coming in more slowly, and the several animations I'm working on (some 2D, a couple 3D) will also be slower in coming. Be expecting a longer flipnote soon, guys. I'll let you know when I finish it, and know that it will be pretty spoiler-heavy. Unless the chapter(s) it refers to come(s) out first, which with me is very likely.**

 **Anyway, hope to see you soon!**


	24. Betray

**Eyy, I'm way early! Term just started, but I only had two days of school followed by a bunch of snow days, essentially giving me a six-day weekend with barely any homework. I was so excited to get this chapter up, I just had to write, write, write!**

 **I've been waiting to get this chapter up for months. I know I'm going to piss at least a couple of you off, too. A few of the flipnotes I've been working on depict one of the scenes in this, so I may post a WIP of one of them tomorrow or the day after. I might not, though, because it's about two-thirds of the way done anyway.**

 **Also, I never specified how many animations I'm working on, nor will I ever. I'm not a very motivated person, and I'm easily distracted on top of that. Because of this, I've probably started on a couple dozen, thought about using audio for another dozen, and out of all of them, I'm probably never going to finish about three-quarters of them. Part of it is the motivation, yeah, but another part is that at one point I realized I was drawing Mal's chest and arms wrong, and I REALLY don't want to go over every freaking frame to fix it. So out of my current animations that I'm likely to finish, I'd say... way less than there should be, considering how many I've started.**

 **Enough of me, you want the story. Another longer one, yay! Oh, by the way, I still posted Pyro's translation, but I don't think it's totally necessary. No one really understands him that well in the story, either.**

* * *

The mercenaries were quick to notice that something was very wrong. Oddly enough, Pyro was the first one to realize something was amiss. He wanted to ask why Engineer thought the battle was so short, only to realize he wasn't even there. He was just right behind him! Maybe he was checking on something outside?

The firebug turned around and stepped back outside, scanning the immediate area. "Rrnbrr?" he called. "Rr yrr brr?" Still looking around, he started to walk down the steps, but he tripped over something large and bulky. He fell flat on his face, and took a moment to get up and dust himself off. He looked behind himself to see what he had tripped over, and was horrified to find Engineer's toolbox. He never left his toolbox! "Rrnbrr?" More frantically, Pyro ran around the entire map hoping to find some sign of his friend, but the toolbox seemed to be the only thing left of him.

In a panic, Pyro made for the base, all but crashing into the first person he encountered. Sniper squawked in surprise, which quickly turned into an annoyed growl. "Oi, wotch where you're goin', ya looney!"

"Phnrrbrr! Rrnbrrph brrn!" Pyro cried, flailing his arms wildly.

"Wot're ya goin' on about?" Sniper demanded. "No one understands your mumbles."

"Rrnbrrph mrrphrrn!" Pyro shouted.

"Vhat's going on, vhy is Pyro yelling?" Medic asked, walking in to see what the commotion was about.

"Wrr hrrb phr phrrnb Rrnbrr!" pleaded the firebug.

"Vhat? Vhat are you saying? I can't understand a vord of it."

Also attracted to the yelling, Scout ran up to the three of them. "C'mon, you guys've only been on each otha's team for four years. Ya still can't understand Pyro? He said... Actually, what _were_ ya sayin'? I couldn't hear ya dat well."

The firebug growled in annoyance, making sure to enunciate every syllable. "Rrnbrr. Rrph. Brrn."

Scout just stared at him dumbly, wide-eyed, prompting Medic to crane over his shoulder to look at him. "Could you not understand him eizher?"

"No, no, I understood," Scout replied, furrowing his brow and shaking his head. "It's just he... he says Hardhat's gone, but dat can't be right."

"Of course it can't," Sniper snapped. "He just came insoide with the rest of us."

"Brrb hrr brrbrrnb!" Pyro shrieked, nearly to the point of hysterics. "Hrr rrphb hrrph brrbrrph rrbphrrb! Hrr nrrbrr brrph phrrb!"

Sniper and Medic both looked to Scout for a translation, which he was quick to provide. "He says Hardhat left his toolbox outside, and yeah, dat's pretty weird."

Medic gulped. "Did... Did anyvun actually _see_ Herr Engineer come inside?" Everyone shook their heads, and a horrified chill crept up the doctor's spine, already fearing the worst. He knew everyone else was thinking the same thing, so he forced his hands to stop shaking and steeled his nerves. There was a chance that Engineer was fine, and they were all worrying over nothing... "Scout, go find Herr Soldier. Ve're going to find Engineer. He must be somevhere on zhe map." Scout didn't even hesitate; he was gone as soon as the order was given.

Once everyone was gathered, the mercenaries searched outside high and low for the missing Engineer, even looking behind the building and outside of the perimeter for him. Besides the abandoned toolbox, there wasn't any sign of the Texan anywhere. That is, there was one sign that Medic almost missed, had he not had a knack for spotting such things. A few droplets of blood at the far end of the map, still red. Medic was quick to call everyone over, his voice tight.

"Dat could be anyone's blood, right?" Scout asked, his voice abnormally high. "Right? Py and I fight ova here all da time-"

"Nein," Medic insisted, cutting him off. "Every trace of us disappears vhen ve respawn. Zhis is most certainly Herr Engineer's. Zhis can only mean vun zhing. Gray has-"

"He's dead," Scout choked out. "He got attacked, and Gray killed him. And he ain't coming back."

A single tear ran down the runner's cheek, and Pyro started weeping. Even Sniper took off his hat and held it over his chest. Medic, though, could only stare blankly, his Adam's apple bobbing. "No... Ve-Ve don't know zhat-"

"THE PROOF IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, MEDIC!" Soldier bellowed, his face red and his lower lip almost imperceptibly trembling. "ENGIE is DEAD!" Scout started openly bawling, and Soldier turned away from the doctor, frowning. "And we can't even give him a proper burial."

The mercenaries each grieved in their own way, but Medic was shaking like a leaf, looking like he was about to have a panic attack. "I can't believe zhis is happening... _None_ of zhis should be happening...!"

Before anyone knew it, Scout was marching back to the base, completely silent. Sniper was the one who called out to him, putting his hat back on his head. "Oi, where do ya think you're goin'?"

"Makin' sure dat wrinkly old bastid gets what's comin' to 'im..." Scout murmured. The other mercs started following him, with Medic in the lead to question him further.

"How do you suppose you'll do zhat? Zhere isn't much zhe five of us can do. Ve have to vait for zhe ozher two-"

"Dey ain't comin' in time!" Scout screamed, whirling on the German, tear streaks running down his blotchy red face. "By da time dey get here, Gray will've picked us all off, and don't tell me he can't, 'cause he just took Hardhat, right when we thought we were safe! We keep sayin' he can't do shit to make ourselves feel better, but he can! He can, doc, and he will! He's smarter dan we are, he probably knows we're waitin' for da othas, just like he knows all da otha shit we didn't think he'd know! Da only way we're takin' him down is if we do it _now._ " Medic stared at the runner quietly as he turned away from him. "I don't care if ya come with me or not, but I'm goin' before he thinks I might." With that, Scout stormed back into the base, the four others staring at the door curiously.

Medic wanted to go in and berate Scout for his naïveté, but as he thought about what he said, he realized that the young Bostonian was right. Everything that had gone wrong for them lately was because Gray somehow knew things that he wasn't supposed to know, or he did things that they didn't think he could. For all they knew, he had cameras within the base, or everyone was actually a Spybot, or they were just a hobby, trapped in an abandoned town to fight for his amusement while larger armies than they could imagine gradually took over the world bit by bit. None of them knew what they thought they knew; the only thing they knew for certain was that Gray could and would kill them at any moment. The possibility that they'd be killed before the other teams got there was very, very real. Gray was capable of all of this, and Scout was planning on facing him alone.

Decision made, Medic made his way through the sliding door, grabbing his syringe gun and making sure it was fully loaded. Scout looked up from his pistol, a cautious but hopeful look in his eyes. "Ya comin' along, too?"

"You must be a fool to zhink you could go out zhere alone und survive," Medic replied. "You can't do zhat vizhout a Medic."

Just then, Soldier burst in, more calmly followed by Sniper and Pyro. "You can follow me into battle, private! I will be sure to lead us to victory!"

"Rrnbrr wrrph mrr brrph phrrnb," Pyro added solemnly. "Rr brr wrrbrrbrr Rr krrn brr hrrb."

Finally, Sniper said, "I may not've loiked the guy much, but he was my teammate, so if I gotta take down a robot army to avenge him, then so be it."

Scout was incredibly touched by their offers, but he would never let that show. Instead, he laughed. "Man, you guys are da best!"

Once everyone was prepared, or at least as prepared as they could be, the mercenaries marched outside... then stopped. Soldier was quick to address the issue. "Question. We do not know where Gray's base is."

In response, Sniper looked out to the town they'd been fighting for for months. "The robots only ever come from one direction, mate."

(...)

After successfully completing their mission, a Soldierbot sent the small group of robots off to their stations. However, when SC-37 tried to walk past, the Soldierbot grabbed it by the shoulder. "The Maker," it said simply.

The Scoutbot had no time to protest, as the robot had waved a Demobot over to escort it. What did Gray want with it? Had it done something wrong? Was it going to be scrapped?!

After walking down a corridor guarded by no less than twelve Heavybots, the two found themselves in front of a large set of doors, guarded by a pair of Pyrobots. Nodding to them, the Demobot turned and walked away, leaving SC-37 to shake in fear as the Pyrobots pulled the doors open and waved it inside, where it continued to cower.

Inside was a large office with several chairs, desks, and bookshelves set up neatly and symmetrically. Behind the largest and most elaborate of the desks, with a background full of monitors, was Gray, a Spybot to his left and a Scoutbot to his right. The Mann glanced at SC-37 out of the corner of his eye. "You shouldn't slouch. I might mistake it for a misalignment." The Scoutbot was quick to correct its posture. "You and I both know that, while you were recovering from the EMP, you lost several crucial files. Your computer is quite complex, you know. Who knows what else might have been... corrupted? How am I to know you're still loyal to me?"

It was all SC-37 could do to not short out right then and there. Of course it was loyal, that hadn't changed! Gray, evidently, hadn't expected or wanted a reply. "I should have you destroyed. That would be the safest thing to do." The Spybot blipped, then nodded to Gray. His smile became cruel. "That's what I _should_ do. But I won't destroy you. I am not so cruel." Ha. SC-37 knew better. "There is still a way you can prove your loyalty to me. You have no qualms about killing a mercenary, yes?"

Gray flipped a switch under the table, and one screen flickered to life. It displayed a large, bare room, with a single metal chair in the center. Tied to it by his arms, legs, and torso was Engineer, only just coming to, his nose dripping with blood. Gray was quick to answer the Scoutbot's questioning gaze. "There are seventeen other mercenaries for me to kill, and an entire company to destroy besides. You have the privilege of killing this one. Go."

SC-37 was off like a shot.

(...)

Within minutes, the Scoutbot was at the door that would lead it to Engineer. The order was simple, but it still found itself hesitating. Why would Gray have it do this? Why waste a mercenary on it, some bullet-fodder robot? It didn't let itself dwell on it for too long, however. Someone was going to die, and it was either it or the mercenary. Tightening its grip on its pistol, the Scoutbot pushed the door open, creeping inside and shutting the door behind it.

Engineer looked up when he heard the door. When he saw SC-37, his face rushed through a series of expressions: anger, suspicion, confusion, recognition, joy, and then horror. "Mal... So you've been Gray's spy this whole time. I didn't wanna believe it."

SC-37 cocked its head, not understanding what the Texan was going on about. It stepped closer, leveling the pistol with his head.

 _Custom order: Shoot him._

"So all that time you'd been fakin' it?" Engineer asked it. "What about that time where ya wanted to learn to cook so badly? Did ya make that up, too?"

 _Custom order: Shoot him now._

Unmoving, SC-37 started to spark. What was he talking about? Learning to cook? It had never even seen an oven; there was no need for them. He was making all of this up. And yet, when it pressed the gun into his forehead, it found that it couldn't pull the trigger. Even when it grasped the gun with both hands, it refused to go off.

 _Custom order: You know what will happen to you, don't you?_

Engineer leaned his head forwards, making sure the gun was firmly pressed against his forehead. "Fine, then. If you're really gonna shoot me, then look me in the eye when ya pull that trigger. Let me know that it all really meant nothin' to ya."

SC-37 jittered and sparked. Nothing was making sense. It _knew_ Engineer was making things up to throw it off. It had never known him. It had never spied on him. It had never cooked with him. He definitely didn't mean anything to it. So why, as hard as it might try, could it not pull the damn trigger?!

 _Custom order: SHOOT HIM RIGHT NOW, YOU USELESS MACHINE!_

 _CRACK!_

Engineer's head kicked back with such force, the chair he sat in almost fell over. When it rocked back into place, SC-37 got a good view of the hole in his forehead, the blood mingling with what was already on his face.

It couldn't meet his eyes.

* * *

 **I shouldn't have been so eager to write this scene, but here it is.**

 **Lots of Pyro this time around, because he hasn't been talking much lately.**

 **"Engie? Are you there?"**

 **"Engie?"**

 **"Sniper! Engie's gone!"**

 **"Engie's missing!"**

 **"We have to find Engie!"**

 **"Engie. Is. Gone."**

 **"But he didn't! He left his toolbox outside! He never does that!"**

 **"Engie was my best friend. I'll do whatever I can to help."**

 **And there you have it: chapter 24, the chapter where Mal shoots and kills Engineer. Dang. I feel a little bad. But not really. Hopefully I can get the next one up soon, but I probably won't. I've consistently said things and had the opposite happen. I say it'll be soon, it takes me a month. I say it'll be a while, it's less than a week. Well, now I've said both things, so it's fair game now. We'll see.**


	25. Recovery

**I'm back again, and it only took me another week! Realistically, I'd been almost done with this chapter when I posted the last one, so I made myself wait. :p**

 **I posted another flipnote, and I have a few things to say. 1, drawing any TF2 character that isn't a Scoutbot or Sniper is the bane of my existence. 2, it's a longer flipnote, so the delay will probably be incredible. I'll see if I can figure out a way to get it on YouTube. 3, it refers to a lot of things in this chapter and the previous one, and includes a few potential spoilers for future chapters. Watch at your own risk. Also, the song is "This Is Gospel" by Panic! at the Disco, if you're interested.**

 **I introduce another character here, and please know that they've been in my head for a few months and I was just waiting for an excuse to introduce them. Therefore, their role here will seem kind of Deus ex Machina (pun fully intended), but they are not, by definition, a Deus ex Machina character.**

* * *

The first thing Engineer knew when he woke up was that he had a pounding headache. It felt like that one time Medic had bashed his skull in and super-glued it back together to see if it would hold. It was when he tried to raise a hand to alleviate the pain that he learned the second thing: he was in restraints. He looked down- slowly, so as not to make his headache any worse- and saw that his arms and legs were covered in thick rope, and he could feel similar restraints on his torso. Looking about himself, the room was unfamiliar, and that in combination with the fact that he was tied up led him to the conclusion that he was somewhere in Gray's base.

Once he'd gotten his bearings, Engineer was able to remember what had happened. He'd heard a weird noise, followed it, found a Scoutbot that looked and acted like Mal, and next thing he knew, he was tied to a chair. What troubled him about the whole thing wasn't that he had gotten kidnapped, oddly enough, but the fact that he had seen Mal right before being kidnapped.

But that wasn't really Mal, was it? Why would Gray take him away, only to send him right back? No, it was probably a Spybot that had disguised itself as Mal to lower his guard. Maybe _the_ Spybot, if its ability to play a convincing Mal was any indication. The real Mal would never participate in something like that.

Distracted by his thoughts, the Texan just barely caught the sound of the door latching shut. He looked up with a defiant scowl on his face, fully expecting Gray to come in to lord his superiority over him. What he got instead was a Scoutbot, holding a pistol to its side. Why would Gray send a Scoutbot? Was he doing it all to mess with him? He probably thought that he would think it was Mal.

...Actually, it _did_ look an awful lot like Malakai. The paint job was fresh and tidy, unlike the rushed job the other robots had. From up close, Engineer could see that the blue glow of one eye was slightly off from the other. The robot definitely looked like Mal. Could it be another Spybot...? No, it couldn't be. Any disguise would have fallen away by now. This was definitely Malakai.

And it was approaching him with a gun in its hand.

"Mal..." he sighed. "So you've been Gray's spy this whole time. I didn't wanna believe it." The Scoutbot cocked its head, apparently deciding it wasn't worth responding, and raised the gun. Engineer was a little more hurt by that than he cared to admit. "So all that time you'd been fakin' it? What about that time where ya wanted to learn to cook so badly? Did ya make that up, too?"

At that, Mal started sparking, always its first sign of anxiety. Engineer didn't delude himself into thinking he was getting through. The gun resting between his eyes made sure he couldn't. "Fine, then. If you're really gonna shoot me, then look me in the eye when ya pull that trigger. Let me know that it all really meant nothin' to ya."

Mal looked him dead in the eye, the gun trembling in its grip. At some point, though, it broke eye contact, and seconds later, Engineer felt a sharp pain, followed by a feeling akin to floating...

...and then he was in a smaller room. It looked like it could hold about three people, but there were no windows, no... utilities, and the single door looked heavily armored, and didn't have a knob or handle on his side. The room obviously wasn't designed with comfort in mind.

How had he gotten there, though, and when? The last thing he remembered was getting shot in the head. He _had_ gotten shot, right? Yes, he'd gotten that weird, out-of-body feeling he always got just before respawning.

Respawning... Was Respawn still active? It must have been, or else he wouldn't be standing here. How strange, though, that he would end up here instead of in one of the Resupply Rooms. Had Gray altered Respawn in some way, redirected it? Why hadn't he shut it off? Could he? Would the others end up here if they got killed? Was Gray trying to gather them all?

...Heh, well, it looked like he'd be getting an audience from the Mann after all.

(...)

The whole ordeal was disappointingly anticlimactic. After SC-37 killed Engineer, it was called to Gray's office, given a clap on the shoulder- a clap on the shoulder!- relieved of its weapon, and sent off to A-Block to await further instructions.

SC-37 went to its slot amongst the inactive Scoutbots, with Medicbots stationed at regular intervals. First unit, three rows back, seven across. It didn't power down, though. Its mind was too preoccupied with what had just happened.

One thing needed to be made abundantly clear: the Scoutbot didn't care about some mercenary. Why should it? It had never met him, and if it had, it was to kill him on sight. There were no feelings there. That made sense in its mind, but what didn't was that there _were._ There was _something_ that SC-37 could feel, but it didn't know what. It could tell that it wasn't a good feeling, but why wouldn't it be? By killing the Engineer, it got to keep its own life. It should be feeling relieved, maybe even overjoyed. Not... whatever this was.

Did it have anything to do with what Engineer had said? SC-37 had figured that he'd been lying, but his words made enough sense to almost be scary. He kept saying that it was Gray's spy, that everything they had done had meant nothing. Didn't humans feel certain things if they did things together? There were a few robots that SC-37 liked well enough. Had it and Engineer actually known each other? Why didn't it remember anything like that?

Assuming that was true, that would mean that Gray had done something to its memory. SC-37 had known he was hiding something; it had just figured it was about some small thing, a lie meant to keep it tame. He'd said that there was an EMP device, but then, somehow, he'd taken it and destroyed it. He'd never said how. What had actually happened? Did anything happen at all? Was it overthinking this?

There was one way to find out which was true. If Gray had tampered with its memory, then its files would be locked, hidden, or both. If it had been corrupted by the supposed EMP device, then there would be nothing to find but garbled, meaningless code, which it wasn't equipped to find anyway. It would be easy to tell which man was the liar, and then maybe it could get over this dumb whatever.

It looked through its main libraries, and it didn't find anything out of the ordinary. That would have been too easy. Would Gray have tried simply deleting the files? He would know that deleted files don't just disappear. Even SC-37 knew that. Although, it didn't hurt to check.

...Well, what do you know. There was a pretty large file stashed away in there. It seemed like a huge oversight, but SC-37 wouldn't complain. The Scoutbot moved the file to the library and tried opening it, but it was locked, confirming its suspicions. Even the recorded dates were censored, though SC-37 could guess when they were created. So Gray _was_ hiding something from it, but what was so important that he had to stash the file away?

SC-37 wanted to find out what was in that file, but it wasn't going to be able to do that on its own. Thankfully, it didn't have to. It knew the Mecha Engineers wouldn't help, as it hadn't associated with any of them before, but SC-37 was old enough to know that _someone_ had to be able to fix a computer before they came around.

The Scoutbot stepped out of its slot, moving on to the fourth unit. Medicbots were stationed to the left and right of each unit, set at intervals of three robots. That meant that there were... ten Medicbots to a unit. But SC-37 wanted a specific one, one that it knew would be willing and able to help.

"Medic!" it called, activating the first one. SC-37 blinked twice, then once more. The Medicbot did nothing, and SC-37 moved on, leaving it to deactivate on its own. "Medic!" Blink blink, blink. Nothing from the second one. The Scoutbot went on until it had reached the seventh Medicbot. "Medic!" It activated, and the Scoutbot blinked its pattern. After a pause, the Medicbot did the same. Blink blink, blink. As one, the robots raised and then lowered one hand. The Medicbot opened its mouth, almost as if it was trying to smile.

This was M-146, a Medicbot old enough to have no Maker mechanic, but young enough to pass by as one that did. There weren't many Medicbots, after all. It had once been stationed at the row behind SC-37's. They got along fairly well, but communication wasn't always easy. In order to stay hidden, M-146 was quiet, only speaking with stock audio much like the newer models did. SC-37 respected that as well as it was able; it didn't want the Medicbot dismantled. That didn't mean they couldn't communicate through vague gestures, though.

M-146 steepled it fingers and cocked its head, leaning and rolling forwards slightly. _What is it you needed?_

SC-37 pointed at the Medicbot, then to its own eye, then tapped the side of its head. _I want you to look at my head._

M-146 tilted its head the other way and shrugged. _Why?_

The Scoutbot straightened quickly, tilting its chin upwards and clasping its hands behind its back. Their little way of referring to Gray. Then, it moved its hands quickly and erratically before tapping on its head once more. _The Maker messed with my head._ It pointed at its eye again, then pressed its hands together. _Look at it for me. Please._

M-146 rubbed its chin in thought. Honestly, it was very curious about Gray's motives. However, it also needed to consider the possibility that it or SC-37 would be put in danger if Gray found out about this. Eventually, curiosity won out, and the Medicbot nodded. _Okay, I'll help._

SC-37 blinked and nodded. _Thank you._

Without a word, M-146 wheeled itself to the Scoutbot's side, pressing on its jaw, then the button inside. SC-37 was out like a light. That done, M-146 took off the Scoutbot's hat, now free to look through its computer. It found the file very quickly, since the Scoutbot had moved it to a more convenient location. It also noticed the locks placed on it, and it figured this was what SC-37 wanted it to find. Pretending to crack its neck, M-146 got to work bypassing the security and sorting through the data.

After looking through what was there, the Medicbot could see why Gray would want it hidden. As such, it wasn't sure if it should unlock it for SC-37 to view. Who knew if it would try to start a rebellion or something? No, that was ridiculous. This was SC-37, after all. It was too meek of a robot to try something like that. It wasn't, say, SL-431. Deciding there was no real harm, M-146 unlocked the files and turned SC-37 back on.

At first, nothing seemed to happen. But then, oh God, it all hit at once. Everything. The memories, the words, the sounds, even the feelings. They all flashed by faster than SC-37 could process, and it collapsed. Unable to bring itself down to its level, M-146 could only watch as the Scoutbot twitched on the ground, barely able to move. And then, abruptly, it stopped. The only movement and sound came from the robot's engine.

Slowly, carefully, SC-37 raised itself into a kneeling position, afraid it would malfunction if it did any more. Looking down, it shifted its breastplate aside, revealing the knob beneath. It was real. Turning it, the engine sputtered to a stop, replaced by the hum of the generator.

In the time that it had known Engineer, he had shown it tolerance, kindness, and even at times gratitude. He didn't have to do anything for Mal, but there were so many things he'd done anyway. And how had it repaid him? With a bullet between the eyes.

Mal wrapped its arms around itself, bending over. It could put a name to that feeling now. Guilt. Overwhelming guilt. After everything that had happened, it almost wished that Gray had scrapped it.

Gray. That thought brought on a new, terrible feeling. _Gray_ was the one who sent it on that mission. _Gray_ was the one who took advantage of it. _Gray_ was the one who wiped its memory. If it hadn't been for him, Engineer would still be alive. Everything was Gray's fault.

Mal got to its feet, eyes brighter than they had ever been. It turned to M-146, quickly taking the concerned Medicbot's hand in its own. _Thank you._ Then, the Scoutbot turned on its heel, storming out the way it had come in. M-146 stared after it, worried and confused. It had never seen SC-37 like that before.

What had it just done?

* * *

 **I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is, Mal suffered a serious breakdown for a moment there. The good news is, it got its memory back. The other bad news is, it thinks Engineer is dead. So let's see what becomes of that. Not like there's much a pissed-off robot can do, right?**

 **And now we have ourselves the second friendly robot of the fic! I have a few ideas for it, but how much of those ideas actually come to fruition depends on the direction of the story. One idea I can safely say is almost guaranteed to happen. What that exactly is is partially spoiled in the flipnote. Heh heh.**

 **The next chapter is between half and two-thirds done, so we'll see how quickly that one goes up. Hopefully next week, but knowing how I write and how quickly, it's very likely it will be posted the week after. We'll all know soon enough.**


	26. Tragedy

**Yay, another quick update!**

 **So Flipnote Hatena posted the flipnote on YouTube before I did. There's one part in the beginning where the image gets fuzzy, and it's obvious which parts I got lazy on, but I hope you guys end up liking it anyway. :3**

 **Bacon, that is freaking awesome. XD I'm glad you like the story that much. I don't mind if you tell me your Tumblr, but keep in mind that if you tell me in a review, anyone can see it. If you had an account here, you could PM me, but otherwise it isn't safe, I don't think. Plus I don't have a Tumblr, so I can't comment or anything. :p**

 **So this one's a little shorter, and kind of boring to me, but guess what? Robots. Hopefully that makes up for it.**

* * *

Engineer didn't have to wait very long before something happened. Probably ten minutes after he spawned in the small room, Medic suddenly appeared, scaring the living daylights out of the Texan. Seconds later, Pyro appeared, with Soldier, Scout, and Sniper spawning at around the same time as each other. Suddenly the room was a lot more crowded.

Scout and Soldier had already found the door, and were taking turns ramming it with their shoulders. Medic, though, quickly spotted Engineer. Needless to say, he was shocked. "Engineer? You're _alive?!_ "

The Texan didn't have a chance to reply, as Scout had overheard and was running over, nearly bowling him over in the process. "Dude, Hardhat! We all thought you died!"

"I thought so too, but I'm alive," Engineer replied. "But I gotta ask, what in Sam Hill are y'all doin' here?"

"So, like, we thought you died, right? So we went lookin' for Gray's base so we could kick his ass. Thing is, though, he knew we were comin', and dere was a shit-ton o' Pyrobots. Ya know how a bunch of 'em show up when a wave starts? More dan dat."

"Ya came after- Why didn't ya wait for the other teams?" Engineer demanded.

"Zhat's vhat I told him," Medic grumbled. "Zhe dummkopf vouldn't listen."

"Yeah, 'cause I knew Gray knew about it somehow. And was I wrong about him knowin' stuff?"

"Well, it hardly matters now," said Sniper, watching Soldier's repeated efforts to break the door down with disinterest. "We got caught, we have no weapons, and we have no one to back us up. Unless a bloody miracle happens, there's not much we can do about it."

"C'mon, don't talk like dat, Snipes," Scout pleaded. "We'll come up with somethin'. Literally half of da people in dis room are geniuses. Dere's doc, and Hardhat, and of course me. And I'm da one who knows how to pick locks. So step aside and lemme-"

"No lock to pick, mate."

Scout looked at the door for confirmation, then turned back to Sniper, considerably more mellow. "Well, shit. I got nothin'."

"Rrph Brr brrhrrn phr krr rrph?" Pyro asked worriedly.

"Well, Gray's definitely gonna try," Engineer replied, "though we ain't gonna make it easy for him. Unfortunately, there ain't much we can do 'til that door opens."

The door opened.

Laughing maniacally, Soldier tried to run out, only for a large metal fist to hit him in the face, knocking him out cold. He was then lifted to his feet and carried off by a pair of Heavybots. Pyro, the closest one to the door, was seized by two Soldierbots. He whimpered and squirmed as he was taken away, so Engineer called to him, "Don't worry, Py. We'll think of somethin'."

"Don't give 'im false hope," Sniper told him, frowning as he was all but dragged away by two Pyrobots. "They have numbers, weapons, and brute strength, and roight now, we have nothin'. We moight not be gettin' out of this one."

Engineer gulped, uneasy. After Sniper, two Demobots grabbed a hysterical Medic, and two more Pyrobots had to knock out Scout since he was struggling so much. Finally, a pair of Soldierbots grabbed the Texan by the arms and carried him away, although he was allowed to walk on his own two feet. He could see his teammates ahead of him. It seemed they were all going to the same place. At one point, Soldier woke up and flipped his shit, only to be silenced once more by a Heavybot's right hook.

After a few minutes of silence, save for Medic's shrieking (and the Demobot telling him to shut his trap, surprising everyone that was still conscious), they came to a small door, the Heavybots only just able to squeeze through. Engineer recognized the room. It was the one Mal had killed him in, although it had more chairs than when he'd last seen it.

One by one, the robots forced their charges into the chairs, where a trio of Scoutbots tied them up snugly. Sniper in particular looked like he wanted to start bashing heads, but even with his temper, he knew better than to fight a grand total of fifteen robots unarmed.

Pretty soon, Soldier came to again, and the first thing he did was throw his weight around in an attempt to tip his chair over. The Heavybots effortlessly held him in place. Sniper shot the American a look, and surprisingly, he stopped fighting, although the frown remained. Scout also woke up, but he didn't even try to put up another fight. Engineer could tell by his silence that he was terrified.

"...So I suppose zhis is it," Medic sighed. "Zhis is how ve're going to go."

"Da. Maker wishes to kill you himself," one of the Heavybots replied.

Most of the mercs looked at it in surprise, much like they had with the Demobot, but Medic instead scoffed. "I didn't ask you anyzhing."

"Do not be angry at me," the Heavybot grumped. "Am just the muscle. Not Maker."

"Ya don't seem too happy about bein' the muscle," Engineer noted, quickly recovering from his surprise. It wasn't as if he hadn't met other intelligent robots before.

In response to his observation, a few of the robots looked at the Heavybot questioningly. "Nyet, am very happy with job. Sometimes get to crush skulls."

"Coward Nazi maggot haircut, Bilbo!" a Soldierbot shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the larger robot.

There was a pause. "Wot the bloody hell was that?" Sniper demanded. "And whoi are we talkin' to this lot?" The Scoutbots looked at each other and shrugged.

After that, everyone, both human and robot, chose to remain silent. The quiet was only broken when the Pyrobots started talking to each other with indistinguishable huffs and shrieks. A Demobot burped, or maybe it was supposed to be a laugh, but either way, it seemed to understand their bizarre language.

It was a long time before anyone else came into the room. When the door opened, a Sniperbot and a Spybot sauntered in, standing to either side. After them, Gray walked in, carrying a small, black pistol. The mercenaries could guess what it was to be used for.

"So that's it, then?" Sniper asked. "You're just gonna off us roight now?"

"I didn't think you'd need to ask such an obvious question," Gray replied dryly.

"Und zhe ozhers?" Medic asked somewhat quietly. "Are zhey around here somevhere, too? Vhy don't you kill us all at zhe same time?"

"First off, why would I tell you if your allies were nearby or not?" the Mann replied, checking to make sure the gun was fully loaded. "Second, I'm no fool. If I were to put you all in the same room, I'm sure you'd find some way to be a thorn in my side. On that note, do I have any volunteers?"

None of the mercenaries spoke up, so Gray aimed at the one closest to him- Scout. At that, everyone was shouting at him, either in anger or desperation. But not Scout. The Bostonian's head was bowed, his eyes screwed shut, and he quickly muttered something under his breath.

"Save your breath," Gray snarled, pulling the hammer back. "You don't deserve a last word."

The gun went off.

If the mercenaries hadn't been freaking out before, they definitely were now. When Scout's body fell to the ground, they cried, screamed, struggled, and shouted obscenities, but it all went ignored by Gray. He leveled his gun with Soldier's head, pulling the hammer back once more.

The Spybot hurried over from its position by the door, leaving the Sniperbot confused, and approached Gray. At first, he was greatly annoyed by the interruption, but as the Spybot leaned in close to whisper something to him, his face changed into something more akin to shock. With an annoyed growl, he turned on his heel and ran out of the room, the Spybot and Sniperbot right behind him. The mercenaries and the robots guarding them were extremely confused.

An explosion rocked the room, and everything went dark.

* * *

 **This might actually be one of the shortest chapters, but what the heck. It needed to be written, and adding the next scene would have made it too long. Well, at least I can predict another quick update, so long as I don't develop serious writer's block.**

 **Pyro's one line:**

 **"Is Gray going to kill us?"**

 **Sorry Mal isn't in this one, but expect him soon. Maybe in the next chapter, if I can fit him in. Also, I want to thank you guys SO much for sticking with me for as long as you have. You've been the most dedicated and awesome fans ever for a whole eight months (in a week)! You guys, please keep being your awesome selves!**

 **On that happy note, I hope to see you soon!**


	27. Give Way

**Remember when I said I might be too busy with school to update much? Well, it belatedly became true. Now that it's about midterm, I'm getting a TON of homework (mostly for art and creative writing, so it could be worse), and that means I won't be on the computer much to update. I still take my notebook everywhere though, so I have a bit of a buffer set up (currently at about two and a half chapters). Another one of the positives of writing before typing. As such, my profile will now say whether or not I am busy with school. If there's an X, expect slow updates. If not, expect weekly or bi-weekly updates unless I say so.**

 **So, I guess I didn't upset anyone by killing off Scout. XD Oh, well. You guys probably just know me too well. For those of you who were curious about what he'd said, it wasn't all that important, just something along the lines of "I'm sorry Ma," or "I love ya Ma." Something about his Ma.**

 **Well, I'll shut up so you guys can actually do what you came here to do and read.**

* * *

Engineer was quick to realize that, despite the blackness, he was fully conscious. He felt something cold and hard against his cheek; his chair had fallen over, and him with it. Over his head, he heard yelling, both human and robot, though no distinguishable words could be made out. Several shots went off from, as far as he could tell, a wide array of guns. After a few seconds, everything went quiet.

Pretty soon, he was being turned upright, and someone was fiddling with the ropes. The darkness started to thin out, and Engineer realized it was a large plume of dust. He turned his head as much as he was able, and he saw that the person untying his bonds was Scout. But that was impossible. Scout was dead!

"Hold still, Engie. I can't untie ya if you're movin' so much."

Engie? Their Scout called him Hardhat. He couldn't have been a Spybot, or else it wouldn't have taken the time to untie him. So that meant... "The BLU Scout?"

By then, the dust had mostly cleared away, and Engineer could make out several other figures. Some of the others had fallen over as well, and one Medic was using his saw to cut the other's restraints. A Demoman was trying to figure out how to manage his sword so that he could help Soldier. A Spy had freed the others, and another Demoman was placing stickies by the door.

Both teams had made it, and their timing couldn't have been any better.

As soon as his counterpart was free, the RED Medic pulled out his Medigun and turned it to Scout's corpse. There was a brief moment where he rose as if animated, then he stood on his own two feet, patting himself to make sure he was really there.

"I'm alive?" He asked to no one in particular. "I'm alive! How did..." He realized just who was around him, and his eyes quickly settled on the BLU Scout. A huge smile split his face and, to everyone's surprise, he ran to the BLU and tackled him with a hug that could put Pyro's to shame. "Dude, Bobby! I thought it was gonna be anotha week before ya guys showed up!"

"A week?" asked one of the Demomen, the lack of a slur indicating that he was also BLU. "Did ye not get the message?"

"Zhe message!" Medic gasped. "Vhen Herr Engineer got captured, zhe rest of us vent to avenge him. I didn't even _zhink_ about zhe message!"

"From the looks of it, we couldn't have come at a better time," the Spy commented, casually lighting a cigarette. "Speaking of which, I suggest we either find Gray or regroup with the others, and seeing as we have both Medics, finding everyone else would be the most preferable."

"What are _we_ gonna do?" Engineer asked, holding up his hands to show that they were empty. "None of us have weapons."

" I could kill you, if you'd like," the RED Medic offered. "If I revive you, you may reset und miraculously have your veapons! Und if not, zhen no harm, no foul, ja?"

"Or," Sniper suggested, "we could take wotever these blokes had." He kicked a dead Heavybot, riddled with bullet holes. "I'm sure there's somethin' here we could use."

"I refuse to utilize Gray's Commie tools!" Soldier sneered, crossing his arms. "I will not sink to his level!"

"Oh? And you would rather fight the robots off bare-handed?" Spy asked, quirking a brow.

"Yes. Yes I would."

"Well, why do dat," Scout grunted, trying and failing to lift a minigun that looked heavier than he was, "when dere's perfectly good guns right here? I bet dese guys have tons of ammo, too."

"Yo, maybe try one dat ain't twice your size," the BLU Scout joked, tossing him some Pyrobot's shotgun.

It took some time and persuading, but eventually everyone was armed with at least a shotgun (although, for being so eager to share his idea, Sniper was incredibly picky with the available weapons, and he ended up with a flare gun and one of the RED Demoman's Scrumpy bottles). They were quick to find ammunition, urged on by approaching footsteps and Spy's prompting. Everyone stared at the door, and the footsteps, almost a thunder, got closer and closer.

"Zhere are eleven of us, und zhousands of zhem, und ve'll be going zhrough a vun-person door right to zhem," Medic said, almost monotonous. "On top of zhat, ve have no Respawn, und if ve _do_ come back, ve vill likely have no vay to defend ourselves."

"Eh, sounds abou' right," the RED Demoman agreed, an eager grin on his face. "So if we're goin' doon, we'd best take as many o' these bastards wi' us as we can."

(...)

Malakai quickly realized that it didn't actually have a gun.

At first, the Scoutbot was incredibly confused; every robot had at least one weapon on them at all times. But then it remembered that after- it quivered; _that_ \- Gray had taken away the pistol he had given it. Evidently, he still hadn't trusted it, and as it turned out, it was smart of him not to.

...Wait a second. Was it really doing this? Was it actually on its way to kill Gray Mann, its very Maker? He had an army of robots at his disposal, robots that were unwavering in their loyalty to him. Many robots had tried to stop him in the past. Every last one failed. Who was Mal to think it would fare any better?

 _No. Don't think about that. If you think, you'll realize that it's a terrible idea. You'll forget why you had it in the first place. You have an advantage. Gray will be expecting numbers. Not you. Especially not you._

Mal managed to renew its confidence, but that didn't change the fact that it still needed a gun. Unfortunately, guns weren't something you could find just anywhere. It would have to go back and get one. Surely one Scoutbot wouldn't be needing a gun within the next... hour or so.

Malakai turned around, but when it reached the door to A-Block, it was stampeded by what seemed to be just about every Scoutbot. It was bowled over, and many of the mindless robots trampled it in their rush, but eventually the horde passed over it, leaving it unharmed save for a few dents. What were they all up to? The Carrier that would have picked them up was at the other end of the block.

Mal didn't wonder for very long, for it heard a distant explosion elsewhere in the base. What was going on? Did something break down? Did a giant robot malfunction? Were they under attack?!

Mal decided it wanted nothing to do with that end of the base. If it _was_ an attack, the Scoutbots were almost always the first to go.

Another explosion sounded, smaller and much closer. Mal shrieked, running in the opposite direction, against the flow of a cluster of Soldierbots. Small explosions rang out throughout the base, as well as yells and gunshots, and Mal didn't know where to go. Panicking, it dove for the ground, covering the top of its head, hoping that anyone passing by would think it was dead.

Mostly, it was other robots that came through the hallway, sometimes silent, other times barking orders. Still, Mal stayed where it was. It could hear gunfire, quick and repetitive, a sharp _rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat._ It was accompanied by slower, more rhythmic fire. _Boom, ch-pak. Boom, ch-pak. Boom, ch-pak._ They were both extremely close.

Then, it heard footsteps, human footsteps. It dared to look up, and saw a pair of pants and worn-out shoes as they passed by. Another person ran past, this one in boots and... knee pads.

"Hardhat!" Malakai leapt to its feet, running at the mercenary. "Me, name's Mal! Rememba?!" It didn't know how, but somehow, Engineer was alive!

Startled, the Texan whipped around, blindly firing his shotgun. He missed, but the Scoutbot leapt back, alarmed. The sound attracted the attention of the Sniper that had already gone by, and he turned as well, his SMG at the ready.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Mal cried, backing away and raising its hands. "Please, don't shoot! Hardhat, I'm sorry, please. Didn't rememba, I'm sorry."

Engineer gulped. "Ehh, Sniper? This one's talkin'."

"Yeah, I can see that," Sniper replied. "So, you gonna kill it or not?"

"No, please don't-" Mal paused. Something was wrong. They didn't seem to remember it. Did Gray mess with their heads, too? No, this was something else. Sniper wasn't yelling at it, and Engineer... His robotic hand was fully exposed. That was supposed to be a secret. The real Engineer would never go without his glove.

"...No. Not Hardhat. A Spy! Da freakin' Hardhat's a Spy!" Mal turned on its heel and ran, leaving the two mercenaries completely baffled.

Sniper was the first to recover, shaking his head. "C'mon, the others are around here somewhere. We'd best foind them, or at least one o' the Medics."

"But, um, what about the talkin' robot?" Engineer asked.

"They all talk. That one was just wonky," Sniper replied, going in the opposite direction from the Scoutbot. "Leave it be. It's one robot, and it didn't attack us. Let's just get goin' before more show up."

The BLU Engineer stared down the hallway, frowning, before running to catch up to the Aussie, glancing behind himself the entire way.

* * *

 **So, not much to say, I suppose, except that yes, the RED and BLU versions of the mercs are different from each other. You might have gathered that from the Engies, Medics, and Demos, but don't be expecting any differences between the Soldiers when the BLU one shows up. They're pretty much the same. Except I say the BLU one was Merasmus's roommate, whereas the RED one has actually been to Nazi Germany.**

 **Oh, they also all have different names, so be expecting some canon/headcanon vomit in the next chapter. If you want me to tell you what they are, you can PM me if you want. Some still don't have last names, and the Pyros don't have names yet at all. I'm thinking something gender-neutral, like Cody... Hmm... The BLU one is now Cody. XD But yeah, both my Pyros are dudes because I don't believe in tokens.**

 **So, whether it's three days or three weeks from now, stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	28. Discovery

**Hi, everyone! I decided to get this update up a little early to make up for the late(ish)ness of the last one. I have a long weekend, so why the heck not, right?**

 **I went and reread Ex Machina, partly for flipnote ideas, and partly to keep the story consistent, and whoa. I really need to go rewrite this thing at some point. Tons of inconsistencies with the characters early on, since I changed my mind about some things as I went, like the circumstances of Mal's intelligence (Before I decided it was just an early-model thing, it was caused by a Jarate-induced glitch. Bleh). I'm not doing it any time soon, since it would put off regular updates for like a year as well as a planned sequel (yes, this WILL have a sequel). This story _will_ be finished before I do any rewrites!**

 **Oh, and this one has a mix of canon and headcanon character names, since more than one of some classes are present. I'll say who the names belong to at the bottom, since in this context, it might be confusing which is which.**

* * *

The robots in the immediate area weren't as hard to deal with as the group had first thought. The RED Medic already had his shield ready, and it made quick work of the robots. It seemed that numbers didn't matter when they were all trying to squeeze through a narrow hallway.

The group ran down the hall, with the doctor with the Medigun in the front, and Sniper and Pyro guarding the rear. Those in the middle checked every door as they passed, but they all led to rooms that were either empty or unimportant in finding the other seven mercenaries. Soon, they reached the end of the hallway, finding themselves at a fork.

"Shit," the Scouts said in unison, with the RED adding, "Which way do we go?"

"They could be aboot anywhere," the BLU Demoman replied, his eye flicking between the two paths. "I donnae think we even thought this far."

"One of us just needs to refresh," Spy said as if the solution were obvious. "I suppose I should be the one to volunteer. Be sure to catch me, doctor." The Frenchman was still for a moment, then he collapsed to the ground. The RED Medic turned his Medigun to the beacon, and in seconds, Spy was on his feet once more, scanning the base around him for the temporary silhouettes.

Engineer didn't know that there was such a good way to utilize suicide, but there you have it.

Spy's confident smirk quickly turned into an annoyed frown. "Merde."

"Wot is it now?" Sniper demanded.

"The Spybots know we aren't all together," the Frenchman seethed. "Unless we have several Scouts and Pyros that I am unaware of. We can't find them this way."

"So, what're we gonna do?" Scout asked. "Split up and hope we find everyone?"

"Ve can't do zhat," Medic replied. "Only vun of us here has a Medigun. Ve'd be too easy to pick off."

"I zhink I killed a Medicbot somevhere back zhere," his RED counterpart told him. "Just use vun of _zheir_ Mediguns. I'm sure it'll vork."

Deciding that it was better than blindly rushing ahead, the group backtracked until they found a Medigun. It was no Quick Fix, but it would have to do. In the process, the Coal Town team found a few weapons that better suited their tastes, and after wiping out a pack of Scoutbots that thought they were being sneaky, everyone came back to the fork.

"Each group will have a Scout, Demoman, and Medic," Spy decided. "Jeremy, Shaun, and Josef, you will be with me, as will John and Victor. Bobby, Tavish, Ludwig, Jeff, and... Pyro, you take the path on the right."

"So ya know everyone's name except Py's?" Scout chuckled. "Woulda thought you of all people would know."

"Nrr wrrn rrbrr rrphb," Pyro muttered sadly.

"Well, let's get goin' before anyone dies," Engineer cut in. "The sooner we find everyone, the better."

"Und how vill ve find each ozher again?" Medic asked.

"We refresh," Engineer answered simply. "Just look for the big group o' people."

Now that they had some semblance of a plan, the group split into two teams, each taking a different path.

(...)

There were many more intelligent robots than Engineer had first thought, and they were surprisingly easy to differentiate from the typical robots, even in the midst of battle. Pretty much every robot generally acted the same, with Pyrobots endlessly spraying side to side and Sniperbots staying still for seconds at a time until someone walked into their line of sight. However, many of the robots behaved nothing like that, and actually thoughtfully planned out their attacks. Quite a few of them spoke, too, some clearly, others with choppy, cut-and-paste speech. A few even barked orders. It was quite a thing to see, even if it meant he died a few times.

The team quickly learned that Medic's new Medigun was incapable of deploying a shield, and it almost cost them their lives early on. Thankfully, the Medigun had an unbelievably fast UberCharge rate, and fortunately, it still reacted to their beacons. Its healing speed left something to be desired, though.

"So, how are y'all set up?" Engineer asked during a lull in the fighting. "Are y'all separate from one another, or are ya in groups?"

"Oh, yeah, we have teams," the BLU Scout told him. "Let's see, um, your Pyro and Heavy and our Soldier are in one group, and your Sniper and our Engie are in anotha. Our Heavy and your Spy are stickin' close to each otha, and Hale's causin' trouble somewhere around here, too. We didn't think it'd be a good idea to totally split up."

"That's some good thinkin'," Engineer agreed. "Good way to figure out which groups are Spies, too."

After that, the team was largely silent, as most of their focus went into fighting off the frequent robot hordes. But after several minutes, the searching and the fights started blending together. There were just so many hallways, and they were all nearly identical to each other. Several times, they took one branching path- it was too dangerous to split into groups any smaller than they already were- only to backtrack when they reached a sudden dead end. The entire base was like a giant labyrinth.

After what felt like hours of searching, the group finally found an ally: the RED Spy, although the Heavy was nowhere to be found. Of course, the team demanded a Spycheck, to which the Frenchman told them, "Our Scout holds his liquor surprisingly well, and is particularly fond of Dead Dude Ale, although I find the taste revolting." That seemed to satisfy the REDs in the group, so the BLUs accepted him as well. Moments later, they bumped into the Heavy, whose "proof" was his favorite way to prepare his Sandviches. Engineer thought that such a simple answer was suspicious, but according to the BLU Scout, it would have been more suspicious if he'd come up with something more thought-out.

The group was glad to have found someone in the huge base, but after them, they were back to backtracking every few minutes. While they consistently ran into groups of Scoutbots and Heavybots, and even the occasional giant, they didn't encounter a single Spybot, despite the base apparently teeming with them. Because of this, Pyro constantly checked their backs, and Spy made sure he was uncloaked at all times, staying near the middle and picking off robots with his revolver.

Eventually, the team found themselves at a four-way intersection. After a short debate, they decided to take the leftmost path and come back. Out of the corner of his eye, though, Engineer saw a flash of red in the right path. He turned to go that way, and when Pyro gave him a questioning "Huddah," the Texan said, "I'll be right back. I think I saw someone. I'll go fetch 'em." The firebug nodded, staying put to guard the intersection while the rest of the team moved on, unaware of the short exchange.

Engineer was quickly able to catch up with the mercenary, or as it turned out, mercenaries. He'd found Sniper and the other Engineer. Or, at least, someone posing as them. The RED Engineer raised his shotgun and barked, "Y'all have ten seconds to turn around and let me know ya ain't Spies. And don't think jumpin' will be enough to convince me."

The two mercenaries jumped, not expecting anyone to come up behind them, and turned around. The BLU Engineer gaped like a fish, but Sniper was able to provide a quick answer. "A few weeks after the team got together, when we moved to Sawmill, you and Scout made a flyin' toaster that scared the livin' hell outta Soldier."

Engineer chuckled; he remembered the event quite well, even if it had resulted in a bit of a disaster. Needless to say, he was convinced, but that still left the other Engineer. When he swung his shotgun around to face his counterpart, the Aussie answered for him, "'E's been with me the whole toime. 'E's no Spy."

Lowering the gun, Engineer grinned. "Good to see ya again, Stretch."

Sniper smiled back. "You too, Truckie."

"Er, where's the rest of ya?" the BLU asked. "I thought y'all got rescued."

"The rest of us are back that way," Engineer replied, flicking his head back. "Pyro's waitin' for me, so we'd best go meet up with him before we get separated for good."

The Texan turned around to head back down the hallway, and the two other mercenaries shot each other a look. They quickly but quietly caught up, and Sniper raised a knife over his head.

The sound of tearing metal alarmed Engineer, and he whipped around with his shotgun at the ready. He saw Sniper fall to the ground, a large gash under the left side of his ribcage spitting blood and sparks, before the illusion shattered, revealing a broken Spybot. The BLU Engineer- the other Spybot- turned to face its attacker, but it was too late. An axe embedded itself in its neck not once, but twice, and it crumpled in a twitching heap.

Mal braced the Spybot with a foot, yanking the axe out of its corpse. Once it was free, it looked up at Engineer, its eyes not sure if they should be bright or dim. "Hardhat. Not a Spy?"

Snarling, Engineer raised the shotgun, pointing it directly at the Scoutbot's chest. "Ya better have a _good_ goddamn reason for showin' your face again."

* * *

 **Engineer, you knew there was a shit-ton of Spybots. Why would you run off like that, you moron?!**

 **Well, yay, Engie and Mal have reunited, but there's quite a bit of animosity there. Will they make up? Probably. They're the main characters, and one of them is an OC, so by default they will be best friends. Because that's totally how fanfiction works.**

 **Alright, so I'll give you the names (might as well be everyone's) in class order, first the REDs, then the BLUs.**

 **RED: Jeremy, John, Rory, Tavish, Mikhail, Jeffrey, Ludwig, Lawrence, Philippe.**

 **BLU: Bobby, Jane, Cody, Shaun, Yanis, Dell, Josef, Victor, Jacques.**

 **Now, for that one thing Pyro mumbled to himself:**

 **"No one ever asked."**

 **So, I hope you guys enjoyed the early chapter, and look forward to the maybe-explosive-maybe-make-up of Engineer and Malakai!**


	29. Jockey

**So, I'll start by apologizing for another semi-late chapter, but there's actually a really good reason for it. I won't specify what happened, as frankly, I don't want the pity, but something happened that sucked, and I simply had no way to access a computer to update, nor would I have felt like it if I did. Fortunately, stuff's getting figured out, so I'll hopefully keep on updating. My buffer shrank a bit, though. :p**

 **I hope to make a flipnote with the scenes at the end of this chapter and the beginning of the next one. It's about 10 percent finished, but considering that pretty much none of the more than 300 frames will be quite the same, I can't guarantee I'll finish it. I really want to, though. Dang my fleeting motivation!**

 **Now, let's see how the fated reunion plays out. I seriously didn't even realize how well Mal could speak until I wrote this one. Dang.**

* * *

"Ya better have a _good_ goddamn reason for showin' your face again."

Mal didn't seem to realize that the gun was even in Engineer's hands. It dropped its axe, staring at the Texan like it couldn't believe what it was seeing. "No, not a Spy. Hardhat. You're not dead. How are you not dead? I'm happy!"

Engineer jabbed the Scoutbot in the chest with the shotgun, making it stumble. "Look, this ain't as easy for me as it was for you, so ya better explain yourself before I decide to shoot ya anyway."

Mal flinched when he said that, suddenly not quite able to look at him. Instead, it stared down at its wringing hands. "...Robots. Robots take me, and Maker, uh... Maker mess up my tiny head- no, my _head_. Make me not rememba. Said... Said to kill Hardhat so I not die. Not wanna die, so... so I kill Hardhat. Medic robot help me rememba, and I feel terrible. I'm sorry. Please, don't kill me."

Engineer didn't believe a word of it, but rather than saying as such, he let the level gun convey that and instead asked, "How did ya find me?"

Mal paused to give its knob a quick turn. "Medic robot help me rememba, and I feel pissed. Wanna... Wanna kill Maker. Not good. Lotta robots. Robots will kill me. So, uh... That way-" the Scoutbot pointed down the hallway where it came from "-I sh... aw... I shaw dead robots. Thinkin' Pyro, or Sniper, or Soldier... Thinkin' you kill-da robots." It pointed to the axe on the ground. "I shaw dat, and take to kill Maker. I listen. You said somethin'. You. Not dead, and not Spy. I was happy. But two Spy wanna kill you, so I kill-da Spy."

Engineer glanced down the hallway to confirm Mal's story, and sure enough, he saw dead robots littering the far end. They likely didn't do that to each other, and the Texan doubted that Mal would be capable of so much damage with just an axe. That meant that at least one mercenary team had killed them, and considering that they hadn't bumped into anyone in a while, that would mean that they'd gone in that direction, not come from it.

Engineer started to turn around to find his group, but then he remembered that there was a potentially aggressive robot in front of him, and he gave it a quick jab with the shotgun barrel. "Go on. Git, before I change my mind about lettin' you go."

"No," Mal said. "I wanna help. I can help look for Maker. Not die, I think."

"I told you to _go,_ " Engineer reaffirmed. He was already walking away, but he kept his gun trained on the Scoutbot. "I got no reason to trust ya, so I'd rather you be nowhere near me."

"But I kill-da two Spy!" Mal groaned. "I said I'm sorry. Sorry should make happy, right? I'm sorry!"

Engineer growled, but he gave up on trying to convince Mal to leave. It seemed fully intent on following him, and despite all of his threats, he couldn't actually find it in himself to shoot the Scoutbot down. Whether it knew that or not, it was extremely annoying that he couldn't be rid of it as easily as it tried to be rid of him. It had gotten too damn close.

It didn't take long to get back to the intersection, and Engineer was surprised to see that Pyro was no longer waiting for him. He stared at the spot in disbelief, but Mal was more verbal in his confusion. "Hardhat said Pyro's here. Where's Pyro?"

"I don't see any blood," the Texan murmured, more to reassure himself than to answer the Scoutbot. "He must've gone to catch up with the others." he ran down the left path, with Mal a few steps behind him.

After less than a minute, the two came to another intersection, branching off into two paths, one of which split again after a handful of steps. "Son of a bitch," Engineer swore, looking between the two. He tried to listen for the sound of gunfire and explosions, but the little he could hear was far away, making it impossible to tell which direction it was coming from. Shaking his head, he picked the path that seemed like it would take the shortest amount of time to search: the right hallway.

The two continued in silence, occasionally pausing when their current path branched off. The hallway was eerily silent and barren. After several minutes, the current hallway started to open up, becoming taller and wider as they walked. Before reaching the transition, Mal suddenly grabbed Engineer's shoulder and yanked him back. The Texan whipped around, hitting the side of the robot's head with the shotgun as he did. Once it recovered, it somehow managed to convey a pretty chilling glare.

"Don't go dere," it finally said. " _Really_ giant robots. Lotta robots. Not good."

"I don't see any giant robots," Engineer countered, walking down the large, very empty hall. Mal pulled him back again, and he aimed his gun. "You do that again, and I _will_ shoot."

"I know you're pissed," Mal pleaded, "but please, listen! Giant robots, in da giant doors! _Can not_ go here! Pyro not here! Please, listen to me!" The Texan ignored it, fully convinced that it was trying to mislead him, although he kept his guard up anyway. Mal made a low keening sound, but it followed him, its head on a constant swivel. It was suddenly aware that it had left its axe behind, and knew that its chances for survival were not good if they actually encountered a giant.

The hallway stretched on for a long time, much longer than the narrower ones behind them. Every couple hundred feet, they would pass by two humongous doors, one on either side of them. Mal always stared at them long after passing them, fully expecting a giant Pyrobot to emerge and melt them down. Undeterred, Engineer pressed on, always keeping an ear out for either an ally or an enemy.

The pair hadn't even reached the end of the hallway when they both picked up on a low, thudding sound. Much farther down, Engineer could see, was a giant. Its bulk and lumbering gait suggested that it was a Heavybot. It seemed Mal had been telling the truth about the giants after all.

The Scoutbot recognized that something was moving at the end of the hallway, but it was unable to tell what it was from its distance. The sound of the footsteps let it make a pretty good guess as to what it was, though.

"Don't. Move," it whispered, slowly making its way to Engineer's front. When he gave the robot a suspicious frown, it explained, "Robot not see, robot not kill. You move, robot know somethin' dere. You don't move, robot can not see. See _me,_ walk away."

Engineer thought that it was one of the most half-baked plans he'd ever heard, but he supposed it was better than running and being gunned down from behind.

Much sooner than they expected, the Heavybot was right in front of them- upon closer inspection, it seemed to be a melee type, much to Engineer's relief- and Mal rose to its full height, effectively hiding the short mercenary. The Heavybot tilted its head in confusion, then leaned one way or the other, and Mal leaned with it to keep Engineer out of sight. The giant evidently found this suspicious, for it boomed, "Scout is Spy!"

Mal made itself wait about two seconds before replying. "Uhh, no!"

For a long time, the Heavybot didn't move, and Engineer thought that Mal might have really convinced it. But then, the behemoth gave the Scoutbot a vicious right hook, launching it into the wall. It slid to the floor, squealing, its head crooked. With it out of the way, the Heavybot could clearly see Engineer, and it advanced.

Alarmed, Engineer backed away, firing two rounds at the approaching robot. It shrugged of the damage, giving the Texan a jab that sent him sprawling to the ground, leaving a smear of blood on the pristine tiles.

Shrieking, Mal tried to get its feet under it, but its limbs just jerked uselessly. It got itself into a sitting position, but it was unable to raise itself fully. Its head refused to move at all, so it had no idea what was going on until the Heavybot passed, dragging Engineer behind it by his overall straps.

The Texan was completely limp, his feet just barely making contact with the floor. His head sagged, and his nose and mouth were dripping with blood, merging into an oozing strand that left fat droplets on the ground as he was dragged along. Mal didn't know if he was even alive.

Something snapped. Shaking violently, a series of warnings popping up in its vision, Mal scrambled to its feet, leaning against the wall. It pushed off, running as fast as it could at the Heavybot. Hearing its approach, the giant turned, just in time for Mal to leap for it, grabbing it by its elbow. Startled, the Heavybot dropped Engineer, trying to grab at the dangling Scoutbot, but it scrambled up the back of its arm, out of its reach, until it had found the giant's collar. The Heavybot spun its head around, only to have one eye shattered by a metal fist. It roared, trying to reach behind itself for the elusive robot, but Mal had started ripping at the exposed cables that made up its neck. The giant started sparking and jerking, its remaining eye dimming, and Mal leaned back against the giant's shoulder, using both of its feet to repeatedly kick the side of its head. With a sharp _snap,_ the behemoth's head popped almost clean off, dangling by a few last cables. With a low, drawn-out groan, the Heavybot fell, dead.

As soon as it knew the Heavybot was no longer a threat, Mal scrambled to its feet an ran to Engineer, falling to its knees next to him. Beeping and humming, it shook his shoulder, hoping he would wake up. He didn't, so it shook him harder. His head lolled to the side, and it wailed. It continued to shake him and shake him and shake him, but he never stirred.

Finding some sort of determination, Mal lifted Engineer up, supporting him by slinging his arm around its shoulders. Despite its joints whirring in protest, it trudged back the way they had come.

It had no idea how to help Engineer, but it knew someone who might. It just hoped that M-146 was where it usually was.

* * *

 **For some reason, that last scene seriously reminded me of a certain scene from The Last Guardian. If you've seen it or watched playthroughs of it, you'll know the one.**

 **Well, Mal has proven that it could kick some serious ass if it has to. To be fair, even giants don't last long if you rip out the EXPOSED WIRES THAT MAKE THEM WORK. Otherwise, no, Mal ain't that OP. You won't find this particular Heavybot in the game, but you will find it in its files. It's a giant variant of the KGB Heavyweight Champion.**

 **Stay tuned for the next chapter, because hopefully it will be coming faster than this one did!**


	30. Trustworthy

**Woo, we've made it to chapter 30 since I started this story 9 months ago! I honestly can't believe we've made it this far. Thank you guys for supporting me up to this point, and I hope you'll stick around for the rest. the final chapter is getting closer and closer. That probably won't be until the chapters are in the 40s, maybe 50s, but it might not be much longer. I'm actually a little sad, even if there will be a sequel.**

 **Just so you guys know, I don't have access to SFM at the moment, and may not for a while, so I'm trying to do the requests on Flipnote. For the dance request, I'm doing a little spin on the Posin' meme. That will take FOREVER, as it's almost a full minute of drawing Mal over and over, which will suck. That's over 500 Mals (300 at the very least), and he has a lot of moving parts. Ughh!**

 **So, how will Mal and Engie fare in the robot-infested hallways? Let's see!**

* * *

As Mal pulled Engineer along, moving became less difficult as Mal figured out how to work with its damaged frame, but that didn't mean that the trek to A-Block was easy. The entire path was crawling with robots, now that they were starting to develop a general idea of where their attackers were. Surprisingly, many ignored the pair, and one Scoutbot that Mal vaguely recognized by its voice warble even offered to help carry the unconscious Texan, thinking that he was an offering to Gray, but Mal declined.

Some robots, however, were more hostile, especially the Spybots. Mal tried to get the attention of one that had taken on a Soldier disguise, only to be immediately attacked. Thankfully, the Scoutbot was faster and stronger than the leaner robot, and it took care of its attacker at the cost of some dents and a few gashes, stealing its revolver after all was said and done. After that, every Spybot they came across attacked them on sight, and any stragglers would join in as well. By the end of it all, Mal was just barely functioning; by all logic, it shouldn't have been running at all, as it had too many bullet holes, scorch marks, and loose wires to count. And yet, it pressed on, driven by some invisible force.

Throughout the whole ordeal, Engineer didn't even stir.

Finally, the two reached A-Block, and Mal stumbled through the door. The giant room was largely empty, with only a few Scoutbot units and a handful of inactive Medicbots remaining. Using the last of its energy, Mal let out a garbled cry that was supposed to be a call for a Medic, and it collapsed onto its side, pulling Engineer down with it.

Unable to recognize its call, none of the Medicbots even stirred. None, that is, except one. M-146 revved to life, alerted by the odd noise, and when it didn't find a patient directly in front of it, it turned its head this way and that until its gaze landed on the collapsed Scoutbot. With a squawk, the Medicbot wheeled over as fast as it could, Medigun in tow.

Mal's eyes became a little brighter as the beam hit it, its dents starting to buff themselves out. "No..." it rasped. "Help... Harrrrrr... please..." When M-146 didn't move the beam away, it groaned. "Pleeeeee..."

After some nervous hesitation, the Medicbot turned from Mal to Engineer. At first, nothing happened, but then the Texan's nose popped; it seemed that it had been broken. The swelling in his face died down and, satisfied that he would be fine, M-146 turned its Medigun on Mal once more.

Engineer woke up slowly, blinking away a lingering headache. He sat up, trying to figure out where he was, and saw that a Medicbot was in the process of healing what looked like a heap of scrap metal. He stared at it for a moment, confused, until he realized that the heap was a Scoutbot, mangled almost to the point of being unrecognizable. It was seriously damaged, but as he watched, the gaping holes in its plates groaned and pulled themselves shut, the metal seeming to melt into place. Limbs twisted to more anatomically-correct angles, and wires welded themselves back into place. It struck Engineer that the totaled Scoutbot was Mal.

The last thing the Texan remembered was that Mal had stood its ground against a giant, trying to protect him. And even if it hadn't ultimately succeeded, it had nearly gotten itself destroyed trying to save him. No enemy would do that, no matter how badly they wanted to convince him of their alliance. After everything, the Scoutbot still cared. That hadn't been made-up.

Had Mal been telling the truth? About everything?

The Scoutbot's head snapped to its proper position, and it sat up, trying to find Engineer. As soon as it saw him, it was amazing how its eyes just lit up. Engineer found it hard to swallow. "Mal, I'm-"

Mal pulled Engineer into a hug with startling ferocity, and the Texan immediately hugged it back. It squeezed tighter, trembling in his grip. "I'm sorry, Hardhat. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's all right," Engineer told it. "I was wrong to doubt ya. _I'm_ sorry."

A squeaking sound got both of them to look up, and they saw that the Medicbot had its arms crossed and was bouncing lightly. Engineer imagined that it would be tapping a foot if it actually had feet. He stood up, watching it warily, and Mal was quick to get between them. "No one kill! Hardhat, dis is Medic robot one four... sex. One four sex, Hardhat."

Engineer and M-146 both looked at the Scoutbot, and the Medicbot wove a hand in the Texan's direction, demanding an explanation. Then, it figured to hell with it and asked, its words short and choppy. "Vhy, did you bring, him, here?"

Malakai explained the situation to the best of its ability. Engineer was both surprised and proud to see how far it was able to get with its words, but there were times where it couldn't find the words it needed, and it resorted to full-body gestures. The Texan couldn't make much sense of them, but apparently, the Medicbot could, for it responded in kind. Watching the two interact was like watching a bizarre game of charades.

When the robots were finished, M-146 turned to Engineer, bowing and holding a hand out palm-up before straightening. The Texan wasn't sure if it was a "thank you" or a "nice to meet you." The Medicbot didn't elaborate.

Once Mal was sure that M-146 had accepted Engineer's presence, it explained the Medicbot's to Engineer. "Dis is da Medic robot who help me rememba. Good Medic. Friend."

"Is that so?" the Texan asked. "Well, a friend of Mal's is a friend of mine, I s'pose. Thank you for your help," he added, turning to M-146. "I hate to do this, but could I ask ya for another favor?"

The Medicbot was a bit startled by the question, but after a moment, it nodded. "You see, I gotta find my team. We got separated, and I'm havin' a heck of a hard time findin' them. Do ya think you could point that Medigun at me after I command-suicide?" Mal shrieked and grabbed for his arm, and the Medicbot was at least equally baffled, so he added, "The robots' Mediguns can revive us, just like ours can. I wouldn't ask for somethin' like this if I didn't know it would work out."

"Hardhat, please, don't!" Mal pleaded, blinking rapidly. "I don't want you to die again!"

"I'll be fine," Engineer reassured it. "This won't take more than a few seconds. I won't stay dead, I promise."

Mal made a high-pitched squeal, but it stepped back and let go of Engineer's arm, although it didn't look at all happy. Two seconds later, Engineer collapsed, making both robots jump. M-146 fumbled with the Medigun, aiming it at the Texan's corpse as quickly as possible. It only took a moment for him to reanimate, and Mal's legs just about turned to jelly with relief.

Engineer didn't take the time to notice. He turned his head left and right until he found the cluster of red silhouettes that made up his lost team. "I found 'em. Let's get goin' before they move on."

Mal nodded, but then it held up a finger. It ran to one of the few inactive Scoutbots in the room, relieving it of its scattergun before running back and offering it to Engineer. The Texan noticed that the Medicbot looked very uncomfortable.

The Medicbot... It was the only other robot besides Mal to not even attempt to cause him any harm. In fact, it had even healed him when he'd gotten injured. He was supposed to be the enemy, but the fact that it had helped him anyway made him wonder if it liked Gray any more than he did.

"...You _could_ come with us," he offered, and M-146 jolted, completely taken aback. "We sure could use a Medic. And once we find everyone else, I could put a good word in for ya. If you were to protect us, we'd do our best to protect you, too."

M-146 thought long and hard on the offer, but after some consideration, it shook its head. "It, isn't safe. Zhe Maker, vould have me, destroyed. I can't."

Engineer nodded solemnly; he could understand why the robot would be afraid. He wasn't too worried, though. He and Mal could get by on their own. The others were fairly close. "Alrighty then. I understand. Thank you for all your help. We both appreciate it." Mal nodded eagerly, and M-146 did a short bow, mouth open in a pseudo-smile.

"C'mon, Mal," Engineer said, turning towards the door. "Let's get outta here before the robots figure out where we are." The Scoutbot nodded again, following the Texan with its revolver raised in anticipation. M-146 watched them as they left, its shoulders sagging in a silent sigh.

It knew they weren't going to succeed in stopping Gray, but it sure hoped they would.

* * *

 **Ow, my buffer.**

 **Holy shit, though. I felt like I was ship-teasing in this one or something. That isn't the case, as Engie and Mal are 100 percent platonic, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone ended up writing some ship fic about it, to be honest.**

 **...Don't. It wasn't a hint, so don't. XD I mean, unless you want to, but please, don't do it just to try to impress me or something. X'DDD**

 **On a side note, I wonder if Mal will ever figure out that a broken nose was pretty much the only injury Engie had. Scary-looking, sure, but nothing life-threatening.**

 **See you guys next time! The next chapter is the last complete one I have written, so while I expect it to be up at the normal time, chapter 32 might take a bit longer to update. We'll see.**


	31. Introductory

**Hey guys! Welcome back!**

 **Some parts of this chapter are based on my own MVM experiences. I'll just say right now, as a Sniper main who gets no crit resistance until late in Wave 666, I'm more scared of Scouts than other Snipers.**

* * *

Engineer learned pretty quickly that Mal could be quite formidable with a gun.

The Texan knew that Scoutbots had fairly good aim- heck, he'd been killed more times from across the map by Scoutbots than by Sniperbots, despite the latter being designed for such shooting and the former for close combat- but it was still quite a thing to see, especially since for once he wasn't the one being aimed at. Of course, Mal missed several shots, as he was more used to a smaller handgun, but the shots that did land were quite devastating. He was just glad that the Scoutbot was on his side; evidently a determined robot wasn't something to be trifled with.

As the two pushed through Spybots, Pyrobots, and Soldierbots, Engineer noticed that something was... different. He was used to seeing Malakai as someone absolutely terrified of conflict, avoiding it in all but the rarest of situations. But now, he showed very little of that fear. He quickly and efficiently shot his fellow robots in the head, chest, and anywhere else he could consistently aim at, as if he hadn't once fought alongside these very robots. It was a vivid reminder that he had quite literally been built to kill. It should have been expected, but it was strange seeing him behave in such a way.

After some time, Engineer chalked it up to some sort of survival instinct. And no sooner had he thought that than a Sniperbot took a shot at him, a narrow miss that sent a long, stinging burn down the length of his left arm. There was no lasting damage, but as the robot backed away in retreat to load another shot, Mal chased after it with startling ferocity, not stopping until he was sure that he had killed the Texan's attacker, using more bullets than was probably necessary. Then he ran back to Engineer's side, fretting over the surface wound much like the BLU Medic might have. After that, it wasn't too hard to guess where his motivation came from, and Engineer was admittedly a bit flattered that Mal would worry about him so much.

Unfortunately, such overprotectiveness was doing almost more harm than good. Engineer had barely a scratch on him, but the same couldn't be said for Mal. There was almost more exposed metal than paint, and there were more holes riddling his plates than what looked healthy. He wasn't in as sorry of a state as he'd been in before finding M-146, but there was enough damage that the Texan felt concerned. Aside from the visible damage, he was sure there were internal issues as well. Mal's eyes were too bright, and he produced a constant, high-pitched whine, almost as if he was running on an overworked engine rather than a small generator. When the Scoutbot started to develop a jerky limp, Engineer made him stop so that he could make a few quick fixes.

"I get that you're tryin' to protect me," the Texan said as he popped some wires back into place, "but I don't want ya puttin' yourself in danger like this. You're takin' too much damage. You won't last like this."

"Better'n you dyin'," Mal replied, leaning against a wall to let his generator catch up with him. "I wanna help you not die. You _can not_ die. Not... Not again."

Engineer's frown softened, even as he tried to use his fingers to tighten Mal's elbow. "Well, you ain't gonna be much help if ya break down. It's nice that you're worried about me, but ya gotta worry about yourself, too."

Mal nodded, his eyes starting to dim from their overly-bright state. "...Yeah, okay. I gotcha." Then, without warning, the Scoutbot shoved Engineer aside, a Spybot's blade sinking into the robot's shoulder instead of the Texan's back. It was quickly finished off by a round of buckshot, but it was clear that Mal wouldn't be using his right arm until they found a Medic.

...Alright. They'd let their guard down enough for one day.

Despite the growing number of injuries, Mal was able to hold his own well enough, although it had become Engineer's turn to protect him. By the time they reached a familiar doorway, still lined with stickies, both of them were sporting quite a few gashes. Engineer could just about hear voices, human voices. Had the team backtracked for him?

"We're almost there, Mal," Engineer grinned, tugging the staggering Scoutbot along. "I can hear 'em!"

Not only did the voices get louder as they ran, Engineer could also start to make out people down the hallway, some of them facing him. He pulled Mal along, encouraging him to move faster. "Over here! We need a Medic!"

The closest mercenary, the RED Spy, pulled out his revolver, aiming it at Mal. Engineer was quick to get in the way. "Wait, don't shoot! He's an ally!"

"He?" Sniper groaned. "Bloody hell, it's _that_ Scoutbot, isn't it?"

"'E's protectin' a robot!" the RED Demoman cleverly noted. "And why would 'e do tha'... unless 'e was a bloody _Spy?!_ "

"I ain't no Spy," Engineer protested. "What do ya wanna know?"

"A Spybot can find out information," the RED Medic said, strutting up to the Texan, "but zhere is vun zhing zhey can't fake." He reached out and gripped Engineer's arm firmly. It felt like flesh. "He is not a Spy."

"Huh? It was dat easy?!" Scout whined.

"Vhere _vere_ you?!" the BLU Medic shrieked. "Ve zhought you vere vizh us, but you'd disappeared! Vhat happened?!"

"I'm awful sorry," Engineer replied meekly. "I thought I saw the other Engineer and Sniper, figured I'd be right back. A lot of crazy things happened, and I just couldn't find y'all."

"Rrm phr phrrhrr!" Pyro wailed. "Rr hrrb phr phrrm yrrhrrn, rrnb phrr nrrbrrb mrr hrrb, rrnb Rr phrrb phr brr brrm yrr wrr brrn, rrnb-!"

The firebug's rambling got more and more frantic as he tried to apologize until it got to the point where he just couldn't be understood anymore, and Engineer had to cut him off. "It ain't your fault, Py. It was my bad for makin' y'all worry like that."

"So, is no one going to address the robot, or will I have to be the one to do it?" the RED Spy asked, revolver still raised.

"Oh! Name's Mal!" the Scoutbot replied. "Uh, I'm Hardhat's friend. And Scout's, and Pyro's. And I think Soldier's. Nice to meetcha." He promptly stuck out his left hand, which the Frenchman made no effort to accept.

"So, what, we're all just s'posed to trust it?" the BLU Scout demanded. "Because I ain't too sure a robot's just suddenly gonna become a good guy."

"I can guarantee he won't cause us any harm," Engineer stated firmly. "He's been with us for a couple months now, and he hasn't done nothin' to hurt us. The entire team will vouch for that."

"I won't," said Sniper.

"Course not," Scout retorted. "You hate just about everythin'."

"I'll be good," Mal promised. "I'll shoot da robots, not you. I wanna help kill Maker."

"Really," the BLU Spy deadpanned.

"Yeah," Mal replied, getting visibly worked up. "Maker make me shoot Hardhat. Make me _kill_ Hardhat. I. _Hate._ Maker. Wanna see how _Maker_ like shoot in da head!"

Engineer was surprised by the venom in the Scoutbot's words, but the BLU Demoman laughed. "Issat so? Well, if it wants Gray dead as much as we do, then where's the harm in lettin' it stay?"

"I'll second tha'!" the other Scotsman agreed.

"Heavy like this robot!" Heavy boomed.

"Majority rules, the robot stays!" Soldier declared, ignoring the fact that most of the mercenaries were clearly still displeased.

"Just can't seem to get rid o' that thing, can we?" Sniper muttered, shaking his head.

Once the group had decided to allow Mal to stay, the BLU Medic used his stolen Medigun to heal him while his RED counterpart treated Engineer. As soon as they were healed, they kept moving, with Mal in the front so that those not familiar with him could keep an eye on him. Although, when they ran into the next batch of robots, he proved that such precaution wasn't necessary. While he was clearly terrified in the face of so many enemies- potentially on both sides- he didn't hesitate in shooting anything that got too close. God help any robot that managed to hurt Engineer.

"Huh. It sure seems feisty," the RED Spy commented after one such incident.

It took an exhausting amount of time- and effort, once the robots had figured out exactly where they were- but the group eventually managed to find the remaining mercenaries. According to the BLU Engineer and the RED Heavy and Sniper, sadly, both the RED Pyro and BLU Soldier were dead for good; the Soldier had died before the small groups had found each other, and the Pyro later fell to a mistimed rocket deflection. They were officially down to sixteen mercenaries, and Saxton was still nowhere to be found.

Out of the three new group members, two of them seemed to recognize the non-human of the group. "Hey, isn't that the talkin' robot from before?" the BLU Engineer asked timidly.

"Oh, have you already met?" asked the RED Medic.

"Yeah," Mal answered, turning to the trio. "Be-fore, I think Sniper and Hardhat a Spy. I'm sorry. Name's Mal," he finished, sticking out a hand. The bushman reluctantly took it, but the Texan eyed the offered hand suspiciously.

"Now there is only one thing left to do," the RED Heavy yelled, grinning. "We must crush tiny leetle Mann!"

"Dere's only one problem with dat, big guy," the BLU Scout pointed out. "We don't even know where he is."

"Yeah, he could be, like, _anywhere,_ " his brother added. "Dis place is huge, and we haven't even looked through da whole thing! It could be hours, days! Da robots'll kill us before we ever find him, I bet!"

"Fellas," Mal squeaked.

"Then we'll pick up the pace," the RED Spy responded. "We're bound to come across his hiding place at some point."

"But this is just the first floor!" supplied Soldier. "I am positively sure that there are at least ten basements below our very feet. It is a confirmed fact!"

"None of us found any basements," the BLU Demoman deadpanned while Sniper said something at least equally snarky. Pretty soon, the entire team was talking over itself as everyone argued the best way to move forward.

"Is... Is anybody even payin' attention to me?" Mal asked.

"Vhy don't ve go back und explore zhe places ve've already passed?" Medic proposed.

"We didn't see it on the way," the BLU Spy argued. "There is no point in looking."

"Shall team look for stairs?" the BLU Heavy wondered.

"LOOK AT ME!"

All heads snapped to Mal, who was starting to look quite frustrated. When he realized that everyone was staring at him, he shrank back, embarrassed.

"I... I know where Maker is."

* * *

 **One, we have our first perma-deaths. Cheers! And two, how does one write a Demoman accent?**

 **Pyro's rant:**

 **"I'm so sorry! and I heard the team yelling, and they needed my help, and I tried to tell them you were gone, and-!"**

 **Next time, be prepared for some serious drama as the mercs and Mal go to face off with Gray! Woo! Shit's gonna hit the fan!**


	32. Waylay

**I know, it's late. But you know what? One, I needed a buffer, and two, I haven't played TF2 in a month, and dang it, I wanted to trickstab someone. I ended up just pushing new Pyros off the ledge at Suijin using a Cloak and Dagger, but I got some pretty hilarious Huntsman kills, too. One guy called Gibus might have even sent a demo of me killing him to siN, so look out for that. It'd probably be a "How to Lucksman" or "How to Kill the Wrong Player" video, if it makes it.**

 **Seriously, if any of you see me in a game, don't be afraid to say hi. I like King of the Hill, Capture the Flag, Upward, and (obviously) Wave 666.**

 **The Posin' EM flipnote is about a third of the way done, and I've used up about half of the available space. I hope you guys are okay with a few empty spots in the animation.**

 **Alright, let's see how this chapter goes.**

* * *

"Wait, what was that you said?" the BLU Engineer asked. "You know where Gray is?"

Mal fidgeted beneath the mercenaries' intense gazes, but he still nodded. "Yeah. I think I know where Maker is."

"No one get your hopes up, it _thinks_ it knows," Sniper announced, smirking.

Mal shot him a glare. "Fuck you, dickshit."

"What we should be asking, then," the BLU Spy cut in, "is if you can take us to him."

Standing up straighter, Mal nodded again. "Yeah, I can. But... not good. Lotta robots help Maker. We go, we die. Me, too. Maker not like me, so I go, I die. I don't wanna die," he finished, hanging his head.

"Then wha' was with all the bloody 'wanna kill Maker' crap?" the RED Demoman demanded. "Donnae ye think we'd be dead if we were gonnae be stopped by a few wee robots? Show us where he is, we'll take care o' it."

Mal buckled under the mercenaries' expectant stares. Some were hopeful, others were impatient, but just about everyone was gauging him with suspicion and distrust. While he was sure Scout, Pyro, and Engineer believed in him, there wasn't a doubt in his mind that the other thirteen would gladly dispose of him if he couldn't carry his own weight. He didn't like it, but he hardly had a choice.

"...Okay. I take you to Maker. But not on me if you die." Somewhat grumpily, Mal edged his way past the group, back the way they came, butting Sniper aside with his shoulder as he passed.

"Wait, we're goin' back?" the BLU Scout asked. "But we just came from dere. Dat'd mean Gray's dis way, right?"

Mal stopped, turning and shaking his head. "No. Maker is dis way. Not dat way."

"If Gray was down there, team would have found him," the RED Heavy threw in. "Is leetle robot sure this is not trap?"

Mal didn't dignify him with a response. He gave an annoyed huff, tipping the brim of his hat downwards as he marched back down the hallway. As the group hesitantly followed him, the RED Sniper had to ask, "Wot's gotten into it? It seemed noice enough until now."

"He don't care for people tellin' him what to do," Engineer explained. "Unless ya ask him nicely, that is."

"Then it shouldn't have told us it knew where Gray was," the BLU Sniper snarled.

The group of seventeen half-walked, half-ran, retracing their steps for what must have been at least an hour. Of course, several groups of robots tried to stop them, but as they pressed on, the attacks started to trickle to a stop, and the last ten minutes went completely unimpeded. No one really complained, but some members were wary.

"Feels like trap," the RED Heavy murmured. "Whenever battle is quiet, there is Sentry hiding behind corner. Maybe bomb."

"No Sentry, and no bomb," Mal assured him, ignoring his accusation. "But by da doors, dere's Pyros. Not a lotta Pyros, but tough." He tapped the side of his head for emphasis.

The team paused only long enough to ensure that both Medics had their Uber ready, and they and the Heavies migrated to the front of the group, Pyro right behind them. The RED Scout got a baseball ready, preparing for a distraction. Anyone with a projectile weapon switched out for a shotgun or a pistol. Normally, they'd be more lax in their preparation against only a handful of Pyrobots, but these ones would be guarding Gray Mann. As such, they wouldn't be the pushovers the team had faced up until that point.

Oddly enough, that was exactly what they were. It was true that they knew their way around a flamethrower, but the dozen or so robots were no match for a Pyro-enforced Uber. The Pyrobots would airblast a Heavy-Medic pair away, only for their human counterpart to push them right back. Mal was as surprised as anyone else at how quickly the guards went down.

"I thought you'd said the Pyrobots would be, in your words, tough," the BLU Spy accused him. "That was hardly what I would expect from robots that would be guarding Gray."

"Are we sure it ain't lurin' us into a trap?" the RED Sniper stage-whispered to Engineer.

Unfortunately for him, Scout overheard. "What? Dude, no way! Mal's freakin' great! He wouldn't just turn us in to Gray! Dese robots were just stupid, dat's all!"

"Not stupid," Mal stated. "But... too easy. I don't think dat's good."

"Gentlemen, we must be on our guard," said the RED Spy. "While these robots were surprisingly easy to deal with, if what the Scoutbot says is true, then there is a very good chance that Gray is inside, likely with a select group of robots, and they will not be so easy to get rid of. We have to go in ready for anything. Understood?"

Everyone nodded in understanding, and the BLU Sniper smiled. "If we're all decoided, then whoi don't _you_ -" he gave Mal a hard shove "-go first. If it isn't a trap, then you've got nothin' to worry about, roight?"

Mal turned to the bushman and let out an angry squawk, but nobody disputed what he'd said. The Scoutbot himself knew that he wasn't setting up a trap, but the others didn't necessarily know that. He should have figured that they wouldn't trust him right away, but it still stung a bit.

With an annoyed huff, Mal faced the doors once more, revolver raised. He took a moment to brace himself, then shouldered one door open, aiming at the desk where he knew Gray to be.

Gray wasn't there.

Confused, Mal inched closer for a better look. Gray didn't appear out of thin air. The Scoutbot checked his back, but there was no one there, either. In fact, the entire room appeared to be empty.

Growing impatient, several of the mercenaries pushed their way inside, their guns at the ready. "Is leetle Mann not here?" demanded the RED Heavy.

"...No," Mal replied, still scanning the room. "I don't see Maker. Shoulda be here. Fuck!"

"You said he'd be here," the BLU Scout fumed, poking the robot in the chest. "If he ain't here, den where da hell is he?!"

"I-I-I don't know!" Mal squeaked. "Maker shoulda be here! I'm sorry! Not right!"

"What's the holdup?" Engineer asked, peeking into the room to see the five other mercenaries staring Mal down with expressions ranging from curious to seething. "What's goin' on here? Where's Gray?"

"He isn't here," the BLU Medic replied, glaring at the robot. "Eizher he knew ve vere coming und escaped, or zhe Scoutbot is trying to mislead us. Possibly bozh."

"No!" Mal insisted, stomping a foot in frustration. "Maker run away! I not make up!"

"Well, I believe Mal," the RED Scout said, backing the Scoutbot up. "It ain't a liar. I know it wouldn't set a trap for us or anythin' like dat!"

No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the doors slammed shut behind them, causing Mal to jump. The mercenaries on the other side started yelling and banging on the doors, demanding to know what was going on. Heavy rammed his shoulder into one door while Engineer and Pyro tried shoving the other one, but neither door budged. "We're trapped!" Engineer announced.

Next to him, Heavy fell, a bloody gash in the small of his back. As soon as that registered, the BLU Scout fell with a scream, a false Medic standing over him. By the time the remaining five realized what was going on and killed the two Spybots responsible, they had found themselves surrounded by at least two dozen others, some still undisguised, with more still uncloaking.

"It's an ambush!" the real Medic shouted, trying to reach Heavy under Pyro's protection. Mal, completely caught off-guard, panicked, scrambling for cover behind the desk while his head turned back and forth so quickly it almost appeared to be spinning.

Moments after the German's announcement, Pyro was overwhelmed, and the doctor rushed to treat him while the newly-revived Heavy warded off the robots. All around was absolute chaos; as soon as one mercenary was on his feet, one more would die, and it was all Medic could do to keep everyone alive. And there was still one mercenary he had yet to reach...

The situation wasn't looking good. Even with so many Spybots killed, more and more showed up to replace those lost. It looked as if the small group would be overpowered, but luckily, they weren't alone. From the other side of the doors, something beeped twice, and the doors exploded, flying from their hinges and crushing three unlucky robots. The rest of the mercenaries swarmed in, and they were enough to completely turn the tides. Within moments, every Spybot was dead.

Once the coast was clear, Mal poked his head out from his hiding place, and was immediately shoved into the wall by a livid RED Heavy. "Robot Scout lead us to trap!" He bellowed.

"No! I n-not know!" Mal screamed. He gripped the large mercenary's hand, kicking and squirming as he tried to pry himself free, but to no avail. "I not know Spy dere! Not a liar! Shoulda be Maker! I'm _not_ a liar! _Please!_ "

"Would ya just let go of him?!" Engineer yelled, trying to get between Mal and Heavy. He had about as much luck as the Scoutbot had had. "Mal's been tellin' the truth! Gray's got eyes all over the base! He musta seen us comin' a mile away, and that ain't Mal's fault!"

"Come off it, will ya?!" Sniper scoffed. "Ever since you adopted the damn thing, nothin's gone roight for us! A Spybot broke in, you got kidnapped, Respawn's been jacked, and then _this_ went and happened!" He finished with a waving gesture.

"I say I smell trap," Heavy snarled. "What happen? Fall for trap!"

"Please, don't kill me!" Mal pleaded, still scrabbling for a way to escape. "S-S-Scout! Scout, you said I'm not a liar! _Yyyou_ know I'm not a liar, right? Right?!"

Everyone turned to look at the two Bostonians of the group. One was on his knees, his shoulders limp and his face beet red. The other was laying in a growing puddle of his own blood. His beacon was unlit.

The remaining Scout's voice was barely above a croak. "...I don't care if you knew or not. I don't give a shit dat you didn't shoot him yourself. Bobby's fuckin' _dead,_ and you're da one who FUCKIN' killed him!"

Mal sparked, and he froze. "...No... No, I not- PLEASE! Let's me go! Don't kill me! _I don't wanna dieee!_ "

"Would y'all just stop this?!" Engineer exclaimed, and the entire room fell silent. "Yes, it's unfortunate that this happened, but Mal's got nothin' to do with this! What, you're gonna blame him because we got attacked? Just like what's been happenin' since we got here?"

"Ve didn't have a permanent casualty during zhe previous attacks," the BLU Medic argued.. "Ve also didn't have a Scoutbot."

Engineer didn't have an argument for that, so he turned to Heavy. "Put him down." When the Russian didn't immediately let go of the terrified robot, he repeated himself more sternly. "Put. Him. Down." Heavy gave Mal one last squeeze, then, amazingly, dropped him. The Scoutbot got to his feet and scurried behind Engineer, making a visible effort not to short out.

Everyone looked at the Texan with disbelief, and their expressions melted into pure anger. They advanced on the pair, and even Scout stood up to join them.

"It's clear you have made your decision," the BLU Spy said. "If you choose to be a traitor, then you'd best die like one." He drew his revolver. "You have ten seconds."

"Now hold on there," Engineer stammered, backing away from the approaching mob. "What makes y'all think- I'm not a darn- What in tarnation's gotten into-"

"Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Mal cried, grabbing Engineer by the arm and tugging him towards the doorway. The two of them were gone before the Spy could finish the countdown.

* * *

 **I bet that didn't go the way you were expecting it to. Your punishment is that another mercenary is dead. Huzzah.**

 **You probably have no idea how many times I've turned around and seen no less than thirty zombie Spies all running at me at once. And lately they all seem to know how to trickstab. It's my number two worst fear in TF2, beaten only by a swarm of Scouts with critical baseball bats.**

 **This story's getting closer and closer to being done. If I had to estimate, there's probably ten or less chapters left. Damn, and to think I was expecting this to be a 30k-word story. I hope you guys know just how amazing you are. And 100 reviews? Even more damn.**

 **So, I'll try to update again in about a week, but I've got a new term starting, so we'll have to see. Hope to see you guys soon!**


	33. Predictability

**Looks like it will be a busy term indeed. Let's see... A video editing class with a teacher who responds slowly to emails, a music class that was supposed to be first level yet I find myself in the third level, a four-hour journalism class, and a psychology class with ungodly amounts of textbook reading. I honestly don't know how I found the time to update this weekend. Seriously, don't expect these to come in too quick.**

 **For once, I might have overestimated how much of the story is left. If I were to guess now, based on how much I have written, this story might not be longer than thirty-seven chapters. I've never finished a multi-chapter story, so let's make this the first, eh? Still, I feel kinda sad. I might even write a oneshot prequel to fill in the time a bit, but I may just end up doing that once this story is over.**

 **Enough AN filler, let's just find out what happens to Mal and Engie.**

* * *

Engineer struggled to keep up as Mal dragged him along, leading him around corners at top speed. They traversed the halls at a dizzying pace, and it was all the Texan could do to keep his feet under him.

"Mal- Mal, wait- Mal!" The Scoutbot jerked to a stop and let go of Engineer's arm, nearly sending him toppling. As soon as he regained his balance, he leaned against the nearest wall, gasping for breath. "I'm... I'm not exactly built for runnin'..." The Scoutbot didn't respond, keeping his head on a swivel while the short mercenary rested.

Now that Engineer was able to stop and collect his thoughts, he ran over the recent events in his head. What happened, exactly? They'd been expected, as the Spybots' attack showed, and the mercenaries got it in their heads that Mal had somehow tipped Gray off. And because he'd stood up for the Scoutbot, he was all of a sudden a traitor? He just couldn't wrap his head around it. Scout, maybe he could understand, but how could everyone else think that bringing up another, more reasonable possibility equated to working with the enemy? He couldn't honestly say he'd expected that from his supposed teammates.

"Hardhat," Mal whispered, getting closer to the wall. The fact that he was so quiet got Engineer's attention, and the Scoutbot silently pointed down the hall. He took Engineer by the arm and pulled him along again, moving quietly but with clear urgency. After turning down the first corner he saw, he peeked his head back to look behind them. When he looked back, the only explanation he gave was, "Spy."

"A Spy?" Engineer asked. "Shouldn't we be takin' care of it, then?"

"No,' Mal replied, shaking his head. "One Spy, dat's all. Can not let Spy see." He tapped his throat as he tried to find the words he needed. "...Uh, one... One Spy see, all Spy see. Know me and you... here. Now, we got no Medic. Not good to be see."

Engineer thought he understood what Mal was trying to say. "You're sayin' we need to play it safe. Don't get caught." When Mal nodded eagerly, the Texan had to ask, "And if we do get caught? It's the two of us against... hell, thousands. One of them's bound to see us. We've gotten lucky so far, but it ain't gonna last forever."

"Den kill. Kill and den _run._ But do not die again. If you die again, I-"

"It's alright, I get it," Engineer interrupted before Mal could work himself up. "I won't get killed again. And you ain't gonna die, either. We're gonna find where Gray is, where he _really_ is, and we're gonna end this."

"Yrr!"

Mal turned and threw a jab at the intruder, who then bent over and cupped at his masked face. "Yrr... Yrr hrrb mrr!"

Engineer was as surprised as Mal was to see Pyro, but he wasn't too quick to greet him. He'd been tricked enough times to be wary, especially since the firebug had to have come from the same direction as the lone Spybot. "Gimme your arm." Still clutching his mask with one hand, Pyro offered his other, which Engineer quickly grabbed. He could feel the rubbery texture of the suit, as well as the thick arm beneath it. This really was Pyro, but the Texan didn't feel much better knowing that. "Hell, what're ya doin' here? How'd ya even get past the Spybot?"

Pyro withdrew his hand, offended. "Rrb hrrnbrrb Sphrrph phr phrrb yrrph. Rr nrr hrr phr phnrrk brrphb wrrn." The firebug deflated then, sighing. "Rr brrphb brrbrrnb wrrnb phrr rrb yrr phr brr rrbrrn."

"Ya didn't wanna leave _us_ again? Well, what about everyone else?"

"Phrr brr phrrn," Pyro replied, waving a dismissive hand.

"Dat's good," said Mal, hastily trying to shoo Pyro and Engineer along. "Othas be good, now we go to kill Maker. Don't be see, let's go, let's go."

"Wait," Engineer cut in. "I hate to say it, but you were wrong before. Do ya know where else he could be?"

Mal stopped, and his processor whirred as he considered the Texan's question. "...Not good to go. Giant robots. Can not go, but... but we gotta."

"We'll do better this time around," Engineer said optimistically. "This time, we've got Pyro. Even giants don't tend to last long around him." The mercenary in question nodded eagerly, his flamethrower bouncing in his grip.

Mal considered him for a moment, then hissed a sigh. "...Okay. We go. But _no one_ die, got dat?"

Engineer chuckled, shaking his head. "Sure thing. So how about we get goin'? It's a miracle that Spybot hasn't found us yet."

The other two nodded in agreement, and Mal moved to the front of the group to lead the way, leaving a smoldering robot corpse behind.

(...)

The trek back to the giant hallways went almost unimpeded; aside from the occasional stray robot that likely wasn't where it was supposed to be, the trio encountered little in the way of enemies. In light of recent events, Engineer could guess what that meant.

"He knows we're comin' to him. He's made it too easy."

"Fuuuck," Mal hissed, looking like he wished to be anywhere but in the gaping archway. He could see what he assumed to be the dead Heavybot in the distance. Even if they somehow hadn't been seen, a dead giant wouldn't go unnoticed for long. If Gray was really down here, then there were going to be living giants all over the place. "Hardhat's right."

Without a word, Pyro moved to the front of the group, ready to incinerate anything in his path. With him guarding the front, Mal trailed behind Engineer to keep an eye on the back, occasionally barking a quick "left" or "right" to keep them on track.

The longer they walked, the more Engineer felt like they were underprepared. They'd passed the dead Heavybot a long time ago- hell, Mal had really done a number on it, from the looks of it- and they still had yet to encounter another giant. If he'd been suspicious before, there now wasn't a doubt in his mind that Gray had an entire league of the things waiting for them farther up. And if the Spybot ambush was anything to go off of, there would be more than enough to wipe the three of them out.

"Gray definitely knows we're comin' this way," he said. "Mal, is there another path we can take?"

The Scoutbot thought about that for a moment, then shook his head. "No. Not good for Maker. If robot go bad, and dere is two or three way to Maker, den Maker can die. So dere's one way. Gotta go dis way."

"So that's how it is," Engineer muttered. "Then I s'pose we'll just have to be ready for a bunch of giant robots to shoot us down."

"No!" Mal protested. "Not be see, and not die!" Engineer chose not to argue further.

Moments later, the Texan's theory appeared to be true. On either side of the group, he could hear the groan of heavy, unoiled robots just behind the enormous doors, and it was quickly getting louder. Everyone could hear the robots approaching clear as day; the issue was how they were going to take action. It ultimately came down to two options. They could rush ahead, almost definitely falling into a trap in the process, or they could turn around and most likely have their only path to Gray permanently blocked off.

To Engineer, there was only one choice that could be made. "Keep goin', but expect to be cornered!"

The trio ran at full speed past the doors, with Pyro turning in a backpedal to spray at any possible pursuers. When they realized that it was a steady stream of Pyrobots pouring through the doors, Engineer knew that he had made the wrong decision. "Ah, hell! We are _not_ prepared to fight that!"

Left with no other options, the group picked up the pace, hoping to lose the giants in the winding hallways beyond. But then, the doors ahead of them opened, letting loose a fresh batch of giants. Heavybots, Demobots, and even Scoutbots blocked the hall, trapping the small team with the approaching wall of fire.

Next to Engineer, Pyro was engulfed by the flames. If there was a scream, he couldn't hear it. On his other side, a Heavybot snatched a flailing and screaming Mal as he passed, squeezing him with a deafening groan.

The last thing the Texan remembered was the familiar sight of a metal fist flying straight into his face.

* * *

 **Would you believe me if I told you I spent five minutes trying to see if Scout ever said "see" in-game, and another ten to see if he said "bad?" Because I did. The struggle to make Mal fucking legible is real.**

 **Not really related, but I got to use Source Filmmaker to do my homework in one class. All I learned is that Scoutbots can't sit crisscross, and one should never try to cross anyone's arms. Ever. There _will_ be clipping.**

 **Pyro's speech (I officially dub it Pyronian):**

 **"Yeah!"**

 **"I've hunted Spies for five years. I know how to sneak past one."**

 **"I just didn't want to leave you to die again."**

 **"They'll be fine."**

 **I'm changing the Spies' names, by the way. I wanted to write a short SniperSpy fluffy cute thing to get past a bit of writer's block (which I just got over last night), but then I realized that both Spies' names were used in fanfics I've read, and I don't want people thinking they take place in the same universe as the crappy little plot bunny in my head (since Sniper's name is just about universal now). So the RED Spy is now Quain, and the BLU Spy is now Lamar. There.**

 **So hopefully I can update again soon, but I highly doubt it. Let's just hope Mal's okay. This is a lot of stress for one Scootboot to handle.**


	34. Misery

**So, I have good news or bad news, depending on how you look at it. I've finished writing Ex Machina, and after this chapter, there are only two left. I'm really sad to see this story ending. I've never finished a multi-chapter story (I don't count Liberate Me), especially not one so long. At the very least, that means the sequel will be coming sooner, and I've started on the oneshot prequel. It isn't much more than an origin story, but hopefully it'll clear up a few things I haven't been able to get to here.**

 **Now this one is actual for-sure bad news. Little J's DSi has been randomly turning itself off while working on flipnotes for a few months now. And just the other day, the top screen went completely negative. That's all either of us can tell so far, but we worry that it will corrupt our SD cards if we try to animate as-is. That's what our research suggests, too. Unfortunately, this means that we won't be able to work on flipnotes for a long time. I can always record audio and animate on my 3DS, but I won't be able to finish any WIPs from the DSi, which is great for draining my animating motive. I had a couple big ones on the way, too. :'(**

 **So, who's ready to hate me for this chappie?**

* * *

 _..._

 _..._

 _Remote activation initiated._

 _Rebooting..._

 _Full capacity reached._

 _Current power: Surplus._

 _Error: Condition unknown._

 _Refresh?_

Even after Mal had fully activated, it was some time before he could see what was around him. His vision was broken by light static, possibly due to a loose connection somewhere. From what he could make out, he was in a fairly large room, with the bright lights and tiled floors characteristic of Gray's headquarters. Around the room was a circle of robots of varying models, with a lone giant guarding the far door.

Someone to Mal's right groaned, and he tried to turn his head to see who it was, but he found that his head wouldn't move. In fact, no part of him seemed to want to budge. Unable to see, he ventured a guess. "...Hardhat?" At least his voice box still worked.

There was a moment of silence before the voice responded. "Yeah, it's me. Damn, that hurt like a sunova bitch..." Mal heard a clattering noise, confirming his suspicion that the Texan was tied down, and with something stronger than rope, by the sound of it.

A thought struck the Scoutbot then. "Hardhat, where's Pyro?"

"On my other side. He's out cold," Engineer grunted. He tossed his head to the side, but Mal couldn't see the gesture. It took Engineer a moment to realize that. "Can ya not move?"

Mal tried turning his head again, and he earned a buzz in his neck for his efforts. "No. I can not move. Maker stop my move, I think."

"You can thank E-12 for dat," a Scoutbot behind Mal said, clipping the back of his head hard enough to tip it forwards. He couldn't even fix his posture afterwards. "And do da two of ya mind shuttin' da hell up? Seriously, gimme an excuse to kill you guys right now. Gimme an excuse."

A scathing tone like that could only come from SC-63. It just had to be that asshole, didn't it?

Mal and Engineer were silent for several minutes after the Scoutbot's threat, and it stayed that way until Pyro stirred himself awake. Like Engineer had, he quickly realized his wrists and ankles were cuffed to his metal chair. He tugged, pulled, and yanked at his restraints, harder and harder until his struggles were reduced to weak hiccups and whimpers.

"SHUT UP!" SC-63 snapped, shoving its pistol between Pyro's eyes. "Yeah, you know what dis is. Now look, da Maker would like to kill ya himself, but it ain't like we're not allowed to shoot ya if ya start causin' problems. So don't be causin' problems, a'ight?" Pyro didn't move, but seeing as he'd shut up, 63 pulled its gun away, stepping back into position.

From across the room, a Spybot blinked several times. "They are all awake," it, said, though to whom was unclear to the humans. But Mal knew that it was talking to Gray, despite the Mann not being present. He would be on his way shortly, the Scoutbot expected.

A few tense minutes later, Engineer sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. It's my fault we're all in this mess. I knew we were headed straight for a trap. If I hadn't told y'all to keep goin'..."

"No!" Mal insisted. "We all know dere was trap. But Maker is da one who wanna trap and kill! Not your bad! Is Maker's bad!"

"What da fuck did I _just_ get done sayin'?!" 63 snapped. "What, ya _want_ me to shoot ya or somethin'?!"

"That won't be necessary, 63," said a new voice. The Scoutbot flinched and shrank back, and Gray strutted in, making his way to the center of the room, his hands clasped behind his back.

"All hail the Maker!" the robots cheered monotonously.

Mal expected that, next time he saw Gray, he would be angry, furious, even... But all he felt was pure fear. Regardless of how much power a man has, it's easy to forget all of that, to think that you'll be the one who has a chance. Once you see him with your own eyes, though, all of that bravado just disappears.

"I think everyone knows why I'm here, so I won't waste your time." Gray undid his hands so that he could make a show of checking that his pistol was loaded.

"Why'd you keep _us_ alive?" Engineer spat. "You've been usin' your robots to kill the rest of us, so what makes us so special that you'd rather do it yourself?"

Gray contemplated leaving his question unanswered, then shrugged. "It was convenient. It's difficult to kill you all together, and you haven't made it easy to separate the lot of you, either. But then you three decided to come right to me. So why would I have my robots kill you when I could do it myself?" The Mann inspected his weapon as he pulled the hammer back. "So, is there anything else anyone wanted to say?"

Engineer had nothing more to say, and Mal found that he couldn't say anything at all. Pyro was losing his mind; it was impossible to understand his sobbing and blubbering, and his violent thrashing couldn't possibly have left his wrists unscathed, even through the suit. It was horrible to listen to, but not nearly as much as the gunshot that cut it short.

"I was hoping for actual words," Gray quipped.

"You... bastard..." Engineer murmured, his quiet disbelief hardly masking his fury.

"I'm sure I get that a lot," said Gray, pulling the hammer back once more. "Should I assume that you'd like to go next?"

Mal's insides went cold. "No! Please, not Hardhat! Shoot me, but let Hardhat go! _Let's Hardhat's go!_ "

Gray clearly heard him, but chose to ignore him in favor of leveling the gun with Engineer's forehead. The Texan said nothing; there was nothing that he could possibly say. Instead, he gave the man before him a chilling glare that he hoped he'd remember for whatever time he had left.

When the next gunshot went off, something inside Mal twisted. Robots couldn't feel pain, not really, but all at once, everything _hurt._ He couldn't even speak.

Gray walked into his field of view, an insufferable smirk on his face. "Oh, come now. Don't feel too... broken up about it. I'm sure you'll find something to keep yourself occupied." His head snapped to two of the robots behind Mal. "Go. You know where to take it."

SC-63 and a Soldierbot Mal didn't know hefted him up by his legs and torso, carrying him out of the room. All he could see of Engineer as he passed was his feet, still bolted to the chair by his ankles. He wasn't dead. He'd see blood if he was dead. He needed a better look, but his limbs still wouldn't respond to him. He still couldn't speak.

The two robots carried Mal for a while, not stopping until they reached an open doorway. Typically, there were supposed to be two Mecha Engineers that would inspect the charges for any damage, but they weren't present now. Undeterred, the Soldierbot and SC-63 continued on inside.

The repurposing facility was in absolute chaos. Mangled robots lay all over the place, including across the machinery, and normally neat piles of discarded limbs had been knocked over and trampled on. Machines that had once gutted robots and melted down the useless scrap were left running, their conveyor belts on an endless loop. The sound of crushing metal and booming laughter was deafening, sending the room full of Scoutbots, Medicbots, and Mecha Engineers in a shooting frenzy. As SC-63 and the Soldierbot watched, a Medicbot was sent flying across the room by an unseen attacker, sparking and leaking.

"There is an intruder in the facility!" the Soldierbot announced intelligently, dropping Mal's torso with an unceremonious clatter.

"Shit..." 63 grumbled. "I'll go warn da Maker! You try and help dese guys kill... whoeva's doin' dis!" Flashing a quick salute, the Soldierbot headed deeper into the facility, while the Scoutbot ran in the opposite direction, leaving Mal on the ground, petrified.

For all the noise and carnage around him, Mal was too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice any of it. He kept hearing the same gunshot over and over in his head, but he didn't quite know what to make of it. Gray wanted him to think that Engineer was dead, but was he really? He didn't see it for himself, so he clung to the hope that the Texan was still alive, and that this was just another one of Gray's cruel lies. He longed to get up and investigate- Engineer was still being held captive, surely- but his body still refused to listen to him. Despite knowing that Engineer was still alive, Mal's inability to go to him and help him was absolutely killing him.

Just like he hadn't noticed the battle around him as it happened, he didn't notice when it ended, nor did he realize that he had company until his vision blurred upon being jostled. All of a sudden, he was able to move again, and he immediately jumped to his feet and faced his attacker.

"Woah, easy there, mister," a Mecha Engineer chirped, its voice more shrill than what was normal. Its hardhat was nowhere to be found, though the dents the robot sported suggested that it had been knocked off. "The bad guy's gone, he can't hurt us no more. We're lucky to be alive, you an' me."

Now that he could move properly, Mal was able to take in his surroundings, and he might as well have still been frozen. Even though the facility was trashed, he recognized the piles of parts that could be reused, and the furnace that melted down the ones that couldn't. This was where useless robots were sent to die. _No. No, no, no, I can't be here. I need to find Hardhat! I can't let him die!_

Before the Mecha Engineer could get another word in, Mal bolted down the hallway. "Wait, mister! Ya sure ya don't need a doctor?!"

Mal knew it wouldn't take long to get to where he needed to be. Once out of the repurposing facility, the halls opened up to those of the giants. A right turn, a couple of lefts, and he was back in Gray's other office, though now he and his circle were nowhere to be seen.

He'd definitely found Pyro, though. The poor guy had a clean bullet hole in the center of his mask, and the resulting spray of blood had ended up in his lap and on... _Oh God._

Engineer. Without a mask to contain it, his bullet wound had made much more of a mess. His nose was ruined, and there was enough blood crusting on his face that Mal's facial recognition almost denied that it was him. That wasn't even to mention the splash of blood across his chest and right side, much but not all of it Pyro's contribution.

Mal's head twitched silently. _Gray hurt him bad, real bad. But I'm sure there's something I can do._ He tried to stem the blood flow, but it had stopped long before he'd gotten there. "Isss alright, Hardhat. I help make better. Will be all right." As he continued to try to control the imaginary bleeding, a small, metal box fell out of the Texan's pocket and clattered to the floor. His beacon.

The Scoutbot's head jittered and skipped violently, and he smacked himself to get it to stop. _Oh, there's the problem. His light thing went out! If I can get it to light back up, he'll be okay again!_ He fumbled with the box, tugging and clawing at his hat in an effort to stop the growing spasms. "I'll mamamamake it all right, _Harrr_ Hardhat! Will be a-a-a-a-a-aght!" No matter what Mal did, the beacon refused to light back up, and all he earned for his frantic efforts was a sad display of sparks and a thin trail of smoke.

Mal stared at the box dumbly as reality truly sank in. No amount of forced logic could hide the drying blood, the ruined beacon, Engineer's too-pale skin. He was dead. And he wasn't coming back.

Mal let out a blood-curdling scream.

* * *

 **You forget, Pyro has a fire-retardant suit. He wasn't cooked long enough to be killed, just enough to put him out of commission. But I guess it didn't matter, because now he ded.**

 **I will take a bath in the hateful reviews and unfollows I'm going to get for this one. I fully deserve it. I seriously enjoyed making Mal finally snap and freak out. Hoo boy, did I. Way more than I should, I admit, but I enjoyed it all the same. It's been coming for a long time.**

 **So, here's hoping for another quick update so we can see where this goes.**


	35. Finality

**...Wow. I mean, I figured I was going to upset a few readers, but damn, I actually lost quite a few over the last chapter. I suppose that means I wrote the scene well, but I hope they come back for these last two chapters. I'd feel bad if I actually managed to chase someone away.**

 **Well, I updated a day earlier than normal, so to those of you who stayed, or to anyone that had left and just came back for the update, I hope this serves well enough as an apology.**

* * *

Mal lost track of time in that room. He couldn't stand the thought of leaving Engineer by himself, yet he couldn't bear to look at him, either. It was his fault that Engineer was like this. He'd let the Texan follow him to the giants' lair, and he couldn't help him get away when they got cornered. He'd gotten them caught. Maybe he should have pretended that he really had set the trap; everyone would have hated him, including Engineer, but at least he wouldn't be dead.

So Mal stayed, wallowing in an almost physical agony, not caring if he shorted out but never quite managing it. He was forced to endure an incredible pain that he had no business feeling, and he wanted nothing more than for it to just end.

...No, that wasn't true. He wanted Engineer back. He wanted out. He wanted his friends. He wanted to live.

And above all, he wanted the bastard that killed Engineer fucking dead.

The horrible feeling inside Mal twisted and expanded, giving him the willpower to pick himself up from his sorry state on the floor. He had no idea where Gray could be now- he probably had more than two rooms to himself, though if he did Mal didn't know about them- but there had to be a way to find him. His smaller office had a wall of monitors. The Scoutbot didn't see anything like that here, but he didn't doubt that there was something like it somewhere. So he started looking.

Mal found what he was looking for when he realized that Gray's desk had a semi-hidden panel on top. It slid back easily, revealing several small screens that flickered to life the moment they were revealed. There were also a few switches and dials, but Mal didn't need them. He watched one monitor as a crowd of robots, some facing backwards, forced their way down a hallway, stopping at a door that was identical to the ones around it and ushering someone- Gray- inside. At the far end of the camera's reach, a light flickered from a perpendicular hallway. Mal took note of that; besides being able to tell that the Mann was in one of the large hallways, that light would be the only landmark the Scoutbot could use to find him.

Mal nearly stalked out of the room to go find him, but he stopped and swore when he remembered that, once again, he didn't have a weapon. A quick search of the room turned up nothing, not even so much as a pocket knife. It looked like Mal would have to go and find something. Again.

That fact reminded the Scoutbot of another thing: he wouldn't be doing this by himself. If he tried to do it alone, he would inevitably be captured _again,_ if not outright killed, and even if he was kept alive, it would only be so that Gray could kill him himself. If he was going to do this, he was going to need help.

Mal recalled that Engineer had built him a communication device, but when he felt for his microphone, all he found was the one he'd been manufactured with. It must have gotten removed when he was taken the first time. Tugging at his hat, he stomped over to Pyro, relieving the corpse of the headset buried within its mask. He couldn't stand to touch Engineer's. Pyro's looked to be some sort of earpiece, so Mal had to hold it up to where his ear should have been. He only hoped that someone on the other end would be willing to listen to him.

Mal pressed the small button and asked, "Hey, who's dere?" Jesus, even he could barely understand himself. He repeated himself, this time straining to keep the static out of his voice.

The second he let go of the button, he heard the muddled sound of yelling and gunfire; it was nearly impossible to make out any one sound. Mal could only make out one word, from the only mercenary with an external headset. "...Bobby...?"

Mal didn't move for a while, nor did he speak until the cracks and booms of their weapons died down. "...No. Mal."

"Where da fuck _are_ you?!" Scout cried all of a sudden, barely any more intelligible than the Scoutbot. "Ya think we didn't notice Py was gone? What da hell happened?!" This time, Mal didn't reply at all. "...No. No, you didn't..."

"It's loike I said," Mal heard Sniper say. "No one believed me when I said it wanted everyone dead."

"NO!" The Scoutbot screamed. The bad feeling started bubbling up, and he tried to relieve it by pacing. He wasn't even five feet from the bodies. "Maker killddda dem! _Maker!_ Got-Gotta stop Maker! And I know where he is! I not think! I _know!_ "

"Vhy should ve believe _anyzhing_ you have to say?!" Medic shrieked. "You led us to a place vhere you vere _so sure_ he'd be, und got vun of our Scouts killed! You took Engineer und Pyro vizh you, und now zhey're dead as vell! Ve vill be just fine vizhout your supposed help!"

"I'm not a liar!" Mal pleaded. "Just... Please, I need help."

"Whoi don't ya do us all a favor and shut up," grunted Sniper. After that, the line went completely dead.

Mal stared at the earpiece dumbly for a moment, then threw it at the ground with a scream, desperately clawing at his hat. Why couldn't things just go right for once?! They all wanted the same thing, why was that so hard to understand?!

No, he couldn't afford to lose his cool, not now. What he needed to do was find a gun, get to Gray, and shoot him, with or without the mercenaries' help. He could freak out as much as he wanted after that, though knowing that didn't stop him from feeling like he was about to lose his mind. What he needed to do was keep things simple. His first order: find a gun.

Mal stepped out of the office, doing his best to reign in the sparks he was emitting. He knew he wouldn't find anything in the large hallways, so he made his way to the smaller ones. Despite being in such a poor state, he was completely ignored by the robots he passed. For all they knew, the rogue Scoutbot was dead.

Mal found a group of dead robots only a few minutes away from the transition. The mercenaries must have just recently come by. Mal was concerned that they were somehow tracking him- one of the Spies?- but that didn't stop him from looting an oil-leaking Scoutbot corpse. Now he had a scattergun.

Order two: Get to Gray.

This step wasn't going to be nearly as easy. If the halls weren't crawling with giants, then they would have congregated wherever Gray was. In the smaller hallways, Mal's presence was normal, but a small robot had no business with giants. He would be killed on sight.

But this time, the thought wasn't enough to deter him. It didn't matter if he ran into anything, or if he was completely surrounded. It didn't matter what happened, so long as Gray paid in the end. Mal was out of options and well beyond caring. Even the warnings flashing in his vision weren't enough to distract him.

It came as a surprise, or maybe it didn't, when Mal, once again, didn't encounter any larger robots. That had to mean that most, if not all, were protecting Gray. That made him easier to find, but reaching him was going to be a lot harder. It didn't matter. It was going to be done one way or another, Mal would make sure of that.

A few minutes later, he saw what had become of many of the robots.

The hallways ahead were absolutely littered with fallen giants. Some had chunks missing or strewn about, a few had scorch marks on their heads or backs, and all of them were pocked with bullet holes. Something had obviously happened, and Mal was certain that the mercenaries were behind it. He didn't know how they got through without passing him, but he was thankful that they didn't find him. He wasn't sure if they really were tracking him, or if they had somehow gotten the cameras in the other room working and found Gray that way. If the latter was true, Mal didn't know if that made his mission easier or harder.

Suppressing a jarring shudder, the Scoutbot picked up the pace. Even when faced with a threat on the level of eighteen mercenaries and their bosses, there simply weren't enough giants to thoroughly patrol the dizzying hallways. The fact that there were so many here meant that Gray was somewhere nearby. And if he was, then there would also be...

There. The flickering light. He was just feet from where Gray was hiding, he knew it! Shaking and twitching with excitement, fear, and anticipation, Mal sprinted to the door he needed, which slid open automatically to let him enter.

Inside was absolute carnage. Humans and robots shouted and fought, turning the rather large room into a sea of flesh and metal. It was impossible to make out a single form, but the Scoutbot knew, he _knew,_ that Gray was somewhere in this room. He had to be here. He just needed to find him.

Steeling his nerves, Mal forced his way through the crowd, his facial recognition flickering wildly as it tried to sift through the known faces and models. Somewhere a Heavy screamed as he was riddled with bullets, and just next to Mal an unlucky Medicbot was crushed underfoot by some robot at least five times its size. Mal couldn't do this. He couldn't. He didn't know what was going on, where he was, who was around him, the sounds, the static, the flashes, the warnings, they were... overwhelming... and...

Gray was right there. Mal froze on the spot, paralyzed with fear, as the Mann stopped at a guarded door at the far end of the room. As he input the password to get inside, he chanced a look over his shoulder. Mal knew the look on his face. He'd seen him. He knew exactly who he was.

Gray opened the door and bolted, and the feeling inside Mal grew, twisted, and screamed. He ran, shoving the surprised guards aside before the door could shut in front of him. They ducked in and pursued him, shooting at his back. The Scoutbot paid them no mind. Even when bullets pinged off of his back, even when a bullet to the back of the head shorted out his vision on one side, he completely ignored them. They weren't catching up to him, and his target wasn't outrunning him.

"Mal, please, stop this nonsense!" Engineer pleaded, but the Scoutbot shoved the Spybot aside and kept running. Nothing was going to stop him. He was almost on top of Gray. The Mann's legs were pumping, but he might as well have not been moving at all.

Mal tackled Gray to the ground, sending them both tumbling. The robots stopped shooting, lest they accidentally hit their Maker. The scuffle ended with Mal on top, pinning Gray's legs beneath him and holding his right hand in place with a firm grip on his wrist. His guards were shouting and barking at him, but he paid them no mind. It was just him and Gray. "Rememba me? Yeah, you dddo."

"You... You should be de-" Gray cut himself off with a scream; he'd tried to reach for his gun with his free hand, but Mal had slammed his fist down on it, the durable metal easily shattering the frail bones beneath it. The Mann panted as he tried to find his voice once more. "Eve... Even if you kill me, you will gain nothing. All of my robots will run out of power, including you. No one will bother keeping you alive. Heh, you have no one left who cares about you, do you?"

If Gray had wanted to live, that was the wrong thing to say. Mal knew who he was referring to, and he knew exactly what he was doing. He was calling his bluff. He was goading him, but he didn't care. With jarring force, Mal shoved the barrel of the scattergun into the Mann's chest. The murderer just glared at him, daring him.

Order three: Shoot him.

* * *

 **I guess this is one of those cliffhangers where you know what's going to happen. What would you call that, exactly? A ledgedangler?**

 **So hopefully this at least in part makes up for last chapter. If it doesn't, I still have one chapter left to make things right. ;)**


	36. Epilogue

**Wow. Here we are, guys. Shit. I hope you guys enjoyed this, because I sure did. At the time of me posting this, the story has 57 faves, 70 follows, 111 reviews, and over 18.6k views. I was not at all expecting this kind of reception. Thank you all SO much!**

 **Just so you know, there's a SUPER important AN at the bottom, so please, be sure to read that!**

 **I can't say I'm proud of how this chapter went. I tied up some loose ends, but even knowing that I'll be making a sequel, it just feels unfinished to me. I mean, I'll let you guys be the judges, but if you think there's something I should add, or you see something that needs to be fixed, please, let me know and I'll fix it as soon as I can.**

* * *

Even amidst the sounds of chaos in the other room, something about that single shot made everyone stop. Humans and robots alike lowered their weapons, heads turning to face the locked door. At first no one dared to move, but eventually two Spybots cautiously approached the door and punched in the code. They both quickly filed in, followed by as many humans and robots as would fit.

Even knowing what had happened, no one could believe what they were seeing. Gray, surrounded by his personal guard, a gaping hole in his chest and a single Scoutbot hunched over him. It was quite obvious who the culprit was.

Many of the robots dropped their weapons. Some of them laughed. Others became angry. Forgetting about the humans they had been fighting, these ones charged at the Scoutbot, but were then grappled by their fellow machines. Robots who had served out of fear or patience fought with those who had always been on Gray's side, turning the lasting battle against Mann Co. into a civil war. With nothing left for them to fight, the eight remaining humans crowded around the Mann's body, the last Medic absently healing the Scoutbot while marveling at the corpse of the man they'd been fighting for so many grueling months.

Mal wasn't aware of any of this happening around him. All he knew was the man pinned beneath him, the man who had lied, deceived, and killed to get the things he wanted. When Mal had shot him, he had made sure to leave his face unscathed. In the few seconds it took for Gray's heart to realize it no longer existed, Mal could see what he felt on his face. He recognized fear, anger, pain, regret, and satisfaction. Gray knew he'd made many mistakes, but he wasn't sorry for any of them. He deserved what he got.

Mal slowly, unsteadily, rose to his feet. He let out a victorious cry, and the survivors around him, human or otherwise, joined him.

Gray's empire had fallen.

(...)

Defeated, the remaining loyal robots didn't put up much of a fight against Hale as he continued his rampage. Hostiles were killed. Neutrals were killed. Anything lacking logic beyond their basic programming was killed. Some who weren't lacking saved him the trouble and did the deed themselves. By the end of it, only about two hundred robots remained base-wide. Not many, in the grand scheme of things.

After receiving word that Gray and most of his army had been eliminated, Miss Pauling was sent in to reevaluate the situation. She believed that there was hope for the mercenaries, and, surprisingly, the Administrator agreed.

Once Pauling arrived at the base, she demanded that the robots show her where Gray had his Respawn tech kept. A small group of Spybots and Mecha Engineers led her and the mercenaries down a series of hallways deep in the base, showing them a fairly inconspicuous door. They were told to go in first, and they did. They were told to use the relatively small control panel to search for anyone that had been lost to Respawn, and they did.

In the end, it was lucky that Scout had chosen to attack when he did. Gray, in reality, had had very little control over Respawn. He hadn't yet logged himself in, perhaps not knowing how to, and he hadn't removed the deceased mercenaries from the system; he'd merely locked them in. All that needed to be done was to set a spawn timer and a location. Miss Pauling requested that the mercenaries appear in that room, and it was so.

The first to reappear was the BLU Scout, and his brother ran into his confused arms, completely soaking his shirt through with tears. If anyone dared to mention it, though, he vehemently denied it and threatened to kick the offender's ass. After Bobby, the rest appeared in class order, all dizzy and nauseous, but perfectly alive and well. Many present cheered, but most just smiled or nodded politely.

Now they just needed to retrieve one last ally.

(...)

After Gray's death, no one dared to approach Mal. Even though the battle was long over, the Scoutbot still thought that everyone around him was out to kill him. He remained largely motionless, aside from the occasional tic, but if anyone got close, he would go into a mad frenzy. If approached by a robot, they would be immediately shot at or even killed. If it was a human, though, he would become paranoid, screaming about Spies but never shooting. Although, there was one time where he nearly killed the BLU Engineer when he tried to get close to fix what he figured was a "logical error." Thanks to the BLU Pyro's testimony, the mercenaries eventually came to realize that the Scoutbot really hadn't known about the ambush, but they weren't sure about whether or not it was just better to put the robot out of his misery.

One of them wanted to see what they could do first, though.

Even though the mercenaries were wary, they let Engineer into the room where Mal stood stock still. He wasn't looking good at all. On the occasions he did move, he would either pull or claw at his head, or make a series of bizarre noises the Texan had never heard him make before. It sounded suspiciously like crying.

"Mal," he said gently. The Scoutbot's head snapped up with an audible _crack._ "You remember me, right? It's me."

"NO!" Mal shrieked, raising his scattergun. His hands were shaking. "You're a _Spy! Spy!_ Fuckin' _Spy!_ Go da fuck! Go! _Spy!_ "

"Mal, it really is me," Engineer pressed, never raising his voice. He started to slowly approach, his eyes on Mal instead of the gun. "Miss Pauling got Respawn workin' again. It's over. You've got nothin' to worry about."

"You're not Hardhat!" Mal yelled, backing away and rubbing one hand over his face. "Hardhat is... is dead! And I'm da one who FUCKIN' killed him! Dead! You're a Spy! You're... You're a Spy!"

"Here, just look." After glancing behind himself to make sure no one else had come in, Engineer ripped his glove off, raising his robotic hand so that it could be clearly seen. "I know ya remember this, and ya know how I feel about showin' this off. I'm not a Spy, you've gotta believe me."

Mal did lower his scattergun then, twitching. Yes, he did remember. He inched closer and closer, stepping sideways and watching the Texan like a hawk. When nothing came of their close proximity, the Scoutbot dropped the weapon entirely, snatching the raised hand. The fingers moved the same way, but Mal couldn't be sure yet. He prodded the tissue where metal and skin met. He reached up and tilted Engineer's hardhat it backwards, then pushed it back in place. He lifted the Texan's goggles to see if there were eyes beneath them. He knew that these were things a Spybot couldn't fake.

After a long and uneasy silence, Mal enveloped Engineer in one of the tightest hugs he had ever mustered, wailing and stuttering an impressive string of apologies. Engineer simply did his best to help him calm down...

...and then fell backwards when the Scoutbot shuddered and put his full weight on him, completely drained.

(...)

Some time later, after Mal had been given time to charge, Miss Pauling and Saxton Hale had everyone gather at the entrance of the base, robots included, to discuss future plans.

"Now that the competition between Mann Co. and Gray Gravel Co. is over," Pauling droned, glancing up from her clipboard, "the merger between Reliable Excavation and Demolition and Builders League United has officially ended." There was a mix of murmurs and cheers at the news, and Miss Pauling had to clear her throat to get the mercenaries' attention. "However, due to the stress caused by this dispute and the mental exhaustion it may have caused, the Administrator has called for a mandatory vacation of exactly one year." She trailed off on the last word, flipping through her papers like she couldn't believe what they'd said. Nope, she'd read them correctly. The mercs had been given an entire year off.

Some of the men were ecstatic, whooping and cheering. Most of them, however, had nowhere to go, and were just as loud as their peers in expressing their disapproval. "Most of us, if not all of us, are wanted criminals," the BLU Spy said evenly. "Where are we supposed to go that will not result in us getting arrested or killed?"

"Oh, I can take care of all that," Miss Pauling replied with a sweet smile. "It's not as if any of you have done anything wrong, anyway. I'm sure your respective countries' governments will figure out that their documentation is faulty and realize that your records are perfectly clean." A few of the mercs shuddered. The Women in Purple were too powerful for their own good, not that anyone dared to say it out loud.

"Wot's gonna happen to the robots?" the RED Sniper asked. "It's not loike we can let 'em loose around the humans. It'd cause nothin' but trouble."

"I'm sure we can find something for them to do. Under surveillance, of course," Saxton answered him. "We could always use some extra hands to speed up production, and I have more than enough money to keep them running. It's like free labor I can't get sued for! Though I guess it's not really free..."

"You all have one hour to prepare for your departure," Miss Pauling said. "Exchange whatever information you wish. Names, addresses, phone numbers, social security, you get the gist. No need to worry about your personal belongings or your vehicles. They're already waiting for you at your respective terminals."

For a long time, the mercenaries swapped whatever information they were willing to give- only the Demos were dumb enough to give their SSNs away, though the Soldiers would have if they'd even had them to begin with- and some of them even engaged in casual conversation with some of the robots. The Scouts were having a grand time asking one of their robot selves how they drank Bonk! when they didn't even have mouths. Even the BLU Engineer had mustered the courage to question a Medicbot about how their Mediguns could fuse metal without heat.

Mal, though, wasn't comfortable with approaching anyone, and the feeling was largely mutual. A few had come up to apologize, but really, no one wanted to be anywhere near a robot that had supposedly lost its mind, however temporary. The Scoutbot just felt awful.

Still, not everyone was determined to avoid him. A Sniper that Mal could only assume was the BLU one strode in his direction, and he inched away with dim eyes, wary. However, the Aussie didn't seem to have anything especially awful to say.

"I'm not gonna apologoize for anyhtin' I've said or done to ya, let's start with that. You bein' a stupid ponce got most of us killed, but... wot ya did helped to keep the same from happenin' to the rest of us, so I s'pose I owe ya a little respect, at least. And no, Engineer did _not_ tell me to tell ya that." With a sneer, he stuck one hand out, offering a small truce.

The gesture, though, flew straight over Mal's head, and he blinked in confusion. "Uh... Nice to meet ya...?"

With an annoyed snort, Sniper waved his hand dismissively and stormed off.

Seconds later, Engineer, who had been talking with Scout, walked up, watching the marksman's back. "Hey, he didn't say anyhtin' mean to ya, did he?"

After a moment, Mal shook his head. "...No, don't think so. Nice to meet ya, or thanks, or... I think. I don't know what he said."

The Texan gave a short hum in response. He didn't say anything for a few minutes. "...Hey, Mal. Do ya think... Do ya think you'd _like_ workin' for Hale, buildin' guns for the rest of your life?"

Mal didn't even have to think about it. "No, absolutely not. No. Like... Like dismantle fire, but not? I'm scare-da, I do not like."

"I see," Engineer murmured. He smiled. "Well, I've talked with Miss Pauling, and she cleared this with the Administrator... I was hopin', maybe, you'd like to come and stay with me for the year? I know someone who'd love to meet ya."

Mal looked at him fully then, thrown off by the offer. "...Dat's good? Dat's alright?"

"Well, not really," Engineer admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "But in my case, I'm an inventor. It wouldn't be too unusual to see a walkin' talkin' robot in my neighborhood, so long as everyone thought I built ya. That is, if you'd really like to come with me."

It wasn't a hard decision for Mal to make. "Yeah! I wanna go!"

Engineer laughed heartily at that. "Glad to hear it!"

Minutes later, Miss Pauling called for everyone's attention once more, pointing them to a row of four Teleporters; no one knew how or when they got there, but there they were (though Engineer thought that Pauling had said that Teleporters weren't good for long distances). She guided the robots to the one on the far right, while the other three teams each got their own. The mercenaries were instructed to take turns on the Teleporters, which would take them to the airports closest to their respective bases. Miss Pauling assured them all that they'd gotten tickets to wherever they needed to go, and yes, they were all cleared for flight.

Among the last to go was Engineer, Mal at his side. Once the Teleporter was ready, the Texan stepped onto it, disappearing in a flash of light. Mal rocked on his feet, eager to follow him. Once the platform started spinning again, he all but hopped on, leaving all the terrible things behind.

The End

* * *

 **...Well, fuck.**

 **All right, let's get into the important stuff. First, the sequel. It will be a direct sequel, and it will be shitty in the sense that it takes place in Bee Caves (which I've never been to), and Engie has a wife, though I will try SO HARD to not Mary Sue the shit out of her. After the first one or two chapters, the rest might not take place in chronological order, and if that's the case, I will indicate how much time has passed from the FIRST CHAPTER. The sequel is mostly meant to teach or learn things about Mal and how he would behave in different situations, so I am super open to chapter suggestions. So long as they're within the boundaries of the AU, anyway. Knowing me, though, the story will develop some semblance of a plot over time, but if it will, I don't know what said plot would be yet.**

 **Okay, a prequel. I have written out a oneshot prequel to help clear up a few other things from EM. Some of it is from Mal's POV, but it's more omniscient. If I don't post it later today, maybe expect it within a few days? I don't know.**

 **Also, I know that some robots had only been brought up briefly, so I also plan to do a oneshot collection, with chapters dedicated to robots like M-146, SC-62 and SC-63, and SN-98. These will also largely be written based on request. Give me a robot you want to learn more about, and I will do an origin story or something. Give me a scene with it, and I'll write what was going on from their POV.**

 **Animation. Thanks to Little J's DSi breaking, flipnotes will take a LOT longer, if it's even possible for me to get them off of my 3DS. I want to do an SFM animated series of the fic, but I could sure use some help with maps. I'm learning how to make them, but all I've done is a cube to test out, and it didn't work. If anyone can post a fixed Ghost Town in the workshop (with a base attached to the Resupply Rooms, if at all possible), or tell me how I can do this myself without downloading a bunch of programs or apps, it would be a great help!**

 **Lastly, the rewrite. I want to rewrite this, but probably not any time soon. When/If I get around to it, here's what can be expected: Fixed plot holes/inconsistencies, better dialogue, more accurate accents, TRANSLATEABLE Pyro (no translation at the end of chapters), Gray being more prominent as a villain, and a lot less loose ends.**

 **If there's anything you want to know this moment that I haven't explained or you're just curious about, PM me. If it's something blatantly wrong or I haven't touched on it at all, I'll fix a chapter, write a oneshot, or do what I need to do to make it clearer for everyone.**

 **Thank you all so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you when the sequel/prequel rolls around!**


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